Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Depends on What You Think You Know or Saw

Oh be still my panting breath and rapidly beating heart! You just aren't going to believe this. But I bet you will find it amusing.

There I was, being a good neighbor and all, when I strolled over to collect my neighbor's mail and put it in the house for them. You see, they've been out of town and I've been watching the place from my spot on the front porch. I don't have to watch at night since they've got a house sitter for the night.

I've gone over for the past several days to check on things and to let their little puppies out for the call of the wild. Well, there's something wild going on over in those parts and it's not the puppies.

Yesterday, I found all these clothes scattered over the floor. This aroused my curiosity, but then I thought that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone in the house. So I made lots of noise with the puppies and noticed the hot tub cover was open with more clothes on the side. Ok. So, the house sitter is messy. No problem for me as sometimes I don't pick up my clothes everyday either.

Then, today. Today. Well, I saw something that no good God fearing woman should ever have to see. I picked up the mail and put the key in the lock. The lock just wasn't doing its thing, so there I was, just trying to make it work. The little puppies were crazily barking.

Hmmm, I thought as I looked in the window. There's a big wine bottle on the counter. Hmmm, I thought. There's a big spill on the kitchen floor. Hmmmm, I saw the call of the wild.

It was a naked, yes, naked man who strolled in to the kitchen to see why the puppies were barking. Now, Ms Faye, I know you would have gotten a big ole grin on your face and perhaps even invited yourself in for a look see.

Let me tell you. It would have taken a microscope to see what was out and about in that room. So, I did the polite thing. I took the key out the door, put the mail back in the box, and scooted on home so I could pour me a double mint julep.

Now the dilemma is whether I tell my neighbor of the shenanigans going on in her absence. Do I just tell her that everything looked ok and that her house sitter seemed to be on top of everything? Or do I ask for the definition of "everything ok"? You know, just like President Clinton really needed to know the definition of "is" and President Obama really needs the definition of "tax"?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My thoughts on Obama's speech...


Not to mention rude. That man kept everyone in the country waiting for almost 15 minutes. Such arrogance to think that we should all wait on him. It shows such a disdain for everyone in the country.

And another thing. You know I don't have the most brilliant mind or maybe even close to it, but even my little pea brain can figure out that you can't pay for his bazillion dollar plan by cost savings from fixing what the government already broke. My goodness, if it could have been fixed why didn't they already do it?

For those who didn't listen to his talk, he's claiming that he's going to pay for this new program of his by cutting out the waste in Medicare and Medicaid. Now even the dimmest dimwit should be askin' how they expect to do that, and why they haven't already done it, and if the government can't run Medicare and Medicaid without all those zillions of dollars of waste, what makes them think they can run our healthcare any better?

All the government needs to do is just get out of the way and quit putting all those rules and regulations on top of our healthcare folks and it'll work itself out. It's kind of like baking a cake and putting too much salt in the mix. You try to fix it by adding a bit more sugar and then you have to add a bit more flour and then you have to add some more baking soda... pretty soon you got a big mess that won't fit in the oven. So then this healthcare thing Obama is talking about is like saying they're just going to scoop some of that batter out and try to fix it. They'll add a bit more butter, a bit more flour and pretty soon the kitchen will be the biggest mess you've ever seen.

I did not like hearing our President say that people were lying either. That was crass.

He sounded like a pompous school teacher lecturing a classroom of failing students. All he did was make me angry. He must think that we're idiots and he sure enough bought into all those people telling him he was a good speaker. Hooey.

I am going to go find a tea party. Want to join me ladies?

Steamingly yours,
Miss Faye

Waitin' on the President to Speak

Well, I'm just watchin' the clock and waitin' for the President to drop those li'l ol' pearls of doom from his lips tonight at 8 p.m.. I don't reckon I have enough time to get much done so I figured I'd chat a bit with my friends here on the porch.

I suppose sooner or later that new fellah they're getting ready to confirm, Cas Sunstein, will want to outlaw our chats on here along with mint juleps. I hear tell he things animals have the same rights as you and I. Hmph. And rats? My goodness, he doesn't think we should get rid of those nasty things if it'll hurt them. Well, I'll tell you right now that they can outlaw killing rats all they want but if one gets in my house I'll figure out a way to build a mousetrap, government or no government.

What in the world is happening to our world? We have a President who puts communists in the White House, is good friends and respects some nut job who thinks animals should be able to have lawyers and oh law, I could go on and on about this man.

And the real shame is that a body can't say they don't like something he's doing without being called a racist.

I am so tired of listening to this man speak I don't know why I'm going to bother tonight but I will. I know it's just going to aggravate me and get my blood boiling. He smiles and looks at the teleprompter and tells the American public we're idiots and half of us clap. Can these people not see what this man is doing to our country? Are they so blind they can't look ten paces down the road and see where we are headin'?

There just aren't enough people left who have the mind set to look beyond the end of their own nose to see where they're heading. It's all me, me, me and now, now, now.

I am thinking that I will be finding a tea party to visit this weekend somewhere. I can not sit by idly as Mr. Obama and his friends tear down our country. I don't know if it will help any to wave my hands and stomp my feet, but this country wasn't built by people who took care of their own backsides, it took a mighty bunch of fighters.

Before I forget, did any of you ladies take a gander at that new health bill that gang of six fellah is going to try and ram down our throats? I have never seen so many taxes and intrusions into our privacy. Why, it give the IRS even MORE power than they already have! It's just chocked full of regulations, not to mention a tax on soda pop. Yep, sugar sodas. I can't wait to find out how the Coca Cola and Pepsi folks are going to feel about that one!

Time to run if I'm going to fix a beverage before the Obama show begins. I think I will also grab a bottle of antacids to be on the safe side.

Yours truly,
Miss Faye

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Legacy Continues

What a morning it is. We've really enjoyed some nice, crisp, cool mornings lately. That global warming is at it again!

Did you know the legacy continues? For the third year in a row, Kentucky has proclaimed September as "Bourban Heritage Month." And our favorite spirit comes in with 13% of a survey for favorite ways to enjoy it.

Bourban has long been a spirit in America as Congress even declared it as "America's Native Spirit" in 1964. So, here's a morning julep juice salute to those over the generations who have believed in the spirit-- of moderation and responsible use. Oh, yeah, here's to the memory of the Irish bootlegger's grandson.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Here's a Theory For Ya!

Got it gals. The most postitively best conspiracy theory to propose. All you have to do is look at the headlines and it should pop out to you like it did to me. Ok, I admit it. It became obvious after I filled up my julep juice cup this morning while I was waiting for you friends to show up on the porch.


Mandatory Swine Flu Vaccine Found to be Contaminated with Mind Numbing Drugs

That's just so you don't have to worry your little ole common folk brains about what's going on around you with job losses, higher taxes, health care reform, etc. Just let the elected elite take care of you.

See ya,

Ms. Georgie

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The More I Read the Health Bill, the Sicker I Get

You gals best be careful as you heave yourselves up on the porch this am. I have been spending time doing something that our esteemed elected officials up in DC can't seem to do-- I've been reading parts of the proposed health bill. And I'm here to tell ya, I'm getting sick just reading it.

What are those folks smokin' up there? Can't they read? Bless my little ole heart, but I'm in need of more mint juleps than I can find this morn.

Can you define "uni" as in universal? Doesn't it mean ONE? Why, then, do the esteemed elected officials and maybe employees of Uncle Sam get to have a second or even third plan? Where is the "uni" in more than one plan? Boys, let me tell ya-- if it's "good" enough for the goose, then it's "good" enough for the gander.

And this health bill ain't good for anyone! Now the title sounds innocent enough- HR 3200 -To provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans and reduce the growth in health care spending, and for other purposes.

Wait. Hold your horses. What are the other "purposes"? Well , let me share with you some of the purposes-- like ordering death, fixing your estate for you, counseling on your marriage, stepping aside if you are old or sick so others can have health care, government access to your bank account at any time, etc.

Friends, you gotta read this nightmare of a bill. And then you gotta open your mouth loud for all to hear. Get your voice heard by your elected official. Maybe they can come off the drugs that are being fed to them up in Washington and see reality.

Here are some of the wonderful ways in which the proposed health bill will fix you right up. (Thanks to another fired up friend for sending these along.)

If this doesn't make your blood boil over then I don't know what will!!!! esp page 59 and 425 about the living wills and estate taxes.....and what about 170 and 50 and 241 and 253 and...and and....and..... at least you can claim that you read it before your elected representative bothered to.

You may verify these highlights by reading the bill yourself at:

The Government will decide if you will receive life saving treatment if you have a serious disease such as cancer or heart ailments. President Obama’s Chief of Staff has said several times in public that old people and “special needs” patients will just have to step aside when it comes to receiving health care. And this bill is claimed to fix the best health care system in the world. And if you are a veteran and receive care from the VA – no guarantees are included that the VA will not become a “billpayer” and closed to fund the social health system.

What is broke is our Congress and President. They all need to listen to citizens and not special interest groups.

Have you written or called your congressman today!! Let's send a letter as often as possible, and show them who’s in charge at their “town halls”!!!

Take a look at the Health Care Bill the House is now voting on:

• Page 16: States that if you have insurance at the time of the bill becoming law and change, you will be required to take a similar plan. If that is not available, you will be required to take the gov option!
• Page 22: Mandates audits of all employers that self-insure!
• Page 29: Admission: your health care will be rationed!
• Page 30: A government committee will decide what treatments and benefits you get (and, unlike an insurer, there will be no appeals process)
• Page 42: The "Health Choices Commissioner" will decide health benefits for you. You will have no choice. None.
• Page 50: All non-US citizens, illegal or not, will be provided with free healthcare services.
• Page 58: Every person will be issued a National ID Healthcard.
• Page 59: The federal government will have direct, real-time access to all individual bank accounts for electronic funds transfer.
• Page 65: Taxpayers will subsidize all union retiree and community organizer health plans (example: SEIU, UAW and ACORN)
• Page 72: All private healthcare plans must conform to government rules to participate in a Healthcare Exchange.
• Page 84: All private healthcare plans must participate in the Healthcare Exchange (i.e., total government control of private plans)
• Page 91: Government mandates linguistic infrastructure for services; translation: illegal aliens
• Page 95: The Government will pay ACORN and Americorps20to sign up individuals for Government-run Health Care plan.
• Page 102: Those eligible for Medicaid will be automatically enrolled: you have no choice in the matter.
• Page 124: No company can sue the government for price-fixing. No "judicial review" is permitted against the government monopoly. Put simply, private insurers will be crushed.
• Page 127: The AMA sold doctors out: the government will set wages.
• Page 145: An employer MUST auto-enroll employees into the government-run public plan. No alternatives.
• Page 126: Employers MUST pay healthcare bills for part -time employees AND their families.
• Page 149: Any employer with a payroll of $400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays an 8% tax on payroll.
• Page 150: Any employer with a payroll of $250K-400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays a 2 to 6% tax on payroll
• Page 167: Any individual who doesnt' have acceptable healthcare (according to the government) will be taxed 2.5% of income.
• Page 170: Any NON-RESIDENT al ien is exempt from individual taxes (Americans will pay for them).
• Page 195: Officers and employees of Government Healthcare Bureaucracy will have access to ALL American financial and personal records.
• Page 203: "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax." Yes, it really says that.
• Page 239: Bill will reduce physician services for Medicaid. Seniors and the poor most affected."
• Page 241: Doctors: no matter what speciality you have, you'll all be paid the same (thanks, AMA!)
• Page 253: Government sets value of doctors' time, their professional judgment, etc.
• Page 265: Government mandates and controls productivity for private healthcare industries.
• Page 268: Government regulates rental and purchase of power-driven wheelchairs.
• Page 272: Cancer patients: welcome to the wonderful world of rationing!
• Page 280: Hospitals will be penalized for what the government deems preventable re-admissions.
• Page 298: Doctors: if you treat a patient during an initial admission that results in a readmission, you will be penalized by the government.
• Page 317: Doctors: you are now prohibited for owning and investing in healthcare companies!
• Page 318: Prohibition on hospital expansion. Hospitals cannot expand without government approval.
• Page 321: Hospital expansion hinges on "community" input: in other words, yet another payoff for ACORN.
• Page 335: Government mandates establishment of outcome-based measures: i.e., rationing.
• Page 341: Government has authority to disqualify Medicare Advantage Plans, HMOs, etc.
• Page 354: Government will restrict enrollment of SPECIAL NEEDS individuals.
• Page 379: More bureaucracy: Telehealth Advisory Committee (healthcare by phone).
• Page 425: More bureaucracy: Advance Care Planning Consult: Senior Citizens, assisted suicide, euthanasia?
• Page 425: Government will instruct and consult regarding living wills, durable powers of attorney, etc. Mandatory. Appears to lock in estate taxes ahead of time.
• Page 425:=2 0Goverment provides approved list of end-of-life resources, guiding you in death.
• Page 427: Government mandates program that orders end-of-life treatment; government dictates how your life ends.
• Page 429: Advance Care Planning Consult will be used to dictate treatment as patient's health deteriorates. This can include an ORDER for end-of-life plans. An ORDER from the GOVERNMENT.
• Page 430: Government will decide what level of treatments you may have at end-of-life.
• Page 469: Community-based Home Medical Services: more payoffs for ACORN.
• Page 472: Payments to Community-based organizations: more payoffs for ACORN.
• Page 489: Government will cover marriage and family therapy. Government intervenes in your marriage.
• Page 494: Government will cover mental health services: defining, creating and rationing those services.

Gotta go now. I'm too sick to carry on.

Ms. Georgie

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Peach Mint Julep... sounds yummy!

I'm drooling just thinking about combining two of my favorite southern treats! I have never thought about making a mint julep with PEACHES. Oh me, oh my, it just sets my little ol' taste buds a tingling. I can tell that my butt is going to be sitting in one of these fine places very, very soon to check out this delightful sounding concoction. After I've imbibed a few, I will then have to figure out a way to make a pitcher for my front porch friends!

This came to me via email. They must know how much I love my mint juleps!

Cocktail lovers & fruit enthusiasts,

Celebrate National Peach Month at Atlanta's Gerber Bars, Whiskey Park, Whiskey Blue & the Living Room lounges, by sipping on the newest seasonal cocktail, the Peach Mint Julep. The summer libation is made with fresh diced peaches, handcrafted to pay tribute to Georgia's favorite fruit. If you need an excuse, peaches are great sources of carotene, potassium and natural sugars. Works for us!

If the recipe below doesn't make you drool, we give up.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Whoo hoo, Mint Juleps are on the menu...

I love it when those who supposedly know everything tell us things I want to hear and believe. Miss Etta, your little vignette saying two alcoholic drinks a day can stave off dementia are in that 'want to and will" believe category. Please, please do not ever tell me that they have decided differently as they are wont to do.

Only two a day though? Well, that is a lady-like amount I do suppose, so I will constrain myself as my Mama would expect.

I have been reading back over some of the doings and goings-on that have been happening on the front porch while I traipse off all over the world. I do so miss rambling with you ladies.

What interesting and very sad times we are living in. Who would have ever thought that our America would so quickly go away?

When I was growing up I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to what they were doing at our Capital. I was off flitting about, being led by my nose at times into believing some mess that was the craze all the while thinking I was being independent and bucking the system.

If it was establishment I was against it.

What I didn't realize is how I was being herded by the media, by those very people I was thinking I was rebelling against. Although, the word rebellion never crossed my mind!

How easily our youth are led. They go to college and are surrounded by a certain mind-set and they swallow it hook, line and sinker. They think they're different, they think they're going to make the world a better place. Instead their sponge-like minds are being saturated with things that ultimately hurt the very thing they think they're fighting for.

Those who are truly individuals, who are truly strong, aren't sucked into the latest campus fads, into voting like their friends, into doing what the herd is doing.

If only they could stand above the fray, somehow move above what the crowd is doing (all being independent! ha) and see what they're really doing. Impossible I suppose.

They think they're working for a better future. They are being spoon-fed crap in strawberry jelly and they think it's good. Some day, some day, they will reap the crop they're sowing and they will look back, as I look back, and see just how stupid they were. They will see that they truly weren't independent. They will see that they just followed the herd.

There are some who buck the crowd, who choose their own path. I think those are the ones who may save the country. Either that or they'll find Galt's Gulch and build their own utopia, away from the masses who have their hands out, who think they're "owed" something.

Well, my ladies, I think it's time to stop this tirade. I am so frustrated and feel so helpless about all I see happening. I want the entire country to show up at the next Tea Party!

Missing you greatly,
The long-lost Miss Faye

Coming Soon to a Doctor Near You! Orders to Kill from the Government

Sit down, my friends, before you fall over. I'm beginning to think we all live in a really bad movie.

Our esteemed elected officials up in Washington are considering health care reform. We all know this. But do you know that hidden in the bill are several items that make me refill my julep juice everytime I hear about it?

It would appear that private health care will be a thing of the past. No longer can you choose. I guess that means our esteemed elected officials think we're too stupid to make our our choices about anything. And, I mean anything regarding our health.

Yep, my friends, it would appear the government will choose when you die. What? Yep. If you get sick with whatever defines that in their world, they will choose a doctor who will write end of life orders for you. Excuse me? END OF LIFE ORDERS? What? Now the government will tell us when we are useless to society? Who will they choose first? Those with cancer? Diabetes? Heart conditions? Asthma? Wounded veterans? Automobile accident victims? Burn victims? HIV patients? The common cold?

Oh. And, of course, our esteemed elected officials and federal government employees are exempt. Guess that means they are the only ones approved for life. This gives being pro-life a whole new meaning.

My message? Read the health care bill thoroughly. Let your esteemed elected officials know where you stand.

And all of this is on top of the President saying yesterday that he really didn't have a clue as to what was in the bill. Yet, he's trying to push it through in the next week or so. Hmmm. Inquiring minds want to know--- why?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Want Some More Juice in Your Life?

Ah, my front porch was a might wet this morning. Lots of rain and thunder overnight was in our area. So, after I had to retreat back inside for a towel, I saw a couple of news stories that had me ready for our daily porch swing amblings.

First, I am pleased to announce that official studies now support our little daily use of julep juice. Yeppers, that's right. The study says that older people appear to benefit from one or two alcoholic drinks per day. Seems it's supposed to help keep dementia away. Now they also said we couldn't have more than that, or our chances would increase. I know I'm not that old, but I'm in training to get there.

The other story which caught my eye was one on an interactive exhibition over in Germany that, well, (how does one put it gently?) allows one to touch mannequins in order to learn to please behind closed doors. Can you imagine? Do they have a mannequin that says it has a headache, too? Or one that is too tired? They do have one to measure spanking and other various assorted, well, I can't even say it without blushing.

I best go load up on some morning julep juice to calm down the blush in my face! And you just thought it was the mint in the julep that made me blush!

Miss Etta

Monday, July 6, 2009

Will the King's Horses and Men Let Humpty Dumpty Fall Now?

Is the shell of Humpty Dumpty starting to crack? Will his yessirthankyouverymuchmayIhave anothersir men start to let it?

There's plenty of talk surfacing, even from the Joe Biden that the we'regonnacreatjobsintheemergencygottahaveitstimulusplan is failing and that Americans are being scammed. There's talk from Colin Powell saying the president needs to slow down and look at the red tape and costs of his plans. There's talk of moderate Dems getting antsy over their increasing lack of appeal from their voters. There's talk of the president's popularity falling down.

Are some people starting to wake up and realize that the inexperience of Humpty Dumpty could lead to a fall? Will his men and horses attempt to put it back together or will they start to stand for Americans, you know, the ones who voted for them?

Just wondering, my friends.

Ms. Georgie

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Questions You Need to Ask Your Representatives over July 4th

Well, now that you found that last little article, I went on a search and found another one for us all to read. These questions are good and should be answered by every politician who dares to show up over the July 4th weekend to celebrate the good ole USA.

Of course, I think I will add a fourth question- since it is the 4th-- Will you be happy to have your family's healthcare governed by a bean counter and not by your physician? Will you be giving up your special over the top healthcare plan you get in Congress and be treated like a regular Joe?

Here are the questions with the accompanying story for you.

President Obama, together with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, has been working tirelessly over the last several weeks to put a positive spin on his proposed government takeover of America’s health care system.

During next week’s July 4th Congressional Recess (effectively running from June 29th to July 6th) Members of Congress will be gauging their constituents’ reaction to the Obama plan. Some will be doing a sales-pitch, others will be bashing it, and still others will just be testing the waters to see what the voters think......

Georgie Gal

Did Obama Say We Should Kill the Old Folks to Save Money Last Night?

Friends of the Front Porch Swing,

Didn't I tell you recently that I thought the government would soon be stooping down and figuring out when was the best age and time to put us down so we can push up daisies for a living? If you watched the dog and pony show last night, then you heard it live. If you didn't, then I've found an article for you to read.

Oh- the enlightened one also enlightened us on his personal belief of his health plan for his family. He wouldn't use it. So, would members of Congress have to use it or would they be deemed too important?

Read the story here: Did Obama Say We Should Kill the Old Folks to Save Money Last Night?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Taxing Thoughts

My, oh my, oh my. All the news lately has been just so distressing to me. How have you been taking it all?

First, there is chatter that our beloved free country might soon not be allowed to express our thoughts freely. Hmm. I kinda thought the first amendment in our country's Constitution addressed that. But no, it would appear that our great (cough) thinkers up in DC know so much more about mind control and what free thinking or speaking might do to a public mind.

And, then our wonder kids up there are proposing taxing sugar drinks like soda. My goodness. What will we do? Will that tax apply just to sugery drinks? If so, I should be safe as I only drink the carbonated non-sugary kinds. But just in case, I might have to go and stock up on my favorite type of caffeine fix.

And lest we forget, they now want to offer free healthcare to all and have all the taxpayers ante up the money. Sounds like a scam to me. I'm getting decent healthcare, even if my old doc thinks that julep juice is not quite healthy for me. Hmmmppp. What does he know? Well, I suspect he knows much more about taking care of me than some bean counter up in DC.

This morning's news just about did me in. My favorite mint julep horse winner, Mine That Bird, will have to run the Preakness without Calvin? Such a team they made at the Julep Juice Race.
I hear that Calvin is going to do the proverbial "switching horses in the middle of the race' trick and ride that hot filly. I'm so torn about this. Being a gentile filly myself, I have to root for a gal as she runs this weekend. Of course, if I was being chased by a group of hot, sweaty stallions, I might giddy up pretty well. too. And what of Mine That Bird? Will he see Calvin and think "I must stay with him?" Or will he decide to punish him by taking on that filly? So many questions running around in my head. I guess I'll have to watch the race to see the answers.

In the meantime, I'm off to have a bowl of Druggios, you know, what we used to call Cheerios before our government decided it is an unapproved drug? Come on. Why, mothers have been giving Cheerios to their children for generations. Wait. Is that why our country is.......?

Miss Etta

Friday, May 1, 2009

Better Cry "Wolf", Er," Swine"

Have you been taking anytime to watch the newscasters wring their hands in glee as they use scare tactics on us? Why, I never!

That's right. I've never seen such a case of crying wolf, er, swine in my life. Is the world going to end on this influx of mild influenza? Oh my, it's a pandemic! Beware!

So, wash your hands. So, don't intentionally scare the generic population who blindly follow the talking heads. Oh, the horror of it all.

And here in Georgia, why, we had to go and import someone so we could be in on all the fun of being in the news our own selves. After there have been over 100 cases so far in a country with millions of people and one Mexican has died on American soil.

Will the spread continue? I 'spect so, but I will wash my hands often and then wash my parched throat with another swig of julep juice. After all, it seems to cure most of my ills.

Ms. Georgie

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Chicken Squawk on a Piggy Day

I was out yesterday doing my chicken thing. You know, the kind of mindless talk you have with some friends while you all just stand around and scratch the ground like a big group of chickens? The kind of talk where you can solve all the problems of the world? The kind of talk that just lets you vent your opinion? The kind of talk where you can just squawk and squawk? Yep, it was one of those days.

So many topics to consider this morning. The swine flu, which in truth is a type of human flu, has people so scared that now some folk are afraid to eat pork. I don't see that as a problem, as long as the pork is cooked. And then, there are the folks that say the Big Cheese in DC was conveniently in Mexico right before the breakout. Guess those folks in DC will be using this flu outbreak as their reason to protect us all from our own healthcare and mandate it.

And, then of course, there are the companies who are going in to panic mode. Can you believe it? I just heard of a local employer that will no allow handshakes or hugs. Course, I gotta wonder who has been doing the hugging anyway. Just thinking of having to hug some of the people I've worked with over the years is enough to give me body aches and chills.

And to top it off, there is now a group willing to pay the President something like $25 million for his original birth certificate. Why pay it to him? Why make him rich when all he craves is power? Why not offer it to someone, anyone, who can produce it? Why, there might be a long line from a certain town in an undisclosed location. Bet that money could go a long way for the shrine they are building.

Well, enough of my chicken talk. Enough of my squawking. Now, it's time to make some more julep syrup. Got a big day coming up soon and I've yet to study the horses.

Miss Etta

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Just Give Me One for the Road

I'm in love! From now on, I'll just need one of my julep juice drinks a day. I know you gals are probably wondering how can that be?

Well, my friends, let me share the good news with you. The world's largest mint julep cup, which incidentally holds something like 206 gallons of my favorite beverage, will be on display this year up at the big fancy dancy horse race in Kentucky.

Just imagine. Just one glass full and I'm set for the day. 'Course, I gotta wonder if how big the mint spring is on top of the glass. Think it's large enough for me to put a pool lounger in the top of the glass so I can just lean over to take my dainty sips? Heck, wonder if it's big enough for us all just to dive in and swim to our hearts are content?

From now on, I'll just have to decline a second julep juice and just say, "I'll take one for the road, please."

Miss Etta

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Don't Drink Tea, but I Loved the Parties

You know, I made the rounds of the Tea Parties the other day, and I
went as myself, even though I gave careful consideration to wearing a
mask on account of that report stating that the federal government
would be watching very closely and investigating us dissenters. Then I
decided, shoot, my finger prints are already in the system from when I
applied for my gun permit not so long ago, and now that i bank at a
nationalized financial institution, they have access to all my
financial information (not that they didn't already), so off I went in
my very own face. And yes, I smiled the whole time just in case they
were taking my picture.

I'm gonna' tell you what, when me and my 15,000 new best friends sang
the national anthem, why it just gave me goosebumps. (But, no, chills
did not run up and down my leg like they did on that fella who was
following Obama during the campaign said they did him whenever he
heard Obama speak.) (Don't that just beat all?)

But what really warmed my cockles was all those handmade signs bearing
multi-syllable words and expressing complex thoughts. Didn't see the
first one that just said "change" or "hope" or "change you can believe
in." Not the first one.

So all in all, it did my heart good. Let's just hope the momentum is
just beginning.

Till next time,
Miz Vul

My Cup Runneth Over

Three cheers for all the Tax Day Tea Parties. It seems like there was one on almost every street corner in America. Some estimates I've seen today say over 750,000 Americans participated in them. So, I guess that can be considered a movement. So, when will the news media cover them? Oh, that's right. They won't. Yeah, I heard of all the off color jokes told about the tea parties. Guess ya gotta make fun of what you're afraid of, eh?

From what I saw up close and personal and on the only news station brave enough to cover it, the protest against excessive government spending was quite dignified. From what I heard from the partygoers is the overwhelming sense of wanting to save our country. Wonder if anyone is listening?

You gals seen the latest and greatest silver cup unveiled for the tight lipped and proper sipping of our very own favorite mason jar julep juice yet? Why, I almost lost my teeth on the price of it. It's a thousand smackers. Can you believe it? Ok, so it's sterling silver and all. Hey, the good thing is the proceeds do go to help the permanently disabled jockeys.

Wonder if there's a silver plated mason jar that will go to help us gals when we become disabled due to all the heavy lifting of our jars? Maybe we'll end up qualifying for a bailout.

Miss Etta

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wincing with Every Bite

Tis tax day, my front porch friends. I've completed the awful chore of getting them ready and have even filed them. Gotta tell ya, it was like biting down on a lemon. It was sour and certainly not a pleasant experience.

I'll be interested to hear about all those Tax Day Tea Parties today. You think anyone will care to join us for a mason jar full of our very own delightful julep juice? Look for me. I'll be waving a tea bag and a mason jar at the same time.

Ms. Georgie

Friday, April 10, 2009

Well, Did You Ever

Well, girlfriends, when that ship captain being held hostage by
pirates in a life raft bailed out and started to swim like crazy
towards shore, he forgot one thing: Hillary and Obama are in charge.
Being one who lives and dies by the polls, Hillary didn't want to rush
into anything when word of the pirate takeover first got to her. No,
she had to start a focus group and get a "consensus from the
international community".

Can you BELIEVE that? Even if such a thing was POSSIBLE, who CARES
what the rest of the world thinks? It's not THEIR person sitting there
in the middle of the ocean with hoodlums.

But that was a few days (read listening groups) ago. Now she's got to
scratch all those and form a new one to decide whether or not we will
pay the pirates their requested ransom.

What do y'all bet that we not only pay them, we'll create a stimulus
package for them because OBVIOUSLY if they had sufficient means they
wouldn't resort to pirating. Bless their hearts. No, no, no: sit back
and let the U.S. government do the pirating for you. We'll probably
bring 'em on into this country and set them up in housing, send them
and their families to school, and provide free healthcare for the lot
of them. And so they won't have to go back to the dirty, dangerous,
tiring world of pirating, why don't we just put them to work building
some of those roads?

No, wait: these people have all the skill sets needed to make fine
financial market CEO's. And I hear Obama and Franks (the CEO's of all
CEO's) are hiring.

Oh, shoot. I need a julep now worse than ever.

Miz Vul

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

With Thoughts of Commemorating

Miss Etta,

Though I'm quite familiar with what some folks call The Kentucky Derby
(I call it Julep Celebration Day), I had not heard about that Celeste
Susany painting a picture. Huh.

Listen, I saw some silver mint julep cups over at Scott's last month.
I spect they were the real thing cause they were for sale for $169
each. When I saw the price tag, I put all 3 of them back on the shelf
VERY CAREFULLY. Shoot, I figure juleps taste just as good out of a
sweating mason jar as they would out of a sweating silver cup that has
to be polished every now and then.

You thinking we oughta see about commissioning somebody to at least
take our picture? We could call it Drinking Towards Destiny.

Just a thought.

Miz Vul

Seen Our Very Own Julep Bottle?

Whoopppeeee. Have you heard the news? We've become so very famous with our minty julep juice that a famous equine artist is going to depict us on a bottle!

No, wait. It's not exactly us, my swilling friends who love the minty fresh taste. It's, well, it's for the place where we got our little ole selves hooked.

What? Doncha remember when we all went up to see that big horse race in Kentucky? We wore such cute hats and had those wonderful Mint Juleps!

This year, in celebration of 22 years of the Mint Julep being the official drink at the Kentucky Derby, Celeste Susany has been commissioned for an an original oil painting of Churchill Downs. I've read the painting this year is called "Dueling Towards Destiny" and shows two horses racing towards the finish line with the cheering crowds and the Twin Spires in the background.

Did you know over 2 million of our fancy drinks have been served up there? I wonder how that compares with how many we serve ourselves? How do I love Julep Juice? Let me count the ways.

Miss Etta

Friday, April 3, 2009

So Much for Taste

There I was, just taking my mornin' constitutional walk and singin' one of my songs when I saw it. A huge tree just decided it couldn't take all the love shown to us from nature this last week, so down it went- Right into the roof of the new addition on the house. The addition was so new that the siding hadn't even been painted yet. Whew, I thought. How lucky for the homeowner.

I imagine the homeowner was counting the blessings when position of the tree was noted. After all, if the new addition hadn't been there, well, let's just say the owner probably would have woken up with a booming headache. Yep, that ole big tree would have gone smack dab down in the bedroom area.

Sometimes, my friends, I just have to wonder. Do we really note the times we are just saved by the skin of our teeth, or just think we're darn lucky?

Ah, now speaking of lucky, did you just happpen to see that Barbie has gone and gotten her own white hat with flowers for the running of the roses? Now, you know that I'm quite partial to the old gal. I just find one thing wrong with her derby outfit.

Yep, that's it. She has no mint julep!! Doesn't she know that the tradition of my favorite greenish drink is on the line here? Why, we must fix that at once!

And here I was, thinking that she had shown such taste over the years. Well, after she lost the extreme blue eyeshadow and all.


Miss Etta

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Gray Thoughts on a Rainy Day

I just can't believe it! Our sooooooo friendly-let's-stretch-out-a-hand-to-our-enemies leaders are thinking about letting the terrorists go free and then relocate them to our lands? This is because their own countries don't want them back? And then, our so-very-neighborly-so-very-friendly-new-residents will have to be supported by, um, us? Why, so they can plot their next moves?

Give me a break. Those detainees down there have no remorse, yet they may be free to live among us? My hair is all curled up in disbelief about this, and today, I can't blame it on the rain.

Is it ever gonna stop raining? The local creeks and now a river are either out of their banks or gonna be? Hey, is this nature's way of showing discontent over the decisions being made up north?

Don't take my word for it. Go to a great new site I found during all this rain-forced-me-inside-off-the-porch time, Living in Bizarro World, and read some comments and the story itself. Then, you too, will positively run to the store and get your julep juice makings. Could be we're in for some rough weather- not only from nature, but from the oh-so-friendly-we-love-everyone-but-our-own folks in Washington.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Happy Days are (Apparently) Here Again in Georgia

Well, girlfriends, I guess y'all are as tickled as I am to know that
things in Georgia are in such fine shape as to allow legislators to
focus on a resolution commending Mr. Obama for the fine job he's done
in his first 60 days. Forget unemployment. Forget financial deficits.
Forget foreclosures and job layoffs and plant closings and crime rates
and that we're entering the season when teenagers maim and kill while
driving too fast and/or under the influence. No need to bother about
trivial things like that when we've got a President who's been in
office for almost 2 months and still hasn't been properly invited to
be an honorary member of our little ole' state legislature's black
caucus. Where are our manners?

And there's apparently not enough to occupy our legislators because
when they didn't get their way, some of them just up and left. Walked
right on out the door, grumbling under their breath and stomping their
proverbial feet. Seems to me, we elected people to spend the first
three months of the year in Atlanta crafting and studying and passing
or rejecting bills that continue the principles we Georgians hold dear
and pledge allegiance to: wisdom, justice, and moderation.

Oh, fiddle-de-de. I think I'll quite worrying my pretty little head
about it and go fix me a julep. I mean, really: if the people we
elected aren't concerned with anything more than brownnosing the
President (perhaps in hopes of getting an invite to his next party),
why should I be?

Till next time,
Miz Vul

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Gonna buy me a gun. Or two.

I just finished watching a YouTube video of a CNN piece in February. They said that in November gun purchases went up 42% over the previous year. They also said that there is a shortage of ammunition and across the country gun shops have up to 11 month back orders on guns.

If you happen to own stock in any gun company you own one of the few that're actually making money.

I had to have some work done on our home alarm system the other day. The owner of the company was in the area so he came by to replace the defective piece himself. Just making conversation as I have always been taught to be polite and engaging, I asked "how's business?".

He said he couldn't keep up with demand, that is was better than it had ever been.

I was surprised for less than a split second. It makes sense. Everyone knows that the harder times get the higher crime goes.

Now the reason people are buying up all those guns right now isn't just because they think times are getting ready to get real dangerous, they're also scared of what our new President's administration is going to do about our guns.

See, when President Obama was a senator, he signed onto a bill that would have increased taxes on guns 500%. Others in his administration, namely Eric Holder, have spoken out against guns in ways that have a lot of people concerned about the future of gun ownership.

There's talk of numbering bullets. That's not really a bad idea if someone commits a crime with a gun and you want to figure out where the bullet came from you may think... but that would only work if you had to register every time you bought ammunition I'd think. I'd think the bad guys would just steal bullets. Can you imagine what the costs would be to put numbers on each and every little bullet? Whoa Nellie!

Another thing "they" talk about is putting some device in guns when they're manufactured that allows guns to be traced. Now I'm not sure if they're talking about a little chip or just what they're talking about, but again I think the cost would be astronomical. And anyone who thinks that the bad guys won't just be figuring out how to get rid of those devices real quick like is balmier than my Aunt Gladys.

I hear tell that Eric Holder doesn't like gun shows either. Which seems kind of silly to me as you still have to register the gun if you buy it at a gun show.

I don't happen to own any guns but I sure would like to for the first time in my life.

Oh, oh, I almost forgot to tell you! Because I write a blog and because I want a gun and because I consider myself to be a Patriot and because I have bumper stickers on my car, I could be on the government's watch list!

Yes, little old me could be considered a potential "domestic terrorist" or a militia member.

I'm so excited.

Another "tell" is that old "Don't Tread On Me" flag. You know, the one with the snake coiled up with the thirteen spots to signify the thirteen colonies that were in existence when it was thought up? I have decided to go out and buy a flag to put on my lawn so they'll know where to find me.

Well, I may joke about this, but in reality I find it rather scary that simply being patriotic and caring enough to write a blog could bring me to the eye of Big Brother.

All that I just talked about is in the government's "The Modern Militia Movement" info. I gather it was put out by the Missouri folks, so I'm not real sure if it's part of a national thing or just something they developed. I heard Glenn Beck talking about it and read an article or two about it, but none of them were real clear about who, what, when or where.

I guess I really don't rank yet though because wanting to buy a gun and actually owning a gun are very different.

Here are a few other things included in that 'signs you may be a member of the militia" booklet:

- writing about the Constitution (check)
- supporting third party candidates like Ron Paul or Bob Barr (not yet, but it our Republican politicians don't get their act together I might be willing to lean third-party_
- attending one of those tax protest tea parties (check)
- writing about taxes (check), North American Union (check), or illegal immigration (check)
- being a conservative Christian (check)

It is really scary when you think about it!

There are so many scary things going on in our country right now. Everything that is good seems to be under attack and I just feel so helpless to do anything about it. I am trying though which is why you all don't hear from me much and why I find so little time to sit on the porch these days.

Which reminds me of another good stock to own: alcohol companies. I have decided that right after I buy my guns, I'm going to start stockpiling every kind of booze I can find. If it gets really bad people the currency of alcohol will probably be better than that of gold don't you think?

Hope to talk soon ladies, I surely do miss you!

Miss Faye

Friday, March 20, 2009

Toastmasters (could come) to the Rescue

Hey Y'all,

I've had to take a break from listening to those fools in Washington.
The doctors have warned me to stay away on account of the way it
raises my blood pressure, even though the pharmaceutical companies
would undoubtedly be glad to have me as a regular user. Anyway, today
I couldn't stand it any longer, so I turned the radio on for just a
minute this morning, and I have to ask: have y'all heard that Robert
Gibbs speak? The White House Press Secretary can't seem to start a
sentence with anything but silence or a string of "ah's" and "um's".
It's nervewracking to listen to him. Makes him sound like a damn liar.
I am thinking of sending him a little message suggesting he join a
Toastmasters group that meets near him. They've got somebody at every
meeting who counts the "ah's" and "um's" and other fillers, and by
golly, they announce it at the end of the meeting. Then today he goes
and makes a wiseass comment about does anybody have a dollar so so-and-
so can go buy a paper to read the answer to his question. I, for one,
did not find that especially funny.

And don't even get me started about when the British Prime Minister
came to town and Obama was TOO TIRED to do it up right. The Obamas can
throw a party and serve $100/lb steaks and hire Earth, Wind, and Fire
to entertain and the Marine Band to play during breaks. They can have
game systems set up for all the children (you think those kids are
coached ahead of time to let the Obama girls win?) and adults alike,
but they can't follow protocol when the British Prime Minster comes to
call? Does that make sense to anybody?

Oh, and it gets better. This one just slays me: The President is
stressed. He's tired and stressed and surprised at how hard the job
is. Has the man ever looked at pictures of preceding presidents on
Inauguration Day and exit day? As Super Chicken always said to his
cohort when the whining and complaining set in, "You knew this job was
dangerous when you took it, Fred."

I've got to go have me a dose of blood pressure medicine and wash it
down with a mint julep or three. Then tomorrow I'm thinking about
going to get me one of those clicker thingies and start counting the
fillers that come out of that Press Secretary's mouth.

If I can stand to listen to the fool long enough. I've got my blood
pressure to watch, you know. I have never seen such a fiasco as we
have going on in Washington right now. They ought to be ashamed.

Talk to you later.

Miz Vul

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Is Barbie's Age the Issue?

Oh, come on. Can't you see why that silly government-yeah-I-only-do-what-I-was-sent-here-for maniac would want Barbie's head on the old chopping block?

She's gotten older, and well, let's face it. Her health may not be what it used to be and well, she may need to start using doctors for some things (unless she's been doing that somewhere else so her fans wouldn't know), and before you know it, she'll have used up all her health care benefits and Medicare may have to step in. With the proposed health care reform which would ration health care, well, Barbie would be on the short end of the stick with the rest of us who have passed the 50 year mark.

Fight Barbie, fight. Fight for your right to live free in America!

Miss Etta

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Barbie Turns 50 and Now Faces Being Killed by Lawmakers

Be still my heart! Some crazy coot in West Virginia (and yes, that is still a state in the United States) has submitted legislation to ban Barbie! Apparently, the coot who must not have ever, never played with GI Joe, thinks Barbie's beauty is just too much. He thinks her beauty takes away from her intelligence.

Give me a break. First, every, and I mean every, red blooded American girl and many across the world have played Barbie for 50 years! And, if you really look into her eyes and at her eye makeup from the earlier days, well, that didn't stop me from getting a college education. Nope. It didn't stop any of my friends from becoming business owners and Presidents of corporations. Shoot. In my day, Barbie used to take out Ken and GI Joe in one fatal blow.

Give me a break. You gals want to weigh in on this crazy scheme? I think it's just part of the overall conspiracy to end life as we know it. No Barbie? What is this world? Crazy? Hmm, think I'll pull out my Barbie boat and serve up some of my delicious glasses of julep juice. She's gonna need it when I tell her.

A Little Ownership Goes a Long, Long Way

'Morning friends,

Last night hubbie and I popped in a movie to complement our bedtime
juleps, and he chose "The Untouchables". I have to tell you girls, it
was quite discombobulating watching Eliott Ness bring down Al Capone
on charges of tax evasion. "Shoot," I said to the mister, "Capone was
just ahead of his time. Had he been living now, he would've just
written a check and gone on to assume a high level office in the
federal government."

My inquiring mind is on the loose again, and I'm wondering how so many
of Mr. Obama's "trusted allies" can whip out the checkbook and dash
off a check for tens of thousands of dollars. If they had the money in
their checking account all along, why didn't they just pay the damn
taxes when they were due?

This morning I read where Mr. Obama's team is going after Switzerland
for their long-standing policy of privacy. Gonna' make the Swiss
disclose names of Americans who have money in their banks. It's not
enough that the U.S. government keeps tabs on our deposits and
withdrawals here in our own country, now they are going global.

Now I realize that the Bank Secrecy Act of 1970 was enacted to expose
and deter money-laundering, and I realize that lots of lawbreakers
park their money in offshore banks and I'm all for punishing those who
commit illegal activity, but it does not escape my imagination that
the government (wouldn't be surprised if they soon require me to
capitalize that word) is trying to keep as much of our money as
possible in the United States. And it scares me to death to think
about the possible consequences of that - not for the lawbreakers, but
for law-abiding people who live beneath their means and happen to have
nest eggs they'd like to keep for and spend on themselves.

According to one news report on Yahoo.com, there's about $2.2 trillion
in Swiss banks, and though that's not nearly enough, I'm sure the
government realizes that it's an amount that would sure go a long way
towards keeping AIG afloat for another month or so or produce a few
automobiles or help build a super-road between Los Angeles and Las
Vegas or help a single mother raise 8 babies.

This guy Carl Levin from Michigan is leading the charge, calling for a
ban on so-called tax avoidance plans, and he has asked - of all people
- Timothy Geithner to talk to folks at the Group of 20 meeting in
April and get them on board. Tim Geithner, the new Treasury Secretary
who had to whip out his checkbook and pay back taxes (no penalties or
interest like the rest of us would've had to pay, mind you) on his way
into the confirmation hearings.

I declare, I might eventually be able to convince myself that
Geithner's experience with tax avoidance gives him credibility - but
only if the juleps don't run out.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

So, so frustrated with all the nincompoops

Well, first of all, hi ya'll. It has been a long time since I stopped in to chew the fat. I know, I know, that is not a proper phrase for a perpetually dieting kind of gal to use, but you all know me: if it pops into the ol' brain it's going out the mouth or onto the screen.

Now, down to business because I know you are wondering what nincompoops I'm referrin' to in that title. Some of you are wondering, but I believe my minty sisters will know exactly to whom I am referencing. Was that proper English? Oh well, just call it Missfayenglish and move on if it's not.

Nincompoops. Dummies. Stoooopid. Those idiots in Washington D.C. who are busily tearing down everything that is good about our America. Are they all drinking some special brand of kool-aid? Does our new President have some sort of hypnotic powers or is the media brainwashing every last one of them boys and girls up there?

Even miss-I-can't-balance-a-check-book-to-save-my-life knows you can't just keep reaching into the till to grab money, or in their case print money. There are just so many heads of lettuce that will grow in a patch before they become puny and worthless. You have to fertilize the soil and take some care with the basics.

These dummies are telling us we can have all the lettuce we want and they are forgetting you have to water the darned stuff and fertilize it and weed it and you know all the stuff you have to do to make things grow.

They are ignoring all our small businesses. They are fixing to tax us to shreds. Ya'll don't think that if they tax those people at the top that they're just going to sit back and take it do you? Don't you think that they'll just up their prices or fire a few folks or not build some new factory they were going to build? What's next? Is the government going to force people to stay in their jobs? Will they stop them from raising their prices?

We are getting ready to be just like Venezooayla or Cuba.

All you people with your hands out better take those hands and start using them to earn some money. You want me to pay your way you have another thing coming cause I'll just stop working and stick my hands out right along side yours. Then who's going to pay for your food?

You remember that book by Ayn Rand where all the people who work hard and are self sufficient just pick up themselves and go away? You don't think it can happen in this country? Take a look at history and you'll see that every time government gets too big for its britches and starts expecting people with brains and self respect to pay for those who like coasting along on coat tails, those smart people move somewhere else. Or they just quit.

I am so angry I could just spit nails except I know that pretty soon there won't be anyone who can make good nails and if I spit 'em out they'll tax 'em.

Wake up America before you lose what you keep saying you love about this country. Get off that couch, turn off the stupid television and do something to take care of your kids future.

Whew, that felt good. I have been wanting to have a rant rage for so, so long. If you think I'd done though, you are very wrong. I'm just getting started. Next time they have one of those tea parties, I'm going to be the one throwing big juicy wet teabags.

Miss Faye

Inquiring Mind on the Loose

My mama always warned me about people who talk out of both sides of
their mouth, and now we appear to have one living in the White House.
Did y'all hear him today, girls? In the midst of all his
bafoodletrigagillionmilzzilion stimulus/bailout/let's-save-America-by-
throwing-money-at-it plan - on the heel (it was just yesterday so I
don't consider that long enough to be plural heels) of AIG holding out
their tin cup again, shaking it in the direction of Washington, Mr.
Obama says that he doesn't pay any attention to Wall Street daily
gyrations, the implication being that business and government are
separate entities.

I'm so confused.

For months now, he's been jawing about how much money he's gonna'
throw at this big business and that big business, how much money he's
gonna' pass out to create jobs (none of it "pork", of course) and yet
he wants us to believe that he pays no attention to what Wall Street
does because that's business and he does government?

Government that already enjoys partial ownership in banks (which makes
me wonder if we, the taxpayers, are gonna' get dividend checks - what
do you think?). Government that will soon own equity in AIG.
Government that will soon be designing and rolling cars off the
assembly line.

The line's become blurred - more blurred than ever before - and I'm
wearing my new glasses, so it's not me.

And while I'm on a roll, I've got one more thing I want to get off my
chest (yes, Misses Etta and Faye, you're right: I have a lot more
things, but I'm running kinda' tight on time, so I'm only going for 2

The Democrats habitually employ class envy to gain votes. A page right
out of the ole divide-and-conquer playbook. Mr. Obama rides into
Washington wanting to/promising to level the playing field by taking
from those who have and giving to those who need (or in many cases
want), a page right out of the socialist playbook. Then what does he
do just as soon as he lands and gets his bags unpacked and his
pictures hung? He starts throwing parties like nobody's business.
Serving steaks as big as Texas and as expensive as California business
taxes. Hiring bands to stand right in front of the television and
entertain. Puttin' on the ritz, my mama called it, and I just want to
know why he couldn't take that money and dole it out to folks in need.
(Or want.)

This inquiring mind just wants to know.

And now back to my julep, already in progress . . .

Miz Vul

Monday, March 2, 2009

Honestly Naive?

What a fun day we had in our little area of heaven yesterday. Didcha see all those big snowflakes? Didcha go out and play in the snow?

It's way too cold for me to risk getting frostbite on my delicate little fingers and toes whilst I wait for my gossip group to show up on the front porch this morning. So, I've been watching some mindless television.

One of the topics I keep seeing is on the Octo-mom. You know, the young woman in California who had eight babies recently? Her attitude about having the babies kinda reminds me of the general spending views up in Washington right now.

This young woman keeps saying, "I get it." Guess she doesn't understand what is involved in adding eight children to her already big brood. Her reality doesn't appear to exist.

Just like the government. Sure, they get it. They know money is tight. They know times are tough. Their solution is just like the octo-mom's.

Just go on and spend taxpayer money to take care of all of our problems.

Goodness me. I've gotta go sip on my hard earned, non government provided, non taxpayer supported julep juice. At least I can honestly see and am not naive about what the future holds for all of us if Big Brother is the only way out.


Saturday, February 28, 2009

First Down, Fumbled Hail Mary, and A Flag On The . . . Oh, Whatever

Well, shoot. I missed the tea party.


Yes, Miss Etta, I used to go to the Rich's Tea Room, too, even though
I don't drink tea cause just the smell of it gives me a raging
headache. Raging, I tell you. Instead, I always had me a Co-Cola.
This, however, this is one tea party I fully intended to attend. I
knew about it, but somehow didn't pay close enough attention to the
date. How I missed that is beyond me. Too much going on around here, I

Or maybe one too many juleps.

No, too many juleps is simply not possible. Perish the thought.

Do you suppose they'll have another one any time soon? My first
protest march. I sure did want it to be themed. Oh well. I'm certain
there'll be another opportunity. There has to be because we cannot
stand for these plans that will lead us straight down the path to
bankrupt socialism. If we follow the plans I've been reading about,
we'll plow right through socialism much faster than we went through a

I've been wanting to conjure up a football analogy so the vast
majority of people would "get it", wake up and smell the stark,
dismal, empty-pocketed future. But as I googled football and watched
snippets of games on you tube, i realized that it didn't matter
because the vast majority of people are so completely, totally,
gobsmacked in love with Obama, not even a football analogy could get
through. Plus, let's face it: there are way too many people here today
who vote for a living and love nothing better than availing themselves
of class envy. So who am I kidding and why do I waste any more of my

Won't be long before I'll be stocking up on ingredients for juleps.
For now, though, I'll just imbibe what I already have on hand. I need
it after talking about this. I sure do.

Miz Vul

P.S. Did y'all see that bumper sticker that says "OBAMA: One Bad Ass
Mistake, America"? Though I think it's downright funny, I wouldn't
DARE put one on my car (and I've cautioned my junior juleps the same)
for fear of coming out to find that my car looking like one of those
fundraiser we used to have where you pay 50-cents for a chance to beat
up a car with a seriously big hammer. It's unfortunate, but it's just
the way it is today. And that, my dears, is what I'm gonna' talk about
that next time . . .

Friday, February 27, 2009

Tea in Downtown Atlanta Ain't What It Used to Be

Whoooeee, what a day! All the rain couldn't keep me down today. Nope. I had to rush right on up to Atlanta and wave my precious Luzianne tea bags for the Atlanta Tea Party. I am sick and tired of all the changes in Washington that are doing nothing but bankrupting my beloved country and my bank account.

Ya'll remember what going to tea used to mean in Atlanta? Why, we would take the bus downtown with our fancy dresses, shoes, hats and sparkling white gloves just to have tea at the downtown Rich's store.

Yep, times have changed. Everytime the President opens his mouth, I have to go get a big glass of julep juice. Heck, if he keeps tanking the market each and every time his mouth opens, I'm gonna run out of juleps!


Here's a link to one of the many stories just in case you didn't get to go your own selves.


Miss Etta

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Flunking Math

Miss Etta,

I have been thinking a lot of late about that famous (much-needed and
successful) historical Tea Party. Glad to hear there's a move afoot to
stage a sequel. Count me in. I'll wear my angry/fed-up/disgusted
American citizen clothes. Just need enough notice to be sure I have
time to wash them.

Girls, I'm gonna' tell you what: math is just not my favorite subject.
Therefore, I don't practice much. Therefore, I'm not especially good
at it. So maybe that's why I am totally confused and perplexed when I
hear Mr. Obama talk about this trimabajillion so-called stimulus
package in all its glorious wonderality then, in the same paragraph,
he assures us that by the end of his first term in office, he will
have reduced the nation's deficit by half. Huh? Can one of you
girlfriends explain that to me? Only thing I can figure is that he's
counting on jacking-up the taxes like nobody's business.

That or he can't remember that his first term is only 4 years.

Gonna' go fix me up a glass of julep and play a little bingo. With the
right size glass, I think I can manage all 4 cards quite nicely.

Till next time,

Miz Vul

You Have Your Tea, I'll Play Obama Bingo Tonight

Miss Etta,

You go on and enjoy that cup of nice hot steaming tea. I'm getting my playcards ready for Obama Bingo tonight. In case you haven't heard, you get a bingo card and get to try and fill in as many of his catch phrases you hear in the stump speechin' tonight.

Here's the link just in case you have a hankering to try it out your own self. Remember, this is for tonight only!!

Obama Bingo Night

Ms. Georgie

Tea, Anyone?

My, oh my. Have you seen the grassroots project that is all the rage right now? I saw just the other day on one of the Fayette Front Page columns that Rick Santelli stood up and said we should have a taxpayers' tea party? Well, in checking around today, his suggestion has now become a movement.

According to the sources I found today, there are Tea Parties already events planned in Chicago, Washington, DC, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Fort Myers, Orlando, Greenville, SC and cities across North Carolina.

Everyone of us learned about the Boston Tea Party while in school. Doncha remember the reason? The Tea Act was passed by the English Parliament which, in everyday terms, allowed the favored treatment of one company to sell their tea. Colonists were taxed heavily for this drink of choice and, in 1773, had just about had enough of Britain and its heavy taxation.

Last time, the angry American colonists dressed as Indians. Wonder who they will dress like this time? Angry American citizens?

Enjoy your day, my sweets. I'm off to have a nice hot cup of tea.

Miss Etta

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Susan B Anthony Turned 189 This Week, Her Ideas Still Young

Ladies, ladies. Hold the applause. Can you believe that it was 189 years ago this week that Susan B. Anthony was born? Wow. We have come a long way.

She was just so instrumental in her fight for women's rights. Yep, now we can vote while we wash the clothes. Yep, now we can work while we clean up after the kids.

Just in case you needed a daily dose of "thinker juice", here are a couple of quotes from that lady who was so ahead of her time.

"Guilty? Yes. No matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; but oh, thrice guilty is he who...drove her to the desperation which impelled her to the crime!"

-Susan B. Anthony, The Revolution, 1869 (on abortion)

"I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand."

"I shall earnestly and persistently continue to urge all women to the practical recognition of the old Revolutionary maxim. Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God."

Miss Etta

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Ah, Now I Know What Government Wants to Stimulate

Don't get all excited. Well, maybe you should go get a big ole glass of julep juice first. Cause guess what the folks up in Washington want to stimulate with their big ole fat juicy pork spending bill?

Are you ready? Are you sitting down Miz Vul and Georgie?

Reports are floating about that a Line Item contains $335 MILLION for adult sex workshops.

Combine that with the rumor today that Krispy Kreme may be having some severe financial issues.

Oh my goodness. Not only am I blushing terribly but now I have a craving for a nice hot Krispy Kreme donut. Anyone know where one is?

Miss Etta

Finally, I See the Plan for a Master

It just hit me, and hit me hard it did. You know I've been sitting and watching all the high powered folks in Washington that are only "yessir men" fawn all over themselves and their great ability to really put one over on the American public.

Well, ok, so I did make a few phone calls and sent some emails with my thoughts clearly stated to my representatives. Anyway--

With the alleged healthcare plan, or rather lack of any healthcare for the older or sick population, in the final bill (if it stays as is) comes the perfect way to end the housing shortage. After all, all those good Americans over the age of 50 (or wahtever age is determined to be old) will be deemed elderly and therefore, of no use to the new government. They get sick and wham-o, they can't be treated. So they die and there's all this nice housing available for anyone to poach, cause after all, we'll have redistributed all of the over 50 crowd wealth to everyone else.

Just wonder if all those high powered Washington types realize that they, too, are on that list to be euthanized by their own votes in the last week or so? Will the age have to be raised to 55 since the new pres is almost 50?

I wonder what will happen when the young healthy crowd who has so embraced the new regime realize that they, too, will have yearly birthdays and their chances of illness go up.

Me? I suspect I'll be given a nice green pill when I go to the doctor. And then... silence.

With that said, I'll go enjoy the sun today and plant some mint. After all, today I have my health and my freedom.

Georgie gal

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Depressing Times, uh, Depressing Events

Uh, did you listen to the President, uh, last night? Uh, did you hear him talk of uh, the depressing times, and, uh, depressing events for baseball? Uh, what happened to the confident man? Uh, the world ends in two minutes. Uh, uh, uh.

Friends of mine, I just couldn't believe my ears. Obama exuded confidence and was so eloquent when he campaigned. Last night, he sounded lame and spoke as well as a 6th grader who got caught smoking in the boys room. Unbelievable.

Now, this am, both sides of the aisle don't know how the mandated government decisions for your and my healthcare got in the bill? Excuse me? Why not? How is it that they don't know? How is it that they think the government should tell the doctors who and how to treat? Did the government go to medical school? Do they keep up with all advances? I just heard a Democratic Senator say that patients should not be treated for multiple problems. Unbelievable.

Obama was so right last night. These are depressing times. I best go refill my julep juice and get myself a bigger glass. I think I'm going to need it today.

You know, my ice cubes are about gone from last summer. I can't wait for the sun and some fresh mint to spring up in the garden.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Tee hee. Tee hee.

My little baby just came in with some schoolwork and I just have to share with you.

Question: A culprit is _____.
Answer: My baby said charming.

Guess my baby has been seeing too many politicians speaking lately.

Charming, isn't it?


Donations Accepted Right Here

Miss Etta, I think you have conjured-up a fine idea: let's all just
tell the government (or, as you more appropriately call them "those
high powered money spending fools") to go ahead and write us a check.
You're right: we can surely qualify for our fair share of that pork,
and do it at a reasonable enough price that we've got enough to spend
on barbecue sauce to boot.

And, as if that isn't enough, WE OURSELVES can take the tax write-off
for charitable donation.

I remember getting a letter from Coweta-Fayette, the local electric
duopoly, offering me the glorious opportunity to pay my bill each
month AND send in a little extra, too. They'd take that extra, add it
up with everybody else's extra, and dole it out to various charities
and whatnot. I wrote them a letter right back and told them I'd be
making my own selections about what and who to support. Why do I want
some electric company deciding who I help/support with my money? That
was several years ago. Well, this month didn't I get a bill for the
electric at our new house, and there it was: "round up" and an extra
charge. Though there wasn't any kind of sign next to it denoting an
explanation anywhere on the bill, I still combed through the words and
numbers carefully, finding not one single word of explanation. Just
the words and the charge. No cover letter, no explanation on the bill.
Well, don't you know that I called them right away and asked if that
was their sneaky little charge they collect then divvy up to those
they deem most in need, and the woman said "It's not sneaky, but yes,
we do collect that money then donate it to those in need" to which I
said, "When you add it to the bill as a lime item without any
explanation whatsoever, that is, too, sneaky, and I am perfectly
willing and capable to decide for myself who my money will help." She
said she took it off my bill, and I told her I wasn't paying this
month either and she said fine then.

When somebody I have no choice but to deal with tries to collect money
in such a sneaky way, I flatout blow a fuse. So yes, Miss Etta, let's
call 'em up and volunteer to take on the burden of policing and
tending to the world. I'm sick and tired of handing off my money to
high powered money spending fools who think I'm too stupid to (a)
decide where to spend my own money and (b) know that they're insulting

That's the way I see it. After a steady diet of mint juleps to help me
think about it, it's still the way I see it.

Till next time,
Miz Vul

Friday, February 6, 2009

Just Go On and Write Me a Check

I've been sitting here thinking while I have my daily dose of julep juice. Now I know you all will say that is a scary combination, but have no fear.

I've decided to get in touch with those high powered money spending fools up in the capital and tell them to go on and write me my check.

After all, I can go out and check the canals for all the contraceptives that the new sidewalk builders will be using. I bet you, too, can qualify for some of that porky money.

What was those song lyrics again? "I can bring home the bacon and put it in the pan."


Miss Etta

Continually in a dither...

Ever since I started realizin' that our beloved country was headed in a wrong, wrong, wrong direction I have been in a constant state of dither. I just do not know what to do these days.

It seems every time I turn on that old nasty television I hear things that scare me plum to death. Do these people not know what they are doing to us? They act like a billion dollars is what we used to call chump change.

As I typed the phrase "chump change" it came to me that I really did not know where the term came from or whether it was appropriate in the context I just used. For those who like to unravel mysteries and love little bits of trivia, here is what "The Word Detective" had to say about it:

"Chump" first appeared in English in the early 1700s meaning "lump of wood" (possibly from a melding of "chunk" and "lump"), and by the late 1880s had acquired its modern derogatory meaning of "blockhead" or "fool." The term "chump change" seems to have first appeared in the African-American community in the late 1960s with the meaning of "small change, a negligible amount of money." The sense of the term is "an amount of money only a chump would value; a trivial amount," as opposed to larger amounts of "real money."

Now, back to my dither tantrums.

A little over half of the people who bothered to vote last year voted for Mr. Obama. I won't quibble about whether the voting was honest and above-board, it is done and we're dealing with the spilt milk at this time.

Now, all those people who didn't vote and just under half of those who could, don't believe in change as defined by Mr. Obama. In fact, I would bet a brand new parasol that quite a few of those who DID happen to vote for Mr. Obama did not have the slightest little clue what he actually stood for.

So, when you put all those numbers into a hat and stir them up, he can not say that most Americans want his brand of change. I certainly do believe that if you took his personality and the surrounding hype away and had all voters take a test as to what they would like for our country, Mr. Obama's brand of change would lose.

For the first time in my life I am utterly scared about the future that is on the near horizon.

I am trying to do my every lovin' best to fire people up and get them to yell loud, but I am not even sure if anyone in Washington is listening or really cares these days. I think they are set on a path and have blinders stuck on both sides of their eyeballs and cotton balls in their ears.

Well, my ancestors, may they rest in solid peace and thank goodness they are not seeing this day, fought hard and long for our country. They risked their lives to fight for the freedoms we seem hell-bent on throwing away.

I will fight with the pen and with my words to preserve our country. I can only hope that there are enough of us out there with backbone and strength to do battle. I don't know if we will succeed, but I know I will go down fighting.

- Miss Faye

Hit the Road, Not the Pool

Goodness sakes alive. I don't know which has me more upset these days. Is it the weather? Is it the economy and the alleged rescue plan? Or is it the Michael Phelps fall from the pedestal?

I was shocked, yes, just plain out shocked when the photo appeared in which Phelps appears to be bonging it in South Carolina. I think he should be punished and I guess some others agree with me on that point.

I wonder if the law in South Carolina will try him on drug charges, or if that is just too much to ask. The Mr. tells me that Phelps could have been photoshopped in to the picture and that he could always say he had no "intention" of inhaling whatever was in that bong. (Seems like that argument is in vogue in Washington these days.) The Mr. thinks it's a no win situation for the law enforcers there.

On the other hand, I am so glad to hear this morning that Kellogg's has decided Phelps needs to come right of off of that cereal box. And I also hear that USA Swimming has banned him from even jumping up on the pedestal at the pool for three months. Personally, I think it should have been a minimum of 6 months.

At least, someone will try to get the message out to him that he made a BAD choice. That's right, Michael, come on off that pedestal for awhile. You're a champ when swimming but recent events make you less than desirable at our local pool.

Yall go on in now and warm up some.


Saturday, January 24, 2009

Off to an Interesting Start

Hey Misses Faye and Etta,

Did y'all know that on Obama's first day in office, only the White
House photographer was allowed to take pictures of Obama behind that
big ole desk of his? And later in the day, when he and whatzhisname
from the Supreme Court (the one who didn't bother to write the oath
down, the one who forgot that cockiness goes before embarrassment in
front of millions of people) redid the oath, they allowed only the
White House photographers to record it? The press was presented with a
single photo of each event and told that was all they were allowed to
use. Doesn't that just send chills up your back? Smacks of government-
owned/controlled media to me. Oh, they're as mad as a wet hen, those
media types. After all, they're the ones who played a major part in
getting Obama into that office in the first place, and now here he is
refusing to dance with the ones that brung him.

But then I read about how earlier this week the Obama folk sent a
pretty strong message via missile, so that gave me a whisper of hope
that he and his folk are not going to completely sell-out America to
all the highest bidder. Guess we'll just have to wait and see about
that, though, won't we girls? We sure are gonna' have a lot to talk

Gotta' scoot. Gonna' try to get me some of that TARP.

Till next time,
Miz Vul

Friday, January 23, 2009

What They Tryin' to Stimulate Again?

Did I hear it right? I was thunderstruck when I saw the video which says part of the Obama Administration Stimulation plan includes millions and millions of dollars for contraceptives.

Excuse me? I thought we were supposed to try and stimulate the economy. Did I hear it wrong?

Went back and checked. Nope, I heard it right.

Stimulate the economy with contraceptives. Yet again, I'm having a hard time understanding it all and I don't think it's the julep juice. Nope, I think the problem is with those who know what's better for me and my family than I do.

See ya later,

Miss Etta

Gimme Me Some TARP

Grab your juice and your sides, sit right on down and listen to this song. When it's done, you'll be humming along with the rest of us as we say "I Want Some TARP."


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inaugural Thought

Did you watch the inauguration on TV today? It seems like it was well seen everywhere. I do have a question that is causing my little ole pea brain some concern.

Is there a difference between "executing the office" and "faithfully executing the office"? Seems like the new President will be "executing the office (pause) faithfully."

Guess I'll grab a glass of julep juice and ponder on this some more.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Huge Bird in My Yard

My, oh my. Have you seen them? They are huge. And I mean, huge.

Let me catch my breath, take a sip of julep juice, and fan myself whilst I tell you of a true story.

I was out filling my bird feeder the other day, when all of a sudden, I thought I was under attack. There was a loud swish and several, huge, and I mean, huge birds up over my head. What were they? My first thought is they were overgrown hawks as I have several hawks back behind my house. My second thought is they were mutant hawks as they were just way too big.

I sat right down on the ground. watched and listened to the flapping of those huge (did I mention how big they were?) wings. Too big to be hawks, not the right size or shape to be my neighborhood blue heron.

My, goodness, they were Bald Eagles. That is the first time I have ever seen a bald eagle, and there it was in my own backyard.

I ran inside to get the camera, but by the time I got back outside, the majestic wonders were circling back behind my neighbor's house. I couldn't get a shot of those beauties, but I could still hear their wings just a flapping.

Just imagine, bald eagles spotted in Fayette County. I hope they will come back. I promise I won't shriek. And I'll try to get my very own picture of them.

Till later, my friends.


Monday, January 12, 2009

Don't You Be Talking About Me

Ever feel like you've been out of touch? Time has just zooming by and I've just realized I haven't had a good ole sit down and gossip session with my friends. I haven't meant to ignore you. I've just been preoccupied.

Preoccupied with being sick and preoccupied with moaning about the loss of my love. Yep, his birthday was just the other day and I know he would have fallen all over his blue suede shoes in love with me if he had just ever had the chance.

Been way too cold to sit on the porch and rock, so I guess we'll have to come back inside and make a special effort to stay in touch, and not just holler down the road.

Gotta go, my love is crooning "Are you lonesome tonight...."

Miss Etta P

Mint Julep Journal