Sunday, April 27, 2008

No gator tails, uh, tales...

No gater tales or tails, no gator-ade tales either. I wracked my little pea-brain trying to come up with something to contribute but nary a gator of any sort rose to the surface. If things go as they normally will, once we've exhausted gators I'll remember some outrageous tale from the nether regions of my mind.

Ah well.

As wet as it is this day I can easily envision gators wandering around yards, although this is more akin to salamander weather I think.

Do you remember those little tiny frogs that used to come out in the rain? There was a name for those little buggers but I'll be darned if I can remember. If the sun came out too fast we'd find them all dried up on the driveway. Seemed like there would be thousands of them hopping in the puddles sometimes. Now that I've remembered them, I'd surely like to know what they were called. I know we called them rain frogs, but there is another name of some sort. I will hop on over to Google and see if I can dredge it up.

What have ya'll been up to recently? I've been here and there enjoying life. Don't we live in such a beautiful world? Have you ever wondered if it's really that beautiful or if it's just something that we SEE as beautiful because we're accustomed to it? The old beauty is in the eye of the beholder thing. If we were raised on the moon would all these trees and water be ugly to us?

That reminded me of people's tastes in music. From country to country music is so completely different. What sounds like high-pitched screaming to me is beautiful to some in Asian cultures. I don't particularly care for much of the Hip Hop music that is so popular with some, but others love it.

Remember when you were growing up and "our" music was horrible to our parents? The music they listened to as youngsters was abhorrent to their parents.

As usual, my mind is skipping from one subject to another. It's like little firing pins just pinging away, sparking thoughts that may or may not be worth sharing! I used to drive my poor mama crazy yapping away about all kinds of nonsense. I have grown up just a bit and now I keep my mouth shut most days. For some reason when I start writing to my two Mint Julep friends in here some of the flitting, yammering, wide-spread thoughts come a tumbling.

Which reminds me of the time I bought a rock tumbler for my children. It lasted all of one day before I stuck it in a closet never to be pulled out. We were living in a small enough place that there was nowhere to put the noise-maker where we couldn't hear it. We did one batch and that was it. The kids didn't even complain. I mean, how could they after listening to the thing for so long?

We did make a few trips to pan for gold up in Dahlonega, Georgia. Rather easy to see through what they were doing, planting gems in piles of sand. But it entertained the kiddos and thrilled them to no end when they "found" a beauty.

Well, enough rambling for today, I think I might just take a stroll in the rain. I may just be a mite naughty and fix myself a bit of something interesting to drink. I know it may shock you, but I am not in the mood for a mint julep at this moment, I think something a bit more along the lines of a White Russian fits the mood, or maybe just a thimble of Bailey's.

I always enjoy sharing with you gals!
Miss Faye

In-house Sightings

Good grief, Miss Etta. That alligator story - the one in the lake in
north Georgia. Do you ever again swim in a body of water where you
couldn't see the bottom? Just gave me shivers thinking about how close
you've come to alligators who are supposed to be able to move
surprisingly fast when chasing food. Best to run serpentine, I've
always heard, when trying to escape a hungry gator.

My husband's parents had a house down Florida-way where lizards are
known to hang out in droves. When some of his daddy's people from
Pennsylvania spent a week down at that house in Florida, they left a
note on the table saying how much they'd enjoyed their stay and
apologizing for letting the "alligator bug" get inside for a short
while. Alligator bug. Lizard. Get it?

Funny you mentioned this woman who spotted the alligator in her
kitchen. Can you imagine? I sure do hope she was wearing some kind of
shoes. Shoes with good traction for running away.

My grandmother was TERRIFIED of lizards. Living in the country, it
wasn't at all unusual for one of them to come right on in her house,
and when they did, they were treated to pans of hot, boiling water
being tossed in their direction. I have no idea how she came up with
this idea of The Only Sensible Way To Get Rid Of Lizards, but let me
tell you: that woman would drench everything - and i do mean
EVERYTHING - without regard for ruin or cleanup. Drapes, bedspreads,
clothes, furniture, television - nothing was scared when a lizard came
to call. I can still see her standing in the middle of the bed, the
room around her looking like a steam-tornado had come through there.

And I never felt closer to my grandmother than I did last week when I
went to hang up some clothes after taking them out of the dryer. As I
hung them on the clothes rack, out skipped a lizard. I dropped those
clothes and bolted, instinctively heading for the kitchen where I had
every intention of boiling water to toss around. Fortunately, our
laundry room is upstairs, and by the time I got downstairs to the
kitchen, good sense took over. (That and the realization that I'd just
have created a mess that I'd have to clean up once the aforementioned
trespasser was gone.) I opted to just avoid the laundry room the rest
of the day. That night, when I went in to finish fetching the laundry,
I made LOTS of noise to alert the little trespasser of my arrival. I
looked at the hanger-upper rack: no lizard, and I was greatly relieved.

Now why on earth I thought the trespasser would stay in one place is
beyond me, but, as they say, hindsight (or in this case, hindthink) is
20/20. When I went to fetch a clothes hanger, I ALMOST TOUCHED THE
TRESPASSER who was hanging out on the clothes hangers. Makes me shiver
just to think about how close I came to making contact. Sheesh. Called
hubbie, who came up promptly and caught the unwanted visitor then
relocated him to his native territory - outdoors - where I imagine he
is regaling other alligator bugs with tales of this crazy womankind
who he spooked so mightily.

Yep, I just don't have a thing for reptiles, be they at the zoo, live
and in person, or on jewelry, boots, or pocketbooks.


Later girlfriends,
Miz Vul

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Gator Moments

I bet the lady who strolled into her kitchen just the other day to
get a fresh cup of coffee will entertain her family and friends for a
a long time as she recounts the 6 foot, 230 pound gator lounging on
the floor. I guess it was just hungry and decided the smell was just
right for breakfast. I wonder how he got in? It's not like they can
slide under the door. If I was that lady, I'd be sure to gator proof
the doors. Can you imagine the shock and horror, not to mention the
FEAR, when she saw that huge ancient reptilian animal in her
kitchen? What does one say in that situation? "Hey, wanna cup of
joe?" or "If I had known you were coming, I would have gotten you
some chicken?"

What I found really side splitting is the question by the 911
operator. "Are you sure it's not a big lizard?" Big lizard, indeed.
Most people who live in gator country don't have a problem telling a
lizard from a gator. I know I never had any problems with that when
I was down in gator country or at Georgia's Swampland in the south
part of the state.

I've got two personal gator encounters on the tip of my tongue. One
was down in south GA at the Okeefeenokee Swamp about 30 years ago.
We had gone to visit the swamp and learn more of nature. Well, you
know they've got these big gators down there that just kind of roam
around on their own. Roaming around with those beady eyes staring
intently on you. We watched some brain dead parents allow their two
young gator sized meal youngins taunt a big boy. And by big boy, I
don't mean one with two feet. No sir, it was about a 12 or 13 ft
menacing looking gator who was intent on watching the kids. Watching
and slowly stalking the kids. The kids were taunting, the gator was
slowing stalking, and the park rangers were standing there with their
guns on their hips. Well, daddy and my brother's wife were watching
this free show while the rest of us were in the snake house learning
about how dangerous those slithery critters can be.

Meanwhile, the park rangers were trying to get the gator's attention
off of the youngins. Daddy decided it might be best if he and sister-
by-marriage crossed over the bridge to the side where the gator
wasn't. He thought it might be a little safer over there. After
they crossed the bridge, the mightily relieved sweating sister-by-
marriage said she was glad to put some distance between them and the
gator. Daddy, of course, said, "I already did that." When she
looked confused, he continued, "Didn't you notice that I put you
between the gator and me?"

What happened to that gator on that particular day? The park finally
convinced the brain dead parents that the ignoramus youngins had to
leave the area and then the rangers successfully got the gator back
to where they wanted him. We did hear later that the big boy had to
be put down since he was becoming too aggressive with the paying
customers to the swamp. Guess, that would be bad for business and all.

Another gator story that happened a little further north in
Georgia--- still about 30 years ago. There was a state park where
we used to go camping. That was in the days when daddy could
actually get away from the phone. No cell phones, doncha know. We
were camping and had our canoe with us. Daddy and I had taken our
poodle, the one named Killer, on the canoe for a ride and. later, a
swim. The park rangers came upon us on the water. They suggested we
leave the water immediately. Why? Clear blue skies. We weren't
breaking any laws.

It seems as if the original owner of the lake had gone down to
Florida and bought some baby gators back. He stocked his lake with
gators as an effort to keep the locals from trespassing on his land
and fishing in the lake. Now, I don't know when the state acquired
the lake and surrounding area for a state park, however, i do know
the state couldn't touch those gators. Something about endangered
species and all. So, there were these gators between 8-14 feet just
patrolling the lake. Since small dogs are known to be gator bait,
the rangers had us leave the lake. They just didn't want us to
attract the gators and have us end up being their dinner.

We did leave the water, and we did see the gators on shore as we were
heading back to land. I was so upset that we ended up leaving the
waterfront campsite we had. Something about gators visiting us for
dinner, guests or otherwise, made us all a little nervous. The
rangers came by later to tell us they had herded the gators back up
to the north end of the lake.

Now, I wonder HOW did they do that? How does one herd a gator? How
does one get a gator's attention off his intended meal?

I still think they look their best when I'm carrying them on my arm
stuffed with my personal stuff. I think that's a better stuffing for

Enjoy this beautiful weather! I haven't heard of gator hunting
around these parts, have you?

Till later,
Miss Etta

Friday, April 18, 2008

What a glorious day... for an apology, a real apology

Oh, it is such a gloriously beautiful day today! All I want to do is bask in the sunshine, play in the garden or walk in the woods. However, I have decided to be a good girl and write to my Mint Julep sisters! Yes, I know, it is about darn time isn't it?

Well, I have been off gallivanting. I suppose someday I'll break down and get one of those contraptions that allows you to communicate with anyone at any time, but that time is not yet here.

I was struck by Miz Vul's comments on apologies. I have a very big pet peeve when it comes to apologies. Don't you hate it when someone apologizes by saying "I deeply regret if anything I have done offended anyone" or "I apologize if my statements caused anyone harm" or some variation? They neglect to apologize for what they did, they're just saying they're sorry that you are so dumb that it bothered you.

They obviously feel not the first bit of regret for their actions. They take no responsibility for what they've done.

What really steams me is that people buy it. How many politicians apologize in that manner? Most of them.

We seem to be living in a society that does not believe in consequences for inappropriate actions. It is as though the word "sorry" rolling off the tongue absolves a person. How many times have you heard someone say "well, he / she apologized"? If someone acts sincere enough in their so-called apology the world is willing to give them a pass. Ha!

Oh, and what about those who include an excuse in their apology? My hair fell flat and the hem raveled on my dress, so when I trashed your reputation, I was just having a bad day? I am so sorry I was nasty, my dog dies three years ago and I'm still in mourning? I came from a single parent home and it scarred me for life, thus I continue to do and say horrible things, but I am just as sorry as I can be each time I slip?

I don't know about you gals, but if you are truly contrite you change your ways, you make sincere amends and you eat a bit of crow.

You will note that I have not apologized for not writing for the past while. I have every intention of changing my ways, but I am not sure enough of the fact to offer an apology.

You all have a wonderful weekend and go out and enjoy the sunshine while it is here! Not only does it feel good, it is good for you.

Miss Faye
(now don't go having a heart attack just because I am actually writing)

Thursday, April 17, 2008

From My Recipe Book

This morning, girls, I've got recipes on my mind. Here's what we're
having for supper:

l. Take an onion, peel the sucker, and cut it in half. Place the 2
halves in the bottom of that crockpot you finally washed.
2. Go post yet another sticky note to yourself to buy one of those
newer crockpots that can be washed in the dishwasher. Sigh and get
over the fact that lucky you just happened to get the one well-built
crockpot that, like some rumors, is just never gonna' die.
3. Place a pork roast on top of the onion halves, add a little bit of
water, put the lid on the crockpot, plug it in, turn it on low, and go
about your business.
4. When you're ready to eat, take the roast out and pull it apart with
a coupla forks, kinda' like you're shredding it, dontcha know. Serve
with your favorite barbecue sauce and a side of waldorf salad.

Preparation time: 4.12 minutes - and that includes the sticky note step.


I've also been thinking of late about a recipe for apologies:

1. Say what you're sorry for, then hush. Zip it. Be quiet.
2. Make sure your apology does NOT contain the word "but". "But" is an
eraser that eliminates everything before it, and once you stick that
little ole' bitty word into an apology, you go from apologizing to
defending your position. Not the same thing. Not at all.
3. When eating crow, remember that it goes down better with a heapin'
helpin' of sincerity. Apologize sincerely then get on with it and try
your deadlevel best to not have to repeat that particular apology.

That's what I'm thinking about this morning, girlfriends. Hope y'all
are doing swell and not sneezing too much.

Miz Vul

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Pollen Clouds and Yalla Cars

O Friends of mine,

Been enjoying the scenery? Riding around under all the Cherry Trees
and Dogwood Trees while they are in full bloom just makes me bloom.
Why, I sometimes just have to stop the car and cast adoring looks to
the trees. I love it. I praise God evvveeeerrrry time I see the
splendor of the blossoms. It's beautiful, it's... ahhhhh choooooo.

When I was growing up, my mama always insisted to having a light or
yalla car. I found the color boring until the spring time. At that
time, when the pollen was out and about in all its glory, we had a
car that looked clean. Yep, the pollen didn't even bother the color
of the car. We used to just laugh and laugh at all the people who
had those screaming yalla embossed cars.

Of course, having a white or yalla car is a good thing when you
happen to live in kaolin country. All that white chalk dust blowing
around. Gets on everything. Kaolin or "white gold" settles on
everything all year around. Dark cars and kaolin mines just don't go
hand in hand. You gals know much about white gold? I have some in my
garage from the last time I went down to kaolin country and took the
kids to see a bonafide kaolin mine. We went right on down into one of
them and had the owner of the land tell us about the operation.

Speaking of swirling clouds, when I was driving home on Friday, I got
caught up in a pollen cloud. It was downright eerie. Everything was
yalla and swirling around. We rolled up the windows to the car cause
I didn't want it in the car. It was like we had on yalla
sunglasses. And then the rains came. Thank you!!! I can't wait to
get back out today and see how all the blossoms look today. I bet
they are holding their little petals up high now that they had a
really good bath. You know, after it rains, I swear I can see the
trees, flowers and all things green stand up tall and thank the
Creator. How 'bout you?

Till later,
Miss Etta

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Shades of Green

Hey girls,

Are y'all feeling the effects of the POLLEN? I declare: on the rare
occasion I have to venture out, there's so much pollen in the air, it
looks like somebody's cutting their dirt. I'm relatively new to
allergies, and this is no fun. No fun at all. While all around me I
see signs of life budding, hear about people who are clearing out and
feeling all rejuvenated, it's all I can do to drag my own self from
the bed to the sofa and back to the bed. And every time I swallow, my
right ear sounds like somebody's taking a plunger to it.

I haven't even had the t.v. on while laying around in my pollen-
infested state, so I don't know anything I can comment on. Hubbie did
send me an email the other day about some fella who says Hillary has
been a liar for a long time.

Like that's big news.

How you girls faring out there in our yellowish-green world?

Miz Vul

Mint Julep Journal