Well, Did You Ever

Well, girlfriends, when that ship captain being held hostage by
pirates in a life raft bailed out and started to swim like crazy
towards shore, he forgot one thing: Hillary and Obama are in charge.
Being one who lives and dies by the polls, Hillary didn't want to rush
into anything when word of the pirate takeover first got to her. No,
she had to start a focus group and get a "consensus from the
international community".

Can you BELIEVE that? Even if such a thing was POSSIBLE, who CARES
what the rest of the world thinks? It's not THEIR person sitting there
in the middle of the ocean with hoodlums.

But that was a few days (read listening groups) ago. Now she's got to
scratch all those and form a new one to decide whether or not we will
pay the pirates their requested ransom.

What do y'all bet that we not only pay them, we'll create a stimulus
package for them because OBVIOUSLY if they had sufficient means they
wouldn't resort to pirating. Bless their hearts. No, no, no: sit back
and let the U.S. government do the pirating for you. We'll probably
bring 'em on into this country and set them up in housing, send them
and their families to school, and provide free healthcare for the lot
of them. And so they won't have to go back to the dirty, dangerous,
tiring world of pirating, why don't we just put them to work building
some of those roads?

No, wait: these people have all the skill sets needed to make fine
financial market CEO's. And I hear Obama and Franks (the CEO's of all
CEO's) are hiring.

Oh, shoot. I need a julep now worse than ever.

Miz Vul