Here's a Theory For Ya!

Got it gals. The most postitively best conspiracy theory to propose. All you have to do is look at the headlines and it should pop out to you like it did to me. Ok, I admit it. It became obvious after I filled up my julep juice cup this morning while I was waiting for you friends to show up on the porch.

Ready?

Mandatory Swine Flu Vaccine Found to be Contaminated with Mind Numbing Drugs

That's just so you don't have to worry your little ole common folk brains about what's going on around you with job losses, higher taxes, health care reform, etc. Just let the elected elite take care of you.

See ya,

Ms. Georgie

Did Obama Say We Should Kill the Old Folks to Save Money Last Night?

Friends of the Front Porch Swing,

Didn't I tell you recently that I thought the government would soon be stooping down and figuring out when was the best age and time to put us down so we can push up daisies for a living? If you watched the dog and pony show last night, then you heard it live. If you didn't, then I've found an article for you to read.

Oh- the enlightened one also enlightened us on his personal belief of his health plan for his family. He wouldn't use it. So, would members of Congress have to use it or would they be deemed too important?

Read the story here: Did Obama Say We Should Kill the Old Folks to Save Money Last Night?

Taxing Thoughts

My, oh my, oh my. All the news lately has been just so distressing to me. How have you been taking it all?

First, there is chatter that our beloved free country might soon not be allowed to express our thoughts freely. Hmm. I kinda thought the first amendment in our country's Constitution addressed that. But no, it would appear that our great (cough) thinkers up in DC know so much more about mind control and what free thinking or speaking might do to a public mind.

And, then our wonder kids up there are proposing taxing sugar drinks like soda. My goodness. What will we do? Will that tax apply just to sugery drinks? If so, I should be safe as I only drink the carbonated non-sugary kinds. But just in case, I might have to go and stock up on my favorite type of caffeine fix.

And lest we forget, they now want to offer free healthcare to all and have all the taxpayers ante up the money. Sounds like a scam to me. I'm getting decent healthcare, even if my old doc thinks that julep juice is not quite healthy for me. Hmmmppp. What does he know? Well, I suspect he knows much more about taking care of me than some bean counter up in DC.

This morning's news just about did me in. My favorite mint julep horse winner, Mine That Bird, will have to run the Preakness without Calvin? Such a team they made at the Julep Juice Race.
I hear that Calvin is going to do the proverbial "switching horses in the middle of the race' trick and ride that hot filly. I'm so torn about this. Being a gentile filly myself, I have to root for a gal as she runs this weekend. Of course, if I was being chased by a group of hot, sweaty stallions, I might giddy up pretty well. too. And what of Mine That Bird? Will he see Calvin and think "I must stay with him?" Or will he decide to punish him by taking on that filly? So many questions running around in my head. I guess I'll have to watch the race to see the answers.

In the meantime, I'm off to have a bowl of Druggios, you know, what we used to call Cheerios before our government decided it is an unapproved drug? Come on. Why, mothers have been giving Cheerios to their children for generations. Wait. Is that why our country is.......?

Cheerio-
Miss Etta

Is Barbie's Age the Issue?

Oh, come on. Can't you see why that silly government-yeah-I-only-do-what-I-was-sent-here-for maniac would want Barbie's head on the old chopping block?

She's gotten older, and well, let's face it. Her health may not be what it used to be and well, she may need to start using doctors for some things (unless she's been doing that somewhere else so her fans wouldn't know), and before you know it, she'll have used up all her health care benefits and Medicare may have to step in. With the proposed health care reform which would ration health care, well, Barbie would be on the short end of the stick with the rest of us who have passed the 50 year mark.

Fight Barbie, fight. Fight for your right to live free in America!

Miss Etta