Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Depends on What You Think You Know or Saw

Oh be still my panting breath and rapidly beating heart! You just aren't going to believe this. But I bet you will find it amusing.

There I was, being a good neighbor and all, when I strolled over to collect my neighbor's mail and put it in the house for them. You see, they've been out of town and I've been watching the place from my spot on the front porch. I don't have to watch at night since they've got a house sitter for the night.

I've gone over for the past several days to check on things and to let their little puppies out for the call of the wild. Well, there's something wild going on over in those parts and it's not the puppies.

Yesterday, I found all these clothes scattered over the floor. This aroused my curiosity, but then I thought that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone in the house. So I made lots of noise with the puppies and noticed the hot tub cover was open with more clothes on the side. Ok. So, the house sitter is messy. No problem for me as sometimes I don't pick up my clothes everyday either.

Then, today. Today. Well, I saw something that no good God fearing woman should ever have to see. I picked up the mail and put the key in the lock. The lock just wasn't doing its thing, so there I was, just trying to make it work. The little puppies were crazily barking.

Hmmm, I thought as I looked in the window. There's a big wine bottle on the counter. Hmmm, I thought. There's a big spill on the kitchen floor. Hmmmm, I saw the call of the wild.

It was a naked, yes, naked man who strolled in to the kitchen to see why the puppies were barking. Now, Ms Faye, I know you would have gotten a big ole grin on your face and perhaps even invited yourself in for a look see.

Let me tell you. It would have taken a microscope to see what was out and about in that room. So, I did the polite thing. I took the key out the door, put the mail back in the box, and scooted on home so I could pour me a double mint julep.

Now the dilemma is whether I tell my neighbor of the shenanigans going on in her absence. Do I just tell her that everything looked ok and that her house sitter seemed to be on top of everything? Or do I ask for the definition of "everything ok"? You know, just like President Clinton really needed to know the definition of "is" and President Obama really needs the definition of "tax"?

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