Donations Accepted Right Here

Miss Etta, I think you have conjured-up a fine idea: let's all just
tell the government (or, as you more appropriately call them "those
high powered money spending fools") to go ahead and write us a check.
You're right: we can surely qualify for our fair share of that pork,
and do it at a reasonable enough price that we've got enough to spend
on barbecue sauce to boot.

And, as if that isn't enough, WE OURSELVES can take the tax write-off
for charitable donation.

I remember getting a letter from Coweta-Fayette, the local electric
duopoly, offering me the glorious opportunity to pay my bill each
month AND send in a little extra, too. They'd take that extra, add it
up with everybody else's extra, and dole it out to various charities
and whatnot. I wrote them a letter right back and told them I'd be
making my own selections about what and who to support. Why do I want
some electric company deciding who I help/support with my money? That
was several years ago. Well, this month didn't I get a bill for the
electric at our new house, and there it was: "round up" and an extra
charge. Though there wasn't any kind of sign next to it denoting an
explanation anywhere on the bill, I still combed through the words and
numbers carefully, finding not one single word of explanation. Just
the words and the charge. No cover letter, no explanation on the bill.
Well, don't you know that I called them right away and asked if that
was their sneaky little charge they collect then divvy up to those
they deem most in need, and the woman said "It's not sneaky, but yes,
we do collect that money then donate it to those in need" to which I
said, "When you add it to the bill as a lime item without any
explanation whatsoever, that is, too, sneaky, and I am perfectly
willing and capable to decide for myself who my money will help." She
said she took it off my bill, and I told her I wasn't paying this
month either and she said fine then.

When somebody I have no choice but to deal with tries to collect money
in such a sneaky way, I flatout blow a fuse. So yes, Miss Etta, let's
call 'em up and volunteer to take on the burden of policing and
tending to the world. I'm sick and tired of handing off my money to
high powered money spending fools who think I'm too stupid to (a)
decide where to spend my own money and (b) know that they're insulting
me.

That's the way I see it. After a steady diet of mint juleps to help me
think about it, it's still the way I see it.

Till next time,
Miz Vul