Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Not coming out of the closet.

Miss Etta, I do not do returns. At least not if there are lines. Or if the thing in question makes it out of the vehicle into the house.

I have told the tale before of my closet of unwanted gifts. I also have pending returns in that closet. In truth, I now have more than one closet of unwanted gifts and returns. That was one of my fears when visiting family went in search of toilet paper. What if I had neglected to pull out one of their past gifts from the walk-in bathroom closet?

I swear I have good intentions when it comes to returning items. Somehow the bag slips further and further, deeper and deeper into the closet and in most cases it never sees the light of day until... it's Christmas or time for someone's birthday. Then perhaps I will remember that shirt I neglected to return or those shoes that didn't quite fit right to see if I can pass them on to someone who will enjoy whatever it might be. Or at least fit into whatever it might be.

This Christmas I pulled out a stack of t-shirts I bought four, maybe five years ago. I over-bought for an event and rather than return the t-shirts, which were too small for me to wear, I put them in the closet to be returned at a later date. They made a very nice last-minute gift for a nephew.

I had a delightful Christmas. Unfortunately, I have a new gift or two that will be going into the closet, never to come out. I do believe one of my distant relatives passed on a gift she did not want. I can not see that anyone would want it and I will not describe it in the event that she might someday read this journal. Quite possibly I am wrong and she actually thought I might like the item. Someone made it, thus someone must have thought someone would buy it.

I now wonder what kind of person my relative thinks I am. I shall have to closely examine my wardrobe and accessories to review the image I portray.

Miss Etta, I am glad you survived the return wars. I am so very sorry that you will have to venture out again. I have a few things that have not passed the return expiration dates. Since you are so brave, might I talk you into returning my items for me?

In the event you think I am serious... I could be.

Wishing you a wonderful new year and many HAPPY returns!
Miss Faye

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