Wednesday, January 16, 2008

So Glad To Be Here

Well, Misses Faye and Etta, aren't y'all the sweetest things? I sure do 'preciate that invitation. Just add another straw to that mint julep and scoot over cause I think I'll just take you up on it and come sit a spell on your v-porch.

As long as I don't wear out my welcome, that is.

Y'all sure are right about talent right here in our own backyard. Why just look at the Fayette Front Page. All those people doing all those talented things.

And it's nothing new to this area, either. Why this patch of red dirt we call home has been talented upon more times than I can count.

Take this one boy named B. W. Mersk. He hung around between second and third base on the school playground, leaning up against the little fence that surrounded the cesspool, separating it from the kickball field. Somebody'd really get their foot into a ball, and whoosh. That red school-issue ball would sail right over everybody's heads and thunk right into the cesspool. Quick as a flash, B. W. went wading in, treading where none of the rest of us dared to go. He'd fetch the ball, get back outside the fence, shake himself off pretty good, then roll the ball back to the pitcher and go on back to leaning and waiting on the next pretty good kicker to step up to the plate. That right there was what I call useful talent. Anybody who could go that close to the cesspool - let alone inside it - and not gag. Uh huh.

Now I got a husband who can tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue. And not even open his mouth too much. I been thinking about hiring him out for parties and such. He's a right outgoing type, and a little bit of pin money never hurt any of us. You know what I mean?

Got another relative who can lay down on the piano bench - her head close to the keyboard - raise her arms up over her face to the keyboard, cross 'em, and play the piano.

She really can.

Can play all sorts of tunes like that. That's not just talent - that's a nimble brain, too, dontchaknow.

Then there's my uncle who can make a dollar go further than from here to Australia and back. But I guess that's delving into a different column - one that's called something other than talent.

At least to hear his family talk, it is.

Ummm hmmmm.

Why just look at you and Miss Etta. All the talent that veritably flies right outta your fingertips daily. Y'all sling these words and thoughts together like nobody's business, and I'm here to tell you: that's talent.

Yes it is.

You are so right, Miss Faye: we don't have to trek all the way out to California to find talent. No, we sure don't.

But I tell you what: if you want to step outside our backyard via the internet, give this little nugget a listen:

It's a chorus of crickets singing.

I kid you not.

Somebody with way too much time on their hands, recorded crickets THEN, as if that wasn't enough, slowed the recording down to match "the length of the average lifespan of a human being".

Don't ask me how they did that 'cause I do NOT do math.

It's a selection right outta nature's talent show. And it could still be local talent 'cause for all we know, those crickets were performing on this red soil we call home. Could be. It sure could be.

Gotta' run. Y'all stay warm now, ya' hear. And thanks again for inviting me to your v-porch. We're gonna' have a mighty fine time. I just know we are.

Till next time,

Miz Vul

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