Monday, January 21, 2008

Mostly Monikering This Morning

Mornin' Miss Faye and Miss Etta,


Did y'all miss me? I've been looking for my yoga dvd. Bought me a new yoga dvd a coupla weeks ago - an am/pm program with 20 minutes of yoga at both ends of the day. I thought I could handle that all right. Well, I paid for it, brought it home, and promptly lost it. I have torn this house up looking for it. Finally found that little stinker this morning, and now I'm so tired, I'm gonna' have to go take a nap to rest up before I start yogaing.

Y'all crack me up with these names, though. I tell you what, Miss Faye, I think I'm gonna' start calling you Totl - Trouble on Two Legs. That's a good one. And a teensy weensy little ole' mini-poodle named Killer? That's another good one, Miss Etta. Being as how I'm fully into multi-tasking, your practice of using a dog's kneecaps as measuring stick for when to call the plumber really does appeal to me. I sure do hope neither one of you had busted pipes this weekend, but Miss Etta, if you did, I hope you had a kind soul like that manager-girl you had in Doraville to take such good care of you. They got you all fixed-up before you ever got back home. How 'bout that? Probably even dried off Killer's little ole' legs, too.

Talking about names, though: my mama always swore that she was named after her daddy's favorite mule. She knew it. She just knew it. (And I have to say that one of her brothers - the baby one - swears there was enough evidence in Mama's behavior to give credence to her speculation of being named after a mule.) (Little brothers tend to have a keen eye for things like this, I'm told.) But anyway, for one of her big-girl birthdays, Mama stopped by to see her daddy on her way to work. Her daddy gave her the usual birthday apple, birthday bill (of the green, $100 variety), then looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Now I know you've always thought I named you after my favorite mule, but listen here, that's just not true. I actually named you after my mama. But if you want to keep on believing that I named you after my mule, let me tell you what: that was the best damn mule I ever did have."

Did y'all have enough to eat this weekend? Mr. Vul and I trotted over to the grocery store Saturday morning, and while everybody stood in line for the rapidly disappearing milk and bread, we stocked up on winter storm provisions Vul-style: vegetables for soup; fixin's for cornbread; Miss Debbie chocolate snack wafers; and boiled peanuts. We fared fine. Just fine.

Y'all have a fine day now, ya' hear.

Till next time,

Miz Vul

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