Shades of Red

Well, girls, I sure can understand how we got from talking about
politics to talking about toilet paper! That's a logical progression
if ever there was one.

Miss Etta, I never did have one of those cozys (or would that be
cozies) - not as a child, not as an adult, but I know what you're
talking about. I've seen them. Talking about toilet paper, I sure do
hate buying it. Do y'all? It just drives me crazy. So tedious doing
all that math, dividing the number of rolls in the package into the
price of the package to figure out which is the best buy. Then how to
factor in things like ply and length on a roll. Yes ma'am, I sure can
cause a backup in the toilet paper aisle.

Speaking of politics . . . did y'all see O'Bama trying to pull the
chair out for Hillary at the end of last night's debate? Wasn't that
a hoot? I can just imagine what that woman was thinking, and it
involves a lot of symbols like ### and *** and @@@. First she wants
to be treated like one of the guys. Then she whines cause they're
being mean to her cause she's a girl. But I'll just betcha she did
NOT appreciate O'Bama's gentlemanly ways.

And I have to admit that I'm kinda' a pick-and-choose girl myself.
There are times I want to be treated "like a lady", and there are
other times when it makes me madder than a wet hen. Sometimes it
feels like respect, sometimes it feels like condescension. I think
that's the thing. My husband is one of The Most Supportive People
Around, but I tell you what: when he grabs my elbow to "help" me
walk, oh boy look out. Now he knows I have what we could legitimately
call "bad eyes" - not much in the depth perception department (which
makes stairs hazardous) and not much in the nighttime vision
department (which makes driving at night rather hazardous for me and
everybody else who happens to be out). He and my monkeykids are bad
to tell me to "Step up" or "Step down" when there's not a stair in
sight - and that's okay 'cause it's all done in fun (and it hasn't
killed me yet). But let him grab my elbow and I feel like I'm some
old woman being helped across the street by a boy scout. Ugh.

I've got a Yankee nephew-in-law who's quit his job to stump for
O'Bama in South Carolina and Virginia. He's absolutely adorable, but
don't you KNOW the people in those fine Southern states just LOVE
being told how they ought to vote by somebody from up north???? I
bete they can't even understand what he's saying. I know I can't
understand him half the time, youse guys.

We go vote soon, don't we? I gotta' hurry up and decide who I'm
gonna' punch.

In the ballot booth, I mean.

Y'all wearing your red today? It's an effort to bring awareness to
heart problems in women. (Heart problems of the physiological kind,
of course, not the stand-by-your-man-even-if-your-heart-is-breaking-
slap-in-two variety.) Women are bad to keep going - regardless of the
pain and discomfort - and sometimes that perseverance could kill. Not
good. Not good at all.

Time for a little julep juice.

I'll talk at y'all later.

Miz Vul