trash talk

Hey Girls,

Have been without internet service for more than 2 weeks, and am just
now digging out from under a bunch 'a stuff which is when i discovered
the Peachtree City newsletter and what the mayor has to say about
garbage service in Peachtree City. No matter how hard I try to find it
funny, I just can't help but find it all pretty insulting. And scary.
And infuriating. Does he really believe this? Does he really think
others will believe this? Do others really believe this or are my
critical thinking skills better than I thought?

Seems the City Council is leaning towards creating a monopoly (i mean,
selecting ONE company) to do ALL the garbage pickups in PTC. His-ness
says that the council has thought long and hard about this difficult
decision, and here's what they've come up with in all that long, hard
pondering:

Cost: He seems to think that having a monopoly (i mean, one company)
will reduce prices. Guess he never heard of competition. Me, I've
always found that when there's a monopoly, prices go UP, not down.

Streets: Having a monoploy (i mean, one company) will not tear up the
streets so bad. Un huh. Sure.

Recycling: PTC will lose their recycling center, his-ness says, when
the road is widened. What to do? Oh, what to do? His-ness suggests
that the city will force the monopoly (i mean, the one garbage
company) to provide the recycling center. Though his wording sure
sounds like the PTC gestapo (i mean, code enforcement patrol) will add
going-through-your-garbage-to-make-sure-that-you-are-recycling to
their list of powers (i mean, duties), his-ness assures us that will
not be the case. His calculator seems to convince him that having a
monopoly (i mean, one) garbage company and forcing them to provide the
recycling center will actually REDUCE what we are currently paying for
garbage pick up. (I want me one of those calculators. I really do.)

Public Health: His-ness says - and I quote - "The current multiple
provider system gives us no way to ensure everyone has service. With
one company, they can report anyone whose service is discontinued for
non-payment, and the City can ensure that proper garbage service is
maintained at the residence." Now, Girls, the way I read that is that
every resident will be REQUIRED to pay for garbage pickup. Period.
Before this quote I mentioned, his-ness writes about how the law
enforcement folk have seen trash piled up in and out of local houses.
There's just so much here, I hardly know where to start, so I'll start
small: did you notice how his-ness CAPITALIZES the word "City"? I
think that's enough said about that, and actually, I think that pretty
much sums up my problem with this whole issue. But I'm gonna' continue
anyway. I'm what's commonly known as a neatnik, but I've got some
cousins who aren't nearly so interested in keeping a neat, orderly
house to which I say: SO WHAT? Now we're going to let city (notice NO
capitalization) authorities determine what is neat and what is not or
what is trash and what is not?

Litter: Apparently, having a monopoly (i mean, one) garbage company is
going to ensure that we never see litter on the streets of PTC again.

Choice: Seems that some folks share my desire for personal choice, BUT
while his-ness admits to understanding that desire, he "would like to
point out that there is still an element of choice in this process."
Then his-ness goes on to point out that the current "City Council and
I were chosen to serve you." He considers THAT as our personal choice?
We elected them, therefore we've exercised our personal choice. And he
apparently is under the cockamamie idea that we elected them to save
us from ourselves.

Customer Service: His-ness actually wants us to believe that having a
monopoly (i mean, one) garbage company will give us better customer
service. Again, I say "Un huh. Sure."

Girlfriends, didn't they actually try this monopoly (i mean, one)
garbage company idea a while back? And here we are with multiple
companies now. Hhhmmmmmm. What's that they say about history repeating
itself?

This whole thing scares me, girls. It really does. But then I've never
heard anybody ever refer to PTC as Galt's Gulch.

Oh, I can't go on. I just can't. My blood is boiling. I'm just gonna'
have to go fix me a julep (or three) (maybe more) . . . and I have a
damn good idea what to do with my glass when it's empty.

Till next time,
Miz Vul