Depends on What You Think You Know or Saw

Oh be still my panting breath and rapidly beating heart! You just aren't going to believe this. But I bet you will find it amusing.

There I was, being a good neighbor and all, when I strolled over to collect my neighbor's mail and put it in the house for them. You see, they've been out of town and I've been watching the place from my spot on the front porch. I don't have to watch at night since they've got a house sitter for the night.

I've gone over for the past several days to check on things and to let their little puppies out for the call of the wild. Well, there's something wild going on over in those parts and it's not the puppies.

Yesterday, I found all these clothes scattered over the floor. This aroused my curiosity, but then I thought that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone in the house. So I made lots of noise with the puppies and noticed the hot tub cover was open with more clothes on the side. Ok. So, the house sitter is messy. No problem for me as sometimes I don't pick up my clothes everyday either.

Then, today. Today. Well, I saw something that no good God fearing woman should ever have to see. I picked up the mail and put the key in the lock. The lock just wasn't doing its thing, so there I was, just trying to make it work. The little puppies were crazily barking.

Hmmm, I thought as I looked in the window. There's a big wine bottle on the counter. Hmmm, I thought. There's a big spill on the kitchen floor. Hmmmm, I saw the call of the wild.

It was a naked, yes, naked man who strolled in to the kitchen to see why the puppies were barking. Now, Ms Faye, I know you would have gotten a big ole grin on your face and perhaps even invited yourself in for a look see.

Let me tell you. It would have taken a microscope to see what was out and about in that room. So, I did the polite thing. I took the key out the door, put the mail back in the box, and scooted on home so I could pour me a double mint julep.

Now the dilemma is whether I tell my neighbor of the shenanigans going on in her absence. Do I just tell her that everything looked ok and that her house sitter seemed to be on top of everything? Or do I ask for the definition of "everything ok"? You know, just like President Clinton really needed to know the definition of "is" and President Obama really needs the definition of "tax"?

My thoughts on Obama's speech...

Hoooey.

Not to mention rude. That man kept everyone in the country waiting for almost 15 minutes. Such arrogance to think that we should all wait on him. It shows such a disdain for everyone in the country.

And another thing. You know I don't have the most brilliant mind or maybe even close to it, but even my little pea brain can figure out that you can't pay for his bazillion dollar plan by cost savings from fixing what the government already broke. My goodness, if it could have been fixed why didn't they already do it?

For those who didn't listen to his talk, he's claiming that he's going to pay for this new program of his by cutting out the waste in Medicare and Medicaid. Now even the dimmest dimwit should be askin' how they expect to do that, and why they haven't already done it, and if the government can't run Medicare and Medicaid without all those zillions of dollars of waste, what makes them think they can run our healthcare any better?

All the government needs to do is just get out of the way and quit putting all those rules and regulations on top of our healthcare folks and it'll work itself out. It's kind of like baking a cake and putting too much salt in the mix. You try to fix it by adding a bit more sugar and then you have to add a bit more flour and then you have to add some more baking soda... pretty soon you got a big mess that won't fit in the oven. So then this healthcare thing Obama is talking about is like saying they're just going to scoop some of that batter out and try to fix it. They'll add a bit more butter, a bit more flour and pretty soon the kitchen will be the biggest mess you've ever seen.

I did not like hearing our President say that people were lying either. That was crass.

He sounded like a pompous school teacher lecturing a classroom of failing students. All he did was make me angry. He must think that we're idiots and he sure enough bought into all those people telling him he was a good speaker. Hooey.

I am going to go find a tea party. Want to join me ladies?

Steamingly yours,
Miss Faye

Waitin' on the President to Speak

Well, I'm just watchin' the clock and waitin' for the President to drop those li'l ol' pearls of doom from his lips tonight at 8 p.m.. I don't reckon I have enough time to get much done so I figured I'd chat a bit with my friends here on the porch.

I suppose sooner or later that new fellah they're getting ready to confirm, Cas Sunstein, will want to outlaw our chats on here along with mint juleps. I hear tell he things animals have the same rights as you and I. Hmph. And rats? My goodness, he doesn't think we should get rid of those nasty things if it'll hurt them. Well, I'll tell you right now that they can outlaw killing rats all they want but if one gets in my house I'll figure out a way to build a mousetrap, government or no government.

What in the world is happening to our world? We have a President who puts communists in the White House, is good friends and respects some nut job who thinks animals should be able to have lawyers and oh law, I could go on and on about this man.

And the real shame is that a body can't say they don't like something he's doing without being called a racist.

I am so tired of listening to this man speak I don't know why I'm going to bother tonight but I will. I know it's just going to aggravate me and get my blood boiling. He smiles and looks at the teleprompter and tells the American public we're idiots and half of us clap. Can these people not see what this man is doing to our country? Are they so blind they can't look ten paces down the road and see where we are headin'?

There just aren't enough people left who have the mind set to look beyond the end of their own nose to see where they're heading. It's all me, me, me and now, now, now.

I am thinking that I will be finding a tea party to visit this weekend somewhere. I can not sit by idly as Mr. Obama and his friends tear down our country. I don't know if it will help any to wave my hands and stomp my feet, but this country wasn't built by people who took care of their own backsides, it took a mighty bunch of fighters.

Before I forget, did any of you ladies take a gander at that new health bill that gang of six fellah is going to try and ram down our throats? I have never seen so many taxes and intrusions into our privacy. Why, it give the IRS even MORE power than they already have! It's just chocked full of regulations, not to mention a tax on soda pop. Yep, sugar sodas. I can't wait to find out how the Coca Cola and Pepsi folks are going to feel about that one!

Time to run if I'm going to fix a beverage before the Obama show begins. I think I will also grab a bottle of antacids to be on the safe side.

Yours truly,
Miss Faye