Morning Reflections and Observations

It's been real quiet on my porch lately. Guess I'm alright with the solitude as it has given me time to reflect and observe. This morning while I was sitting on the porch drinking my daily dose of caffeine and wondering about what to do for the day, my eyes were suddenly drawn to a duel.

It's the kind of duel where we mothers shudder our shoulders when we see it. A little baby was abducted. Now, before you go running to the phone to put out an all points bulletin-- wait to see what I have to say.

The commotion all started when the young mother took off for her morning work-- providing breakfast for her babies. They were all squalling up a storm, when all of a sudden-- a big swoop dove in. Yep, a red tailed hawk who lives back behind my house was also looking for his breakfast and spotted it.

He swooped right in and started tugging the little baby bird right out of the nest. He was pulling and the other babies were really crying at this point. It got the mama's attention. She comes flying in a very quick speed. Why, it was probably faster than Superman could have done it.

The hawk, with his breakfast secured in his claws, takes off. The mama bird chases him. She is yelling and saying all kinds of bad things about that intruder. Alas, she returned back to her nest empty clawed. No baby rescued.

Will she mourn the little tyke who had not had time to spread his little wings and fly? Will she stay closer to home to protect the others who are still in her nest? Now, I ponder while I finish the morning coffee.

Nature is fascinating to observe. Guess that is what I'll do today. What else will I see while I wait for my friends to show up?

Have a thoughtful day.

Miss Etta

No Show Snow and Eggnog

Mornin' my friends,

There it was on the six o'clock news last Friday. Snow and sleet forecasted again for our area. That was like the third time in 10 days. There I was, eagerly watching the radar screen to see if it would get here in time for more snowman building in the morning. Went to bed. Woke up-- no show snow.

As I was grumbling about not having a pretty front yard again, I got to thinking. And, then I got to laughing. Do you remember what it was like to have youngins in the house? It was always quite noisy, and that was a good sign.

When it got quiet for a spell, the old mama brain radar would sound and off. I'd go to seek and find. I remember one time when the mama radar went off. It was just too quiet for toddlers in the house. Well, guess what! They were quiet for a reason.

I went upstairs to be greeted by shouts of joy. "Look, mama," they shouted. "We're snowmen."

Snowmen indeed. They were covered in white---- white baby powder, that is. The oldest had climbed up on the bed and reached way over to the top of the dresser. She grabbed the baby powder and turned everyone, and everything, into snowmen. They were just so proud. Me? Not so proud.

After cleaning them up, I spent several hours trying to clean up all the "snow" which had fallen in the baby's room. As I recall, that room smelled like baby powder until the day we moved!

So, even though the weather radar ending up being quiet over the weekend, I spent many moments in happy snow memories.

Tried something new this morning. I decided I needed some eggnog before it went completely out of season. Since it really is too early to add the julep juice, I opted on adding a dash of Kahlua. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. So, I think I'll go sip on my eggnog and dream of snow and the days of the mama radar.

Talk with you later,

Miss Etta

Redundancy

Hey girls,

Miss Faye, seems to me that "nasty politics" sure is a fine example of redundancy. I've got a buncha kin folks who have run for office - all of 'em running successfully, regardless of how the vote count turned out. You know what I always say: when it comes to politics, sometimes the loser is the biggest winner.

If anybody happens to ask me (and it happens on the rare occasion), I tell 'em to run on the state or national level 'cause it's been my experience that the hometown folks remember every single little thing - and they hold onto a grudge like it was a bar of gold. As a rule, folks just don't seem to pay nearly as much attention to what's going on outside their backyard.

'Course the odd thing is that I've also found that people want to run for something on the local level 'cause they care about where they live and they want to have a positive impact on what goes on there. I can't explain it, I just know it's so.

I don't know. I just don't know.

I synonymize (I just made that word up, dontchaknow) power with politics, and power just does things to people. And it doesn't matter whether you win or lose the election 'cause let's face it: there's power in name recognition alone. It's like I've always said: Money (or you can substitute the word "power") brings out the BEST in people.

I say that and most people don't even pay any attention. They're so used to hearing folks say "Money brings out the WORST in people" that they just think they know what I said. But then I get the occasional person who realizes how I changed it and they either (a) correct me like I'm some moron who doesn't know a cliche from a voting booth or (b) ignore it completely or (c) ask me what on earth am I talking about. And since I can tell you girls are of the #c variety, I'm gonna' tell you that what I'm talking about is this: when people have money, they can either keep it to themselves and just go on being a nice person or they can try to make other people it that money without even salting it first. Me, I prefer what's behind door #a: they just keep right on being a nice, friendly, upstanding person, keeping their bank account balance to themselves.

I've got some other relatives who chose my preferred route. They lived well beneath their means, and when it came time that I had to take a more active role in their lives, that's when I found out just how far beneath their means they were living. It was interesting (we'll just choose to go with that word, though there are a host of other words running through my brain right now) watching how people treated this one relative in particular. She was old and lived in a plain house and drove an old, old, old car and had teeth that made her look British, and while a lot of people were kind to her, there were way, way, way, way too many who treated her with disdain - like they had "power" over her because she was old and looked so poor. Oh, if they only knew.

If they only knew.

It was kinda' entertaining, I must say. Was like watching The Emperor's New Clothes play out again and again. Them parading around like an emperor with their nose in the air like they were wearing clothes they knew she wished she had, when actually they were parading around buck nekkid and hairy.

But I'll tell you one thing that's The Honest Truth: it's nice having rich folks as ancestors.

Especially when they're nice, honest, loving, fun, good people who like to laugh, too.

Till next time,

Miz Vul

Squishy Squash

Miss Etta that okra bread sound interesting so I think I may just skitter round to the local food store and buy all the fixings. It might be good with some corn tossed into the mix, too. I never have been one to leave well enough alone, although I prefer to think of it as adding my own touch to every little thing. As they say, I make it my own.

With this crazy weather I don't know if I should be making chili or eating watermelon. Only in Georgia can you find weather that can't make up its mind from day to day.

And yes, Miz Vul, although you have come new to our little front porch, you are missed already when you don't add your two cents worth to our discussions. Looking for a yoga dvd is not excuse enough to ignore us unless you happen to get tied up in some knot while doing one of those crazy contortions. Just how does it make you relax to twist a leg behind your neck? I tried some classes and I kept falling over. The only animal that should practice standing with one leg in the air is a dog.

I am short on time but did want to at least say hello. I will try to catch up later this evening if life permits.

Miss Faye

Old Enough to Be Young

My, my. My face is turning red as yours should be, Miss Faye. Just know that I'm too young to be this old.

I recall when I was a child that my sister was only one year older than me. Apparently time passed by more quickly for her than for me because she has a child who is old enough to make her a grandma. Me? I'm much too young for any of that nonsense. I even told her so recently, too.

Speaking of age, one time my youngins asked me what it was like living with the dinosaurs. I told them they shouldn't call their father names! Hmmmmmppppphhhhhhh.

Okra Bread is so simple to make, although I'm not sure if I should share the recipe with you, after asking me a question that no polite southern gal would ask anyone Lawd, next you'll be trying to figure a way to get me to say it by asking who was the first president I voted for. Just know, it was a one term winner. Ok-- here it goes... Take another sip of Julep Juice and sit down so you don't miss it. I'm, oh, about...

Okra Bread

1 c. chopped fresh okra

1 c. chopped onions

2 eggs
1 c. chopped fresh tomatoes (or one can of tomatoes, drained)
1 box Jiffy corn muffin mix
Salt and pepper to taste

Mix above ingredients until it sticks together with muffin mix. Pour into greased pan. Dot with butter and bake at 375 degrees for 30-45 minutes or until brown.

Talk to you later. I've got to stop and have some more Julep Juice.

Miss Etta

Snow Jam and Okra Bread

Goodness, ladies! Can't a good old (do not snicker) Southern gal take time to watch the weather forecast? And for the sake of our friendship, leave okra alone!! I adore okra. Most anyway I can find it. Boiled, fried, soup, cake, and my favorite, Okra Bread. Ah, the memories of it just warms the cockles of my heart.

Now that I've got that off my mind, let me talk about my day. I've been so busy just wondering if we're gonna have another Snow Jam in Atlanta. It's been so many years since we've had a really big snow jam. Why, I remember back in the early 1980s that we had them on a fairly regular basis. If I recall correctly, it also seems like they were usually around Martin Luther King Holiday. And it seems as if all our really bad snowstorms come from Bama.

Why, I remember when I was working just north of downtown Atlanta when the telephone rang at the office back in '82. One of the girl's husbands, who was an attorney, said his Birmingham office called and said get out of Atlanta. Snow is a coming. And, boy did it come. I was stuck at the office for two days. Couldn't get my car out of the parking lot.

Now I had a miniature poodle named Killer. Before you laugh too hard, my daddy said if I had to have a sissy looking dog, I couldn't give it a sissy name. So, the dog was named Killer. He was most definitely a "lady killer." Of course, he was great at nipping my dates too. Let me get back to my story before I tell you some really hilarious things that Killer did.

Anyway, I was living in a townhouse in Doraville. I called the manager of the complex and asked them to check on little Killer, seeing how I couldn't get there to take care of him. The manager called me back shortly at the office and told me Killer was just fine. He, in fact, had bitten her when she went in to feed him and take him for a walk. She didn't complain though, because poor little Killer was up to his kneecaps in extremely cold water. Yep, while I was at work for that long period of time, my water pipes broke. Actually broke in 16 places. And, yes, there was a ton of water in the townhouse. They shut off my water and went ahead and got someone in to take care of some of the damage before I could get home.

So, you see, I learned another valuable lesson from a dog. They are great indicators to use when water pipes break. If water gets up to their kneecaps, have someone turn off the water and call a plumber. Of course, now I have a much bigger dog so his kneecaps are much further off the floor. Find it cuts down on having to call the plumber, don't you know.

I'm ready for Snow Jam '08. I just baked a cake and went to the store to buy carbs. Who knows, if the power goes, I'll need the extra carbs to stay warm. And if the power doesn't go off, well, I just can't let that food go to waste now, can I.

Miss Etta

So Glad To Be Here

Well, Misses Faye and Etta, aren't y'all the sweetest things? I sure do 'preciate that invitation. Just add another straw to that mint julep and scoot over cause I think I'll just take you up on it and come sit a spell on your v-porch.

As long as I don't wear out my welcome, that is.

Y'all sure are right about talent right here in our own backyard. Why just look at the Fayette Front Page. All those people doing all those talented things.

And it's nothing new to this area, either. Why this patch of red dirt we call home has been talented upon more times than I can count.

Take this one boy named B. W. Mersk. He hung around between second and third base on the school playground, leaning up against the little fence that surrounded the cesspool, separating it from the kickball field. Somebody'd really get their foot into a ball, and whoosh. That red school-issue ball would sail right over everybody's heads and thunk right into the cesspool. Quick as a flash, B. W. went wading in, treading where none of the rest of us dared to go. He'd fetch the ball, get back outside the fence, shake himself off pretty good, then roll the ball back to the pitcher and go on back to leaning and waiting on the next pretty good kicker to step up to the plate. That right there was what I call useful talent. Anybody who could go that close to the cesspool - let alone inside it - and not gag. Uh huh.

Now I got a husband who can tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue. And not even open his mouth too much. I been thinking about hiring him out for parties and such. He's a right outgoing type, and a little bit of pin money never hurt any of us. You know what I mean?

Got another relative who can lay down on the piano bench - her head close to the keyboard - raise her arms up over her face to the keyboard, cross 'em, and play the piano.

She really can.

Can play all sorts of tunes like that. That's not just talent - that's a nimble brain, too, dontchaknow.

Then there's my uncle who can make a dollar go further than from here to Australia and back. But I guess that's delving into a different column - one that's called something other than talent.

At least to hear his family talk, it is.

Ummm hmmmm.

Why just look at you and Miss Etta. All the talent that veritably flies right outta your fingertips daily. Y'all sling these words and thoughts together like nobody's business, and I'm here to tell you: that's talent.

Yes it is.

You are so right, Miss Faye: we don't have to trek all the way out to California to find talent. No, we sure don't.

But I tell you what: if you want to step outside our backyard via the internet, give this little nugget a listen:

http://www.songpeddler.com/JimWilson/GodsCricketChorus_JWilson.asp

It's a chorus of crickets singing.

I kid you not.

Somebody with way too much time on their hands, recorded crickets THEN, as if that wasn't enough, slowed the recording down to match "the length of the average lifespan of a human being".

Don't ask me how they did that 'cause I do NOT do math.

It's a selection right outta nature's talent show. And it could still be local talent 'cause for all we know, those crickets were performing on this red soil we call home. Could be. It sure could be.

Gotta' run. Y'all stay warm now, ya' hear. And thanks again for inviting me to your v-porch. We're gonna' have a mighty fine time. I just know we are.

Till next time,

Miz Vul

No New TV? Oh the horror!

I almost had to laugh. Actually, I did. Laugh out loud.

Oh, those poor, poor folks who lives revolve around having a new episode every week on the television. I barely have time to watch even a portion of the news. In fact, the ten o'clock news is what I watch as I drift off into sleep.

No New TV? Oh my, my. How can we survive? Let me count the ways.

Try talking with your family.
Listen to your spouse.
Play a board game with the children.
Read a book.
Watch some of the older black and white TV shows. They're great!
Watch sports.
Call a friend.
Snuggle up as you watch a roaring fire in the fireplace.
Go outside and walk.
Listen to the radio.

Our parents and grandparents surely didn't worry about having new episodes. I really don't think I've lost any sleep over not seeing a new episode of ........., well, I can't hardly remember the names of any of the current popular shows.

Gotta run. It's almost time for Perry Mason.

Miss Etta

Almost took a day off!

Miss Etta, I almost decided not to write today. Well, it wasn't that I decided NOT to write, I just kept putting it off and putting it off because I couldn't think of a thing to write about.

I think staying up to watch the new year come in last night through my internal clock off kilter.

As you can see, I couldn't finish the day without writing something, even if it is nothing.

Did you see on the Fayette Front Page where they have officially had the first case of influenza? It was in DeKalb County, which is not too far from here.

I suppose that most people don't go to the doctor when they have the flu so it's difficult for the officials to really know when the flu came to Georgia.

I know I will just suffer through most illnesses rather than traipse into the doctor's waiting room for an few hours of waiting. Usually by the time I realize I would have been better off going to the doctor I'm on the mend.

I didn't get my flu shot. I know I probably should have, but I go back and forth. One year I had the shot. I got the flu. The next I didn't get the shot. I got the flu. Every year I manage to come down with the flu no matter how many vegetables, how many vitamins and how many preventative herbs and over-the-counter remedies I try.

Well, I have talked a lot about something. It is now no longer January 1st. I have piddled around with my writing until I am now 5 minutes into January 2nd. I think I might count this as writing both days just in case I wake up in the same kind of mood later today.

I am going to get some sleep. I expect the second day of the year to be a busy one.

Miss Faye

Can't go anywhere!

Miss Etta, that reminds me of a vacation story from many years back. My friend and I were in a small town in Florida. We got turned around, made a few wrong turns and got ourselves thoroughly lost.

We decided to turn left on a street that looked like it would take us toward the beach. It didn't.

It curved around, ran parallel to the street we had turned off of and finally gave us no choice but to curve back around to that self-same street.

We stopped at the traffic light and quickly checked out the situation to see which way to turn.

The road was a one-way on the left going to the right. The road across from us which normally would have been an option was also a one-way coming in our direction. The street we were on was a two-way, we doubled checked.

That normally would have left us with one option, which should have been to turn right.

However, smack dab in the middle of the street, hanging down so it was impossible to miss was a sigh that said "NO RIGHT TURN."

It didn't say "No Right Turn on RED," it simply said "NO RIGHT TURN." Just in case the intrepid driver of a vehicle might have missed the sign dangling in clear view, there was a regular rectangular sign stuck in the ground to the right of the car that said "NO RIGHT TURN."

The light turned green. The people behind us honked. Decision time.

I whipped out my camera and took photos.

What else would you expect a tourist to do.

We then turned right.

So did the vehicle behind us.

I had every intention to take the photos and send them to Jay Leno, but you know how that goes. They're in a box somewhere, collecting dust.

I have thought many times about that intersection and tried to fathom what was in the mind of the people who made the decision to put up those signs.

I am thinking they just liked to have fun with hapless travelers. Or maybe they had imbibed just a touch too much hooch.

If I ever find those photos, I'll have to post them on here for everyone to see.

Just in case I don't get to write before the New Year, Miss Etta I hope you and your family have a year filled with places you can get to (and that you want to go)!

Miss Faye

Mint Julep Iced Tea

I came across this recipe and I just had to share it. It sounds so much better than Long Island Tea. I seems delightfully wicked to add bourbon to our good old southern ice tea.

Mint Julep Iced Tea

8 mint leaves
1 lemon, sliced
1 lime, sliced
1 cup bourbon
3 cups cold sweetened tea
Cubed or crushed ice

Combine first 3 ingredients in a 2-quart pitcher, pressing with spoon to crush mint. Stir in bourbon and tea. Add ice. Makes 2 quarts.

Oh my, that is MY kind of ice tea! A few glasses of that and who'll need rose colored glasses to view the world?

Gifts That Keep On and On

Miss Faye,

You've been so busy just celebrating the holidays, haven't you? To answer your last question, the White Trash Dessert I saw did have M&Ms in it. I think it's real funny that the famous Southern Living called it White Christmas. What a hoot.

I've been out in the masses again today. This time it was to buy all those cute little accessories for the gifts that Santa and company left. It's really amazing to me. Even though we got great gifts under the tree, and they seemed to be complete, somehow, they just needed more. It's the gifts that keep on and on. Kinda like that bunny. Except these gifts need more cash than that. I could spend a fortune just in completing the gifts.

I do think that I found a treasure today. An unexpected one. A really neat one. One that I couldn't resist. It was such a bargain. At the local office supply store, I stumbled across a combo printer, fax, scanner, copier for $20. Now, I paid more than that up front. That will be the final price after I get all the paperwork sent in to get money back. What a neat rebate. So, soon, I'll be unpacking it and trying to see what all it takes to make it work. If I'm lucky, it won't be the gift that just keeps on and on eating money. I fully expect it to work forever!

I'm just glad I wasn't one of those many people across the country who couldn't use their gift cards yesterday at the local big box. Can you imagine how many people weren't wearing smiles after they had grabbed all the discounted goodies, stood in line for a long time, and then were told their cards weren't being accepted by the store's computers?

And if I'm ever not home when you call, just remember. I'm out scouting around for all those cute completer items. Guess this will be a Christmas I won't soon forget. I know my pocketbook will think of it on a regular basis for a bit.

You have a nice evening, Miss Faye. I'm all tuckered out and need to rest my poor weary bones.

Miss Etta

Nothing to sneeze at...

Well Miss Etta, I know you are off visiting family. I hope you are enjoying yourself immensely. A lot of people are on the roads and in the air traveling to see their dear ones (or not so dear ones in some cases).

I have been blessed to have most of our family come home to roost in Georgia. They are all near enough that we can see each other when we choose without too much difficulty, yet we are far enough apart to ensure we don't can't look over the fence or drop in unannounced for breakfast.

I plan to retire early tonight but thought I would at least share a word or two with our readers. I have noted that our readership is already growing considerably so we must be saying something someone want to read. Either that or a lot of people are interested in mint juleps.

Earlier I talked a bit about white elephants. Today I used the term "nothing to sneeze at" while talking with a friend and decided I needed to find out were that term came from.

Sneezing is something you try not to do in polite company. Ladies used to carry delicate hankies in the event they were overtaken by a sneeze (although they certainly had other reasons for carrying the lacy pieces of cloth). You should never sneeze loudly and should always cover your mouth. If a hankie or tissue is available it should be employed.

Why would someone say something was nothing to sneeze at? Who sneezes AT something?

It seems that manners have changed over the years. In times gone by high society went through some misguided craze where they induced sneezes. Yes, it is true. Everyone who was anyone would carry a box of ground herb mixed with tobacco. A pinch stuffed into the nostril produced a very loud sneeze.

Because most of the people partaking of the sneezing craze were in the so-called leisure class, it became a mark of indolence. If they heard some piece gossip or news they would stuff the nasty mix into their nose, then sneeze to show they were bored with what they'd heard. When something isn't too be sneezed at, it is important. It is something that wouldn't evoke a sneeze.

I am SO glad that practice has gone by the wayside. I do not think I will be using that phrase nearly as much in the future knowing its history!