Depends on What You Think You Know or Saw

Oh be still my panting breath and rapidly beating heart! You just aren't going to believe this. But I bet you will find it amusing.

There I was, being a good neighbor and all, when I strolled over to collect my neighbor's mail and put it in the house for them. You see, they've been out of town and I've been watching the place from my spot on the front porch. I don't have to watch at night since they've got a house sitter for the night.

I've gone over for the past several days to check on things and to let their little puppies out for the call of the wild. Well, there's something wild going on over in those parts and it's not the puppies.

Yesterday, I found all these clothes scattered over the floor. This aroused my curiosity, but then I thought that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone in the house. So I made lots of noise with the puppies and noticed the hot tub cover was open with more clothes on the side. Ok. So, the house sitter is messy. No problem for me as sometimes I don't pick up my clothes everyday either.

Then, today. Today. Well, I saw something that no good God fearing woman should ever have to see. I picked up the mail and put the key in the lock. The lock just wasn't doing its thing, so there I was, just trying to make it work. The little puppies were crazily barking.

Hmmm, I thought as I looked in the window. There's a big wine bottle on the counter. Hmmm, I thought. There's a big spill on the kitchen floor. Hmmmm, I saw the call of the wild.

It was a naked, yes, naked man who strolled in to the kitchen to see why the puppies were barking. Now, Ms Faye, I know you would have gotten a big ole grin on your face and perhaps even invited yourself in for a look see.

Let me tell you. It would have taken a microscope to see what was out and about in that room. So, I did the polite thing. I took the key out the door, put the mail back in the box, and scooted on home so I could pour me a double mint julep.

Now the dilemma is whether I tell my neighbor of the shenanigans going on in her absence. Do I just tell her that everything looked ok and that her house sitter seemed to be on top of everything? Or do I ask for the definition of "everything ok"? You know, just like President Clinton really needed to know the definition of "is" and President Obama really needs the definition of "tax"?

Another great Christmas Gift Idea

Oh Miss Faye,

I so agree with you about the gift closet. I just really hate getting all those useless items I don't want or need. Oh, and then trying to remember who gave me what tacky gift so I can get it out when they come to visit! Oh the horror if their gift isn't on display!! I've gotten so fed up with the idea when every year I try so hard to think about people's personalities and try so hard to find just the perfect item in my price range. This year is different.

What, with all the high gas prices and food costs so high. And, not to mention, the ever increasing tax burden that my modest home is giving me. To sum it up, I'm cutting back on all the extraneous gift giving.

I did come up with a great idea that some people on my list are getting. I've been purchasing Scrip from the local schools. Are you familiar with Scrip? It's a great program that painlessly earns money for our local schools. At the schools nearest me, I can just walk into the office and ask for purchase it. Scrip are gift cards to a goodly number of shops, restaurants, clothing stores, fast food and even some gas stations. A portion of each Scrip card sold goes directly back to the school.

So, my little pea brain decided to purchase several of these as Christmas gifts. I then purchased a calendar and strategically placed gift cards on several months of the calendar. For example, one lucky person will get a dinner in January followed by a movie in February. I'm even giving a magazine subscription on a calendar for a young girl's birthday. And then there's the person who gets bookstore cards on the summer months so they have something new to read on vacation.

There are ways to regain the spirit of giving. I still think the best Christmas gift is the one given to us in a manger so long ago.

Miss Etta