Mint Julep Journal

Depends on What You Think You Know or Saw

2009-09-22T14:43:00.002-04:00

Oh be still my panting breath and rapidly beating heart! You just aren't going to believe this. But I bet you will find it amusing.

There I was, being a good neighbor and all, when I strolled over to collect my neighbor's mail and put it in the house for them. You see, they've been out of town and I've been watching the place from my spot on the front porch. I don't have to watch at night since they've got a house sitter for the night.

I've gone over for the past several days to check on things and to let their little puppies out for the call of the wild. Well, there's something wild going on over in those parts and it's not the puppies.

Yesterday, I found all these clothes scattered over the floor. This aroused my curiosity, but then I thought that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone in the house. So I made lots of noise with the puppies and noticed the hot tub cover was open with more clothes on the side. Ok. So, the house sitter is messy. No problem for me as sometimes I don't pick up my clothes everyday either.

Then, today. Today. Well, I saw something that no good God fearing woman should ever have to see. I picked up the mail and put the key in the lock. The lock just wasn't doing its thing, so there I was, just trying to make it work. The little puppies were crazily barking.

Hmmm, I thought as I looked in the window. There's a big wine bottle on the counter. Hmmm, I thought. There's a big spill on the kitchen floor. Hmmmm, I saw the call of the wild.

It was a naked, yes, naked man who strolled in to the kitchen to see why the puppies were barking. Now, Ms Faye, I know you would have gotten a big ole grin on your face and perhaps even invited yourself in for a look see.

Let me tell you. It would have taken a microscope to see what was out and about in that room. So, I did the polite thing. I took the key out the door, put the mail back in the box, and scooted on home so I could pour me a double mint julep.

Now the dilemma is whether I tell my neighbor of the shenanigans going on in her absence. Do I just tell her that everything looked ok and that her house sitter seemed to be on top of everything? Or do I ask for the definition of "everything ok"? You know, just like President Clinton really needed to know the definition of "is" and President Obama really needs the definition of "tax"?

My thoughts on Obama's speech...

2009-09-09T22:30:00.002-04:00

Hoooey.

Not to mention rude. That man kept everyone in the country waiting for almost 15 minutes. Such arrogance to think that we should all wait on him. It shows such a disdain for everyone in the country.

And another thing. You know I don't have the most brilliant mind or maybe even close to it, but even my little pea brain can figure out that you can't pay for his bazillion dollar plan by cost savings from fixing what the government already broke. My goodness, if it could have been fixed why didn't they already do it?

For those who didn't listen to his talk, he's claiming that he's going to pay for this new program of his by cutting out the waste in Medicare and Medicaid. Now even the dimmest dimwit should be askin' how they expect to do that, and why they haven't already done it, and if the government can't run Medicare and Medicaid without all those zillions of dollars of waste, what makes them think they can run our healthcare any better?

All the government needs to do is just get out of the way and quit putting all those rules and regulations on top of our healthcare folks and it'll work itself out. It's kind of like baking a cake and putting too much salt in the mix. You try to fix it by adding a bit more sugar and then you have to add a bit more flour and then you have to add some more baking soda... pretty soon you got a big mess that won't fit in the oven. So then this healthcare thing Obama is talking about is like saying they're just going to scoop some of that batter out and try to fix it. They'll add a bit more butter, a bit more flour and pretty soon the kitchen will be the biggest mess you've ever seen.

I did not like hearing our President say that people were lying either. That was crass.

He sounded like a pompous school teacher lecturing a classroom of failing students. All he did was make me angry. He must think that we're idiots and he sure enough bought into all those people telling him he was a good speaker. Hooey.

I am going to go find a tea party. Want to join me ladies?

Steamingly yours,
Miss Faye

Waitin' on the President to Speak

2009-09-09T19:41:00.002-04:00

Well, I'm just watchin' the clock and waitin' for the President to drop those li'l ol' pearls of doom from his lips tonight at 8 p.m.. I don't reckon I have enough time to get much done so I figured I'd chat a bit with my friends here on the porch.

I suppose sooner or later that new fellah they're getting ready to confirm, Cas Sunstein, will want to outlaw our chats on here along with mint juleps. I hear tell he things animals have the same rights as you and I. Hmph. And rats? My goodness, he doesn't think we should get rid of those nasty things if it'll hurt them. Well, I'll tell you right now that they can outlaw killing rats all they want but if one gets in my house I'll figure out a way to build a mousetrap, government or no government.

What in the world is happening to our world? We have a President who puts communists in the White House, is good friends and respects some nut job who thinks animals should be able to have lawyers and oh law, I could go on and on about this man.

And the real shame is that a body can't say they don't like something he's doing without being called a racist.

I am so tired of listening to this man speak I don't know why I'm going to bother tonight but I will. I know it's just going to aggravate me and get my blood boiling. He smiles and looks at the teleprompter and tells the American public we're idiots and half of us clap. Can these people not see what this man is doing to our country? Are they so blind they can't look ten paces down the road and see where we are headin'?

There just aren't enough people left who have the mind set to look beyond the end of their own nose to see where they're heading. It's all me, me, me and now, now, now.

I am thinking that I will be finding a tea party to visit this weekend somewhere. I can not sit by idly as Mr. Obama and his friends tear down our country. I don't know if it will help any to wave my hands and stomp my feet, but this country wasn't built by people who took care of their own backsides, it took a mighty bunch of fighters.

Before I forget, did any of you ladies take a gander at that new health bill that gang of six fellah is going to try and ram down our throats? I have never seen so many taxes and intrusions into our privacy. Why, it give the IRS even MORE power than they already have! It's just chocked full of regulations, not to mention a tax on soda pop. Yep, sugar sodas. I can't wait to find out how the Coca Cola and Pepsi folks are going to feel about that one!

Time to run if I'm going to fix a beverage before the Obama show begins. I think I will also grab a bottle of antacids to be on the safe side.

Yours truly,
Miss Faye

The Legacy Continues

2009-08-26T08:36:00.003-04:00

What a morning it is. We've really enjoyed some nice, crisp, cool mornings lately. That global warming is at it again!

Did you know the legacy continues? For the third year in a row, Kentucky has proclaimed September as "Bourban Heritage Month." And our favorite spirit comes in with 13% of a survey for favorite ways to enjoy it.

Bourban has long been a spirit in America as Congress even declared it as "America's Native Spirit" in 1964. So, here's a morning julep juice salute to those over the generations who have believed in the spirit-- of moderation and responsible use. Oh, yeah, here's to the memory of the Irish bootlegger's grandson.

Here's a Theory For Ya!

2009-08-12T09:42:00.003-04:00

Got it gals. The most postitively best conspiracy theory to propose. All you have to do is look at the headlines and it should pop out to you like it did to me. Ok, I admit it. It became obvious after I filled up my julep juice cup this morning while I was waiting for you friends to show up on the porch.

Ready?

Mandatory Swine Flu Vaccine Found to be Contaminated with Mind Numbing Drugs

That's just so you don't have to worry your little ole common folk brains about what's going on around you with job losses, higher taxes, health care reform, etc. Just let the elected elite take care of you.

See ya,

Ms. Georgie

The More I Read the Health Bill, the Sicker I Get

2009-08-04T08:24:00.004-04:00

You gals best be careful as you heave yourselves up on the porch this am. I have been spending time doing something that our esteemed elected officials up in DC can't seem to do-- I've been reading parts of the proposed health bill. And I'm here to tell ya, I'm getting sick just reading it.

What are those folks smokin' up there? Can't they read? Bless my little ole heart, but I'm in need of more mint juleps than I can find this morn.

Can you define "uni" as in universal? Doesn't it mean ONE? Why, then, do the esteemed elected officials and maybe employees of Uncle Sam get to have a second or even third plan? Where is the "uni" in more than one plan? Boys, let me tell ya-- if it's "good" enough for the goose, then it's "good" enough for the gander.

And this health bill ain't good for anyone! Now the title sounds innocent enough- HR 3200 -To provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans and reduce the growth in health care spending, and for other purposes.

Wait. Hold your horses. What are the other "purposes"? Well , let me share with you some of the purposes-- like ordering death, fixing your estate for you, counseling on your marriage, stepping aside if you are old or sick so others can have health care, government access to your bank account at any time, etc.

Friends, you gotta read this nightmare of a bill. And then you gotta open your mouth loud for all to hear. Get your voice heard by your elected official. Maybe they can come off the drugs that are being fed to them up in Washington and see reality.

Here are some of the wonderful ways in which the proposed health bill will fix you right up. (Thanks to another fired up friend for sending these along.)

If this doesn't make your blood boil over then I don't know what will!!!! esp page 59 and 425 about the living wills and estate taxes.....and what about 170 and 50 and 241 and 253 and...and and....and..... at least you can claim that you read it before your elected representative bothered to.

You may verify these highlights by reading the bill yourself at:
http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=111_cong_bills&docid=f:h3200ih.pdf

The Government will decide if you will receive life saving treatment if you have a serious disease such as cancer or heart ailments. President Obama’s Chief of Staff has said several times in public that old people and “special needs” patients will just have to step aside when it comes to receiving health care. And this bill is claimed to fix the best health care system in the world. And if you are a veteran and receive care from the VA – no guarantees are included that the VA will not become a “billpayer” and closed to fund the social health system.

What is broke is our Congress and President. They all need to listen to citizens and not special interest groups.

Have you written or called your congressman today!! Let's send a letter as often as possible, and show them who’s in charge at their “town halls”!!!

Take a look at the Health Care Bill the House is now voting on:

• Page 16: States that if you have insurance at the time of the bill becoming law and change, you will be required to take a similar plan. If that is not available, you will be required to take the gov option!
• Page 22: Mandates audits of all employers that self-insure!
• Page 29: Admission: your health care will be rationed!
• Page 30: A government committee will decide what treatments and benefits you get (and, unlike an insurer, there will be no appeals process)
• Page 42: The "Health Choices Commissioner" will decide health benefits for you. You will have no choice. None.
• Page 50: All non-US citizens, illegal or not, will be provided with free healthcare services.
• Page 58: Every person will be issued a National ID Healthcard.
• Page 59: The federal government will have direct, real-time access to all individual bank accounts for electronic funds transfer.
• Page 65: Taxpayers will subsidize all union retiree and community organizer health plans (example: SEIU, UAW and ACORN)
• Page 72: All private healthcare plans must conform to government rules to participate in a Healthcare Exchange.
• Page 84: All private healthcare plans must participate in the Healthcare Exchange (i.e., total government control of private plans)
• Page 91: Government mandates linguistic infrastructure for services; translation: illegal aliens
• Page 95: The Government will pay ACORN and Americorps20to sign up individuals for Government-run Health Care plan.
• Page 102: Those eligible for Medicaid will be automatically enrolled: you have no choice in the matter.
• Page 124: No company can sue the government for price-fixing. No "judicial review" is permitted against the government monopoly. Put simply, private insurers will be crushed.
• Page 127: The AMA sold doctors out: the government will set wages.
• Page 145: An employer MUST auto-enroll employees into the government-run public plan. No alternatives.
• Page 126: Employers MUST pay healthcare bills for part -time employees AND their families.
• Page 149: Any employer with a payroll of $400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays an 8% tax on payroll.
• Page 150: Any employer with a payroll of $250K-400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays a 2 to 6% tax on payroll
• Page 167: Any individual who doesnt' have acceptable healthcare (according to the government) will be taxed 2.5% of income.
• Page 170: Any NON-RESIDENT al ien is exempt from individual taxes (Americans will pay for them).
• Page 195: Officers and employees of Government Healthcare Bureaucracy will have access to ALL American financial and personal records.
• Page 203: "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax." Yes, it really says that.
• Page 239: Bill will reduce physician services for Medicaid. Seniors and the poor most affected."
• Page 241: Doctors: no matter what speciality you have, you'll all be paid the same (thanks, AMA!)
• Page 253: Government sets value of doctors' time, their professional judgment, etc.
• Page 265: Government mandates and controls productivity for private healthcare industries.
• Page 268: Government regulates rental and purchase of power-driven wheelchairs.
• Page 272: Cancer patients: welcome to the wonderful world of rationing!
• Page 280: Hospitals will be penalized for what the government deems preventable re-admissions.
• Page 298: Doctors: if you treat a patient during an initial admission that results in a readmission, you will be penalized by the government.
• Page 317: Doctors: you are now prohibited for owning and investing in healthcare companies!
• Page 318: Prohibition on hospital expansion. Hospitals cannot expand without government approval.
• Page 321: Hospital expansion hinges on "community" input: in other words, yet another payoff for ACORN.
• Page 335: Government mandates establishment of outcome-based measures: i.e., rationing.
• Page 341: Government has authority to disqualify Medicare Advantage Plans, HMOs, etc.
• Page 354: Government will restrict enrollment of SPECIAL NEEDS individuals.
• Page 379: More bureaucracy: Telehealth Advisory Committee (healthcare by phone).
• Page 425: More bureaucracy: Advance Care Planning Consult: Senior Citizens, assisted suicide, euthanasia?
• Page 425: Government will instruct and consult regarding living wills, durable powers of attorney, etc. Mandatory. Appears to lock in estate taxes ahead of time.
• Page 425:=2 0Goverment provides approved list of end-of-life resources, guiding you in death.
• Page 427: Government mandates program that orders end-of-life treatment; government dictates how your life ends.
• Page 429: Advance Care Planning Consult will be used to dictate treatment as patient's health deteriorates. This can include an ORDER for end-of-life plans. An ORDER from the GOVERNMENT.
• Page 430: Government will decide what level of treatments you may have at end-of-life.
• Page 469: Community-based Home Medical Services: more payoffs for ACORN.
• Page 472: Payments to Community-based organizations: more payoffs for ACORN.
• Page 489: Government will cover marriage and family therapy. Government intervenes in your marriage.
• Page 494: Government will cover mental health services: defining, creating and rationing those services.

Gotta go now. I'm too sick to carry on.

Ms. Georgie

Peach Mint Julep... sounds yummy!

2009-07-28T13:18:00.003-04:00

I'm drooling just thinking about combining two of my favorite southern treats! I have never thought about making a mint julep with PEACHES. Oh me, oh my, it just sets my little ol' taste buds a tingling. I can tell that my butt is going to be sitting in one of these fine places very, very soon to check out this delightful sounding concoction. After I've imbibed a few, I will then have to figure out a way to make a pitcher for my front porch friends!

This came to me via email. They must know how much I love my mint juleps!

Cocktail lovers & fruit enthusiasts,

Celebrate National Peach Month at Atlanta's Gerber Bars, Whiskey Park, Whiskey Blue & the Living Room lounges, by sipping on the newest seasonal cocktail, the Peach Mint Julep. The summer libation is made with fresh diced peaches, handcrafted to pay tribute to Georgia's favorite fruit. If you need an excuse, peaches are great sources of carotene, potassium and natural sugars. Works for us!

If the recipe below doesn't make you drool, we give up.

PEACH MINT JULIP
WOODFORD RESERVE
MINT LEAVES
DICED PEACHES
SIMPLE SYRUP
$12

Whoo hoo, Mint Juleps are on the menu...

2009-07-22T07:42:00.002-04:00

I love it when those who supposedly know everything tell us things I want to hear and believe. Miss Etta, your little vignette saying two alcoholic drinks a day can stave off dementia are in that 'want to and will" believe category. Please, please do not ever tell me that they have decided differently as they are wont to do.

Only two a day though? Well, that is a lady-like amount I do suppose, so I will constrain myself as my Mama would expect.

I have been reading back over some of the doings and goings-on that have been happening on the front porch while I traipse off all over the world. I do so miss rambling with you ladies.

What interesting and very sad times we are living in. Who would have ever thought that our America would so quickly go away?

When I was growing up I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to what they were doing at our Capital. I was off flitting about, being led by my nose at times into believing some mess that was the craze all the while thinking I was being independent and bucking the system.

If it was establishment I was against it.

What I didn't realize is how I was being herded by the media, by those very people I was thinking I was rebelling against. Although, the word rebellion never crossed my mind!

How easily our youth are led. They go to college and are surrounded by a certain mind-set and they swallow it hook, line and sinker. They think they're different, they think they're going to make the world a better place. Instead their sponge-like minds are being saturated with things that ultimately hurt the very thing they think they're fighting for.

Those who are truly individuals, who are truly strong, aren't sucked into the latest campus fads, into voting like their friends, into doing what the herd is doing.

If only they could stand above the fray, somehow move above what the crowd is doing (all being independent! ha) and see what they're really doing. Impossible I suppose.

They think they're working for a better future. They are being spoon-fed crap in strawberry jelly and they think it's good. Some day, some day, they will reap the crop they're sowing and they will look back, as I look back, and see just how stupid they were. They will see that they truly weren't independent. They will see that they just followed the herd.

There are some who buck the crowd, who choose their own path. I think those are the ones who may save the country. Either that or they'll find Galt's Gulch and build their own utopia, away from the masses who have their hands out, who think they're "owed" something.

Well, my ladies, I think it's time to stop this tirade. I am so frustrated and feel so helpless about all I see happening. I want the entire country to show up at the next Tea Party!

Missing you greatly,
The long-lost Miss Faye

Coming Soon to a Doctor Near You! Orders to Kill from the Government

2009-07-22T06:29:00.004-04:00

Sit down, my friends, before you fall over. I'm beginning to think we all live in a really bad movie.

Our esteemed elected officials up in Washington are considering health care reform. We all know this. But do you know that hidden in the bill are several items that make me refill my julep juice everytime I hear about it?

It would appear that private health care will be a thing of the past. No longer can you choose. I guess that means our esteemed elected officials think we're too stupid to make our our choices about anything. And, I mean anything regarding our health.

Yep, my friends, it would appear the government will choose when you die. What? Yep. If you get sick with whatever defines that in their world, they will choose a doctor who will write end of life orders for you. Excuse me? END OF LIFE ORDERS? What? Now the government will tell us when we are useless to society? Who will they choose first? Those with cancer? Diabetes? Heart conditions? Asthma? Wounded veterans? Automobile accident victims? Burn victims? HIV patients? The common cold?

Oh. And, of course, our esteemed elected officials and federal government employees are exempt. Guess that means they are the only ones approved for life. This gives being pro-life a whole new meaning.

My message? Read the health care bill thoroughly. Let your esteemed elected officials know where you stand.

And all of this is on top of the President saying yesterday that he really didn't have a clue as to what was in the bill. Yet, he's trying to push it through in the next week or so. Hmmm. Inquiring minds want to know--- why?

Want Some More Juice in Your Life?

2009-07-13T08:12:00.002-04:00

Ah, my front porch was a might wet this morning. Lots of rain and thunder overnight was in our area. So, after I had to retreat back inside for a towel, I saw a couple of news stories that had me ready for our daily porch swing amblings.

First, I am pleased to announce that official studies now support our little daily use of julep juice. Yeppers, that's right. The study says that older people appear to benefit from one or two alcoholic drinks per day. Seems it's supposed to help keep dementia away. Now they also said we couldn't have more than that, or our chances would increase. I know I'm not that old, but I'm in training to get there.

The other story which caught my eye was one on an interactive exhibition over in Germany that, well, (how does one put it gently?) allows one to touch mannequins in order to learn to please behind closed doors. Can you imagine? Do they have a mannequin that says it has a headache, too? Or one that is too tired? They do have one to measure spanking and other various assorted, well, I can't even say it without blushing.

I best go load up on some morning julep juice to calm down the blush in my face! And you just thought it was the mint in the julep that made me blush!

Miss Etta

Will the King's Horses and Men Let Humpty Dumpty Fall Now?

2009-07-06T14:27:00.003-04:00

Is the shell of Humpty Dumpty starting to crack? Will his yessirthankyouverymuchmayIhave anothersir men start to let it?

There's plenty of talk surfacing, even from the Joe Biden that the we'regonnacreatjobsintheemergencygottahaveitstimulusplan is failing and that Americans are being scammed. There's talk from Colin Powell saying the president needs to slow down and look at the red tape and costs of his plans. There's talk of moderate Dems getting antsy over their increasing lack of appeal from their voters. There's talk of the president's popularity falling down.

Are some people starting to wake up and realize that the inexperience of Humpty Dumpty could lead to a fall? Will his men and horses attempt to put it back together or will they start to stand for Americans, you know, the ones who voted for them?

Just wondering, my friends.

Ms. Georgie

Questions You Need to Ask Your Representatives over July 4th

2009-06-25T10:40:00.002-04:00

Well, now that you found that last little article, I went on a search and found another one for us all to read. These questions are good and should be answered by every politician who dares to show up over the July 4th weekend to celebrate the good ole USA.

Of course, I think I will add a fourth question- since it is the 4th-- Will you be happy to have your family's healthcare governed by a bean counter and not by your physician? Will you be giving up your special over the top healthcare plan you get in Congress and be treated like a regular Joe?

Here are the questions with the accompanying story for you.

THREE QUESTIONS POLITICIANS MUST ANSWER BEFORE THEY VOTE ON OBAMA’S PROPOSED GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER OF HEALTH CARE
President Obama, together with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, has been working tirelessly over the last several weeks to put a positive spin on his proposed government takeover of America’s health care system.

During next week’s July 4th Congressional Recess (effectively running from June 29th to July 6th) Members of Congress will be gauging their constituents’ reaction to the Obama plan. Some will be doing a sales-pitch, others will be bashing it, and still others will just be testing the waters to see what the voters think......
http://www.freedomworks.org/publications/three-questions-politicians-must-answer-before-the-0

Georgie Gal

Did Obama Say We Should Kill the Old Folks to Save Money Last Night?

2009-06-25T10:20:00.004-04:00

Friends of the Front Porch Swing,

Didn't I tell you recently that I thought the government would soon be stooping down and figuring out when was the best age and time to put us down so we can push up daisies for a living? If you watched the dog and pony show last night, then you heard it live. If you didn't, then I've found an article for you to read.

Oh- the enlightened one also enlightened us on his personal belief of his health plan for his family. He wouldn't use it. So, would members of Congress have to use it or would they be deemed too important?

Read the story here: Did Obama Say We Should Kill the Old Folks to Save Money Last Night?

Taxing Thoughts

2009-05-14T08:54:00.003-04:00

My, oh my, oh my. All the news lately has been just so distressing to me. How have you been taking it all?

First, there is chatter that our beloved free country might soon not be allowed to express our thoughts freely. Hmm. I kinda thought the first amendment in our country's Constitution addressed that. But no, it would appear that our great (cough) thinkers up in DC know so much more about mind control and what free thinking or speaking might do to a public mind.

And, then our wonder kids up there are proposing taxing sugar drinks like soda. My goodness. What will we do? Will that tax apply just to sugery drinks? If so, I should be safe as I only drink the carbonated non-sugary kinds. But just in case, I might have to go and stock up on my favorite type of caffeine fix.

And lest we forget, they now want to offer free healthcare to all and have all the taxpayers ante up the money. Sounds like a scam to me. I'm getting decent healthcare, even if my old doc thinks that julep juice is not quite healthy for me. Hmmmppp. What does he know? Well, I suspect he knows much more about taking care of me than some bean counter up in DC.

This morning's news just about did me in. My favorite mint julep horse winner, Mine That Bird, will have to run the Preakness without Calvin? Such a team they made at the Julep Juice Race.
I hear that Calvin is going to do the proverbial "switching horses in the middle of the race' trick and ride that hot filly. I'm so torn about this. Being a gentile filly myself, I have to root for a gal as she runs this weekend. Of course, if I was being chased by a group of hot, sweaty stallions, I might giddy up pretty well. too. And what of Mine That Bird? Will he see Calvin and think "I must stay with him?" Or will he decide to punish him by taking on that filly? So many questions running around in my head. I guess I'll have to watch the race to see the answers.

In the meantime, I'm off to have a bowl of Druggios, you know, what we used to call Cheerios before our government decided it is an unapproved drug? Come on. Why, mothers have been giving Cheerios to their children for generations. Wait. Is that why our country is.......?

Cheerio-
Miss Etta

Better Cry "Wolf", Er," Swine"

2009-05-01T11:25:00.003-04:00

Have you been taking anytime to watch the newscasters wring their hands in glee as they use scare tactics on us? Why, I never!

That's right. I've never seen such a case of crying wolf, er, swine in my life. Is the world going to end on this influx of mild influenza? Oh my, it's a pandemic! Beware!

So, wash your hands. So, don't intentionally scare the generic population who blindly follow the talking heads. Oh, the horror of it all.

And here in Georgia, why, we had to go and import someone so we could be in on all the fun of being in the news our own selves. After there have been over 100 cases so far in a country with millions of people and one Mexican has died on American soil.

Will the spread continue? I 'spect so, but I will wash my hands often and then wash my parched throat with another swig of julep juice. After all, it seems to cure most of my ills.

Ms. Georgie

Chicken Squawk on a Piggy Day

2009-04-28T09:41:00.005-04:00

I was out yesterday doing my chicken thing. You know, the kind of mindless talk you have with some friends while you all just stand around and scratch the ground like a big group of chickens? The kind of talk where you can solve all the problems of the world? The kind of talk that just lets you vent your opinion? The kind of talk where you can just squawk and squawk? Yep, it was one of those days.

So many topics to consider this morning. The swine flu, which in truth is a type of human flu, has people so scared that now some folk are afraid to eat pork. I don't see that as a problem, as long as the pork is cooked. And then, there are the folks that say the Big Cheese in DC was conveniently in Mexico right before the breakout. Guess those folks in DC will be using this flu outbreak as their reason to protect us all from our own healthcare and mandate it.

And, then of course, there are the companies who are going in to panic mode. Can you believe it? I just heard of a local employer that will no allow handshakes or hugs. Course, I gotta wonder who has been doing the hugging anyway. Just thinking of having to hug some of the people I've worked with over the years is enough to give me body aches and chills.

And to top it off, there is now a group willing to pay the President something like $25 million for his original birth certificate. Why pay it to him? Why make him rich when all he craves is power? Why not offer it to someone, anyone, who can produce it? Why, there might be a long line from a certain town in an undisclosed location. Bet that money could go a long way for the shrine they are building.

Well, enough of my chicken talk. Enough of my squawking. Now, it's time to make some more julep syrup. Got a big day coming up soon and I've yet to study the horses.

Miss Etta

Just Give Me One for the Road

2009-04-22T07:00:00.003-04:00

I'm in love! From now on, I'll just need one of my julep juice drinks a day. I know you gals are probably wondering how can that be?

Well, my friends, let me share the good news with you. The world's largest mint julep cup, which incidentally holds something like 206 gallons of my favorite beverage, will be on display this year up at the big fancy dancy horse race in Kentucky.

Just imagine. Just one glass full and I'm set for the day. 'Course, I gotta wonder if how big the mint spring is on top of the glass. Think it's large enough for me to put a pool lounger in the top of the glass so I can just lean over to take my dainty sips? Heck, wonder if it's big enough for us all just to dive in and swim to our hearts are content?

From now on, I'll just have to decline a second julep juice and just say, "I'll take one for the road, please."

Miss Etta

I Don't Drink Tea, but I Loved the Parties

2009-04-16T20:50:00.001-04:00

You know, I made the rounds of the Tea Parties the other day, and I
went as myself, even though I gave careful consideration to wearing a
mask on account of that report stating that the federal government
would be watching very closely and investigating us dissenters. Then I
decided, shoot, my finger prints are already in the system from when I
applied for my gun permit not so long ago, and now that i bank at a
nationalized financial institution, they have access to all my
financial information (not that they didn't already), so off I went in
my very own face. And yes, I smiled the whole time just in case they
were taking my picture.

I'm gonna' tell you what, when me and my 15,000 new best friends sang
the national anthem, why it just gave me goosebumps. (But, no, chills
did not run up and down my leg like they did on that fella who was
following Obama during the campaign said they did him whenever he
heard Obama speak.) (Don't that just beat all?)

But what really warmed my cockles was all those handmade signs bearing
multi-syllable words and expressing complex thoughts. Didn't see the
first one that just said "change" or "hope" or "change you can believe
in." Not the first one.

So all in all, it did my heart good. Let's just hope the momentum is
just beginning.

Till next time,
Miz Vul

My Cup Runneth Over

2009-04-16T14:48:00.005-04:00

Three cheers for all the Tax Day Tea Parties. It seems like there was one on almost every street corner in America. Some estimates I've seen today say over 750,000 Americans participated in them. So, I guess that can be considered a movement. So, when will the news media cover them? Oh, that's right. They won't. Yeah, I heard of all the off color jokes told about the tea parties. Guess ya gotta make fun of what you're afraid of, eh?

From what I saw up close and personal and on the only news station brave enough to cover it, the protest against excessive government spending was quite dignified. From what I heard from the partygoers is the overwhelming sense of wanting to save our country. Wonder if anyone is listening?

You gals seen the latest and greatest silver cup unveiled for the tight lipped and proper sipping of our very own favorite mason jar julep juice yet? Why, I almost lost my teeth on the price of it. It's a thousand smackers. Can you believe it? Ok, so it's sterling silver and all. Hey, the good thing is the proceeds do go to help the permanently disabled jockeys.

Wonder if there's a silver plated mason jar that will go to help us gals when we become disabled due to all the heavy lifting of our jars? Maybe we'll end up qualifying for a bailout.

Cheerio,
Miss Etta

Wincing with Every Bite

2009-04-15T07:08:00.002-04:00

Tis tax day, my front porch friends. I've completed the awful chore of getting them ready and have even filed them. Gotta tell ya, it was like biting down on a lemon. It was sour and certainly not a pleasant experience.

I'll be interested to hear about all those Tax Day Tea Parties today. You think anyone will care to join us for a mason jar full of our very own delightful julep juice? Look for me. I'll be waving a tea bag and a mason jar at the same time.

Ms. Georgie

Well, Did You Ever

2009-04-10T13:16:00.001-04:00

Well, girlfriends, when that ship captain being held hostage by
pirates in a life raft bailed out and started to swim like crazy
towards shore, he forgot one thing: Hillary and Obama are in charge.
Being one who lives and dies by the polls, Hillary didn't want to rush
into anything when word of the pirate takeover first got to her. No,
she had to start a focus group and get a "consensus from the
international community".

Can you BELIEVE that? Even if such a thing was POSSIBLE, who CARES
what the rest of the world thinks? It's not THEIR person sitting there
in the middle of the ocean with hoodlums.

But that was a few days (read listening groups) ago. Now she's got to
scratch all those and form a new one to decide whether or not we will
pay the pirates their requested ransom.

What do y'all bet that we not only pay them, we'll create a stimulus
package for them because OBVIOUSLY if they had sufficient means they
wouldn't resort to pirating. Bless their hearts. No, no, no: sit back
and let the U.S. government do the pirating for you. We'll probably
bring 'em on into this country and set them up in housing, send them
and their families to school, and provide free healthcare for the lot
of them. And so they won't have to go back to the dirty, dangerous,
tiring world of pirating, why don't we just put them to work building
some of those roads?

No, wait: these people have all the skill sets needed to make fine
financial market CEO's. And I hear Obama and Franks (the CEO's of all
CEO's) are hiring.

Oh, shoot. I need a julep now worse than ever.

Miz Vul

With Thoughts of Commemorating

2009-04-08T21:13:00.001-04:00

Miss Etta,

Though I'm quite familiar with what some folks call The Kentucky Derby
(I call it Julep Celebration Day), I had not heard about that Celeste
Susany painting a picture. Huh.

Listen, I saw some silver mint julep cups over at Scott's last month.
I spect they were the real thing cause they were for sale for $169
each. When I saw the price tag, I put all 3 of them back on the shelf
VERY CAREFULLY. Shoot, I figure juleps taste just as good out of a
sweating mason jar as they would out of a sweating silver cup that has
to be polished every now and then.

You thinking we oughta see about commissioning somebody to at least
take our picture? We could call it Drinking Towards Destiny.

Just a thought.

Miz Vul

Seen Our Very Own Julep Bottle?

2009-04-08T08:12:00.003-04:00

Whoopppeeee. Have you heard the news? We've become so very famous with our minty julep juice that a famous equine artist is going to depict us on a bottle!

No, wait. It's not exactly us, my swilling friends who love the minty fresh taste. It's, well, it's for the place where we got our little ole selves hooked.

What? Doncha remember when we all went up to see that big horse race in Kentucky? We wore such cute hats and had those wonderful Mint Juleps!

This year, in celebration of 22 years of the Mint Julep being the official drink at the Kentucky Derby, Celeste Susany has been commissioned for an an original oil painting of Churchill Downs. I've read the painting this year is called "Dueling Towards Destiny" and shows two horses racing towards the finish line with the cheering crowds and the Twin Spires in the background.

Did you know over 2 million of our fancy drinks have been served up there? I wonder how that compares with how many we serve ourselves? How do I love Julep Juice? Let me count the ways.

Miss Etta

So Much for Taste

2009-04-03T18:34:00.005-04:00

There I was, just taking my mornin' constitutional walk and singin' one of my songs when I saw it. A huge tree just decided it couldn't take all the love shown to us from nature this last week, so down it went- Right into the roof of the new addition on the house. The addition was so new that the siding hadn't even been painted yet. Whew, I thought. How lucky for the homeowner.

I imagine the homeowner was counting the blessings when position of the tree was noted. After all, if the new addition hadn't been there, well, let's just say the owner probably would have woken up with a booming headache. Yep, that ole big tree would have gone smack dab down in the bedroom area.

Sometimes, my friends, I just have to wonder. Do we really note the times we are just saved by the skin of our teeth, or just think we're darn lucky?

Ah, now speaking of lucky, did you just happpen to see that Barbie has gone and gotten her own white hat with flowers for the running of the roses? Now, you know that I'm quite partial to the old gal. I just find one thing wrong with her derby outfit.

Yep, that's it. She has no mint julep!! Doesn't she know that the tradition of my favorite greenish drink is on the line here? Why, we must fix that at once!

And here I was, thinking that she had shown such taste over the years. Well, after she lost the extreme blue eyeshadow and all.

Cheerio,

Miss Etta

Gray Thoughts on a Rainy Day

2009-03-28T09:57:00.003-04:00

I just can't believe it! Our sooooooo friendly-let's-stretch-out-a-hand-to-our-enemies leaders are thinking about letting the terrorists go free and then relocate them to our lands? This is because their own countries don't want them back? And then, our so-very-neighborly-so-very-friendly-new-residents will have to be supported by, um, us? Why, so they can plot their next moves?

Give me a break. Those detainees down there have no remorse, yet they may be free to live among us? My hair is all curled up in disbelief about this, and today, I can't blame it on the rain.

Is it ever gonna stop raining? The local creeks and now a river are either out of their banks or gonna be? Hey, is this nature's way of showing discontent over the decisions being made up north?

Don't take my word for it. Go to a great new site I found during all this rain-forced-me-inside-off-the-porch time, Living in Bizarro World, and read some comments and the story itself. Then, you too, will positively run to the store and get your julep juice makings. Could be we're in for some rough weather- not only from nature, but from the oh-so-friendly-we-love-everyone-but-our-own folks in Washington.

Happy Days are (Apparently) Here Again in Georgia

2009-03-23T04:55:00.001-04:00

Well, girlfriends, I guess y'all are as tickled as I am to know that
things in Georgia are in such fine shape as to allow legislators to
focus on a resolution commending Mr. Obama for the fine job he's done
in his first 60 days. Forget unemployment. Forget financial deficits.
Forget foreclosures and job layoffs and plant closings and crime rates
and that we're entering the season when teenagers maim and kill while
driving too fast and/or under the influence. No need to bother about
trivial things like that when we've got a President who's been in
office for almost 2 months and still hasn't been properly invited to
be an honorary member of our little ole' state legislature's black
caucus. Where are our manners?

And there's apparently not enough to occupy our legislators because
when they didn't get their way, some of them just up and left. Walked
right on out the door, grumbling under their breath and stomping their
proverbial feet. Seems to me, we elected people to spend the first
three months of the year in Atlanta crafting and studying and passing
or rejecting bills that continue the principles we Georgians hold dear
and pledge allegiance to: wisdom, justice, and moderation.

Oh, fiddle-de-de. I think I'll quite worrying my pretty little head
about it and go fix me a julep. I mean, really: if the people we
elected aren't concerned with anything more than brownnosing the
President (perhaps in hopes of getting an invite to his next party),
why should I be?

Till next time,
Miz Vul

Gonna buy me a gun. Or two.

2009-03-21T21:40:00.003-04:00

I just finished watching a YouTube video of a CNN piece in February. They said that in November gun purchases went up 42% over the previous year. They also said that there is a shortage of ammunition and across the country gun shops have up to 11 month back orders on guns.

If you happen to own stock in any gun company you own one of the few that're actually making money.

I had to have some work done on our home alarm system the other day. The owner of the company was in the area so he came by to replace the defective piece himself. Just making conversation as I have always been taught to be polite and engaging, I asked "how's business?".

He said he couldn't keep up with demand, that is was better than it had ever been.

I was surprised for less than a split second. It makes sense. Everyone knows that the harder times get the higher crime goes.

Now the reason people are buying up all those guns right now isn't just because they think times are getting ready to get real dangerous, they're also scared of what our new President's administration is going to do about our guns.

See, when President Obama was a senator, he signed onto a bill that would have increased taxes on guns 500%. Others in his administration, namely Eric Holder, have spoken out against guns in ways that have a lot of people concerned about the future of gun ownership.

There's talk of numbering bullets. That's not really a bad idea if someone commits a crime with a gun and you want to figure out where the bullet came from you may think... but that would only work if you had to register every time you bought ammunition I'd think. I'd think the bad guys would just steal bullets. Can you imagine what the costs would be to put numbers on each and every little bullet? Whoa Nellie!

Another thing "they" talk about is putting some device in guns when they're manufactured that allows guns to be traced. Now I'm not sure if they're talking about a little chip or just what they're talking about, but again I think the cost would be astronomical. And anyone who thinks that the bad guys won't just be figuring out how to get rid of those devices real quick like is balmier than my Aunt Gladys.

I hear tell that Eric Holder doesn't like gun shows either. Which seems kind of silly to me as you still have to register the gun if you buy it at a gun show.

I don't happen to own any guns but I sure would like to for the first time in my life.

Oh, oh, I almost forgot to tell you! Because I write a blog and because I want a gun and because I consider myself to be a Patriot and because I have bumper stickers on my car, I could be on the government's watch list!

Yes, little old me could be considered a potential "domestic terrorist" or a militia member.

I'm so excited.

Another "tell" is that old "Don't Tread On Me" flag. You know, the one with the snake coiled up with the thirteen spots to signify the thirteen colonies that were in existence when it was thought up? I have decided to go out and buy a flag to put on my lawn so they'll know where to find me.

Well, I may joke about this, but in reality I find it rather scary that simply being patriotic and caring enough to write a blog could bring me to the eye of Big Brother.

All that I just talked about is in the government's "The Modern Militia Movement" info. I gather it was put out by the Missouri folks, so I'm not real sure if it's part of a national thing or just something they developed. I heard Glenn Beck talking about it and read an article or two about it, but none of them were real clear about who, what, when or where.

I guess I really don't rank yet though because wanting to buy a gun and actually owning a gun are very different.

Here are a few other things included in that 'signs you may be a member of the militia" booklet:

- writing about the Constitution (check)
- supporting third party candidates like Ron Paul or Bob Barr (not yet, but it our Republican politicians don't get their act together I might be willing to lean third-party_
- attending one of those tax protest tea parties (check)
- writing about taxes (check), North American Union (check), or illegal immigration (check)
- being a conservative Christian (check)

It is really scary when you think about it!

There are so many scary things going on in our country right now. Everything that is good seems to be under attack and I just feel so helpless to do anything about it. I am trying though which is why you all don't hear from me much and why I find so little time to sit on the porch these days.

Which reminds me of another good stock to own: alcohol companies. I have decided that right after I buy my guns, I'm going to start stockpiling every kind of booze I can find. If it gets really bad people the currency of alcohol will probably be better than that of gold don't you think?

Hope to talk soon ladies, I surely do miss you!

Miss Faye

Toastmasters (could come) to the Rescue

2009-03-20T20:03:00.001-04:00

Hey Y'all,

I've had to take a break from listening to those fools in Washington.
The doctors have warned me to stay away on account of the way it
raises my blood pressure, even though the pharmaceutical companies
would undoubtedly be glad to have me as a regular user. Anyway, today
I couldn't stand it any longer, so I turned the radio on for just a
minute this morning, and I have to ask: have y'all heard that Robert
Gibbs speak? The White House Press Secretary can't seem to start a
sentence with anything but silence or a string of "ah's" and "um's".
It's nervewracking to listen to him. Makes him sound like a damn liar.
I am thinking of sending him a little message suggesting he join a
Toastmasters group that meets near him. They've got somebody at every
meeting who counts the "ah's" and "um's" and other fillers, and by
golly, they announce it at the end of the meeting. Then today he goes
and makes a wiseass comment about does anybody have a dollar so so-and-
so can go buy a paper to read the answer to his question. I, for one,
did not find that especially funny.

And don't even get me started about when the British Prime Minister
came to town and Obama was TOO TIRED to do it up right. The Obamas can
throw a party and serve $100/lb steaks and hire Earth, Wind, and Fire
to entertain and the Marine Band to play during breaks. They can have
game systems set up for all the children (you think those kids are
coached ahead of time to let the Obama girls win?) and adults alike,
but they can't follow protocol when the British Prime Minster comes to
call? Does that make sense to anybody?

Oh, and it gets better. This one just slays me: The President is
stressed. He's tired and stressed and surprised at how hard the job
is. Has the man ever looked at pictures of preceding presidents on
Inauguration Day and exit day? As Super Chicken always said to his
cohort when the whining and complaining set in, "You knew this job was
dangerous when you took it, Fred."

I've got to go have me a dose of blood pressure medicine and wash it
down with a mint julep or three. Then tomorrow I'm thinking about
going to get me one of those clicker thingies and start counting the
fillers that come out of that Press Secretary's mouth.

If I can stand to listen to the fool long enough. I've got my blood
pressure to watch, you know. I have never seen such a fiasco as we
have going on in Washington right now. They ought to be ashamed.

Talk to you later.

Miz Vul

Is Barbie's Age the Issue?

2009-03-05T07:05:00.002-05:00

Oh, come on. Can't you see why that silly government-yeah-I-only-do-what-I-was-sent-here-for maniac would want Barbie's head on the old chopping block?

She's gotten older, and well, let's face it. Her health may not be what it used to be and well, she may need to start using doctors for some things (unless she's been doing that somewhere else so her fans wouldn't know), and before you know it, she'll have used up all her health care benefits and Medicare may have to step in. With the proposed health care reform which would ration health care, well, Barbie would be on the short end of the stick with the rest of us who have passed the 50 year mark.

Fight Barbie, fight. Fight for your right to live free in America!

Miss Etta

Barbie Turns 50 and Now Faces Being Killed by Lawmakers

2009-03-04T15:09:00.003-05:00

Be still my heart! Some crazy coot in West Virginia (and yes, that is still a state in the United States) has submitted legislation to ban Barbie! Apparently, the coot who must not have ever, never played with GI Joe, thinks Barbie's beauty is just too much. He thinks her beauty takes away from her intelligence.

Give me a break. First, every, and I mean every, red blooded American girl and many across the world have played Barbie for 50 years! And, if you really look into her eyes and at her eye makeup from the earlier days, well, that didn't stop me from getting a college education. Nope. It didn't stop any of my friends from becoming business owners and Presidents of corporations. Shoot. In my day, Barbie used to take out Ken and GI Joe in one fatal blow.

Give me a break. You gals want to weigh in on this crazy scheme? I think it's just part of the overall conspiracy to end life as we know it. No Barbie? What is this world? Crazy? Hmm, think I'll pull out my Barbie boat and serve up some of my delicious glasses of julep juice. She's gonna need it when I tell her.

A Little Ownership Goes a Long, Long Way

2009-03-04T08:56:00.001-05:00

'Morning friends,

Last night hubbie and I popped in a movie to complement our bedtime
juleps, and he chose "The Untouchables". I have to tell you girls, it
was quite discombobulating watching Eliott Ness bring down Al Capone
on charges of tax evasion. "Shoot," I said to the mister, "Capone was
just ahead of his time. Had he been living now, he would've just
written a check and gone on to assume a high level office in the
federal government."

My inquiring mind is on the loose again, and I'm wondering how so many
of Mr. Obama's "trusted allies" can whip out the checkbook and dash
off a check for tens of thousands of dollars. If they had the money in
their checking account all along, why didn't they just pay the damn
taxes when they were due?

This morning I read where Mr. Obama's team is going after Switzerland
for their long-standing policy of privacy. Gonna' make the Swiss
disclose names of Americans who have money in their banks. It's not
enough that the U.S. government keeps tabs on our deposits and
withdrawals here in our own country, now they are going global.

Now I realize that the Bank Secrecy Act of 1970 was enacted to expose
and deter money-laundering, and I realize that lots of lawbreakers
park their money in offshore banks and I'm all for punishing those who
commit illegal activity, but it does not escape my imagination that
the government (wouldn't be surprised if they soon require me to
capitalize that word) is trying to keep as much of our money as
possible in the United States. And it scares me to death to think
about the possible consequences of that - not for the lawbreakers, but
for law-abiding people who live beneath their means and happen to have
nest eggs they'd like to keep for and spend on themselves.

According to one news report on Yahoo.com, there's about $2.2 trillion
in Swiss banks, and though that's not nearly enough, I'm sure the
government realizes that it's an amount that would sure go a long way
towards keeping AIG afloat for another month or so or produce a few
automobiles or help build a super-road between Los Angeles and Las
Vegas or help a single mother raise 8 babies.

This guy Carl Levin from Michigan is leading the charge, calling for a
ban on so-called tax avoidance plans, and he has asked - of all people
- Timothy Geithner to talk to folks at the Group of 20 meeting in
April and get them on board. Tim Geithner, the new Treasury Secretary
who had to whip out his checkbook and pay back taxes (no penalties or
interest like the rest of us would've had to pay, mind you) on his way
into the confirmation hearings.

I declare, I might eventually be able to convince myself that
Geithner's experience with tax avoidance gives him credibility - but
only if the juleps don't run out.

So, so frustrated with all the nincompoops

2009-03-03T19:59:00.003-05:00

Well, first of all, hi ya'll. It has been a long time since I stopped in to chew the fat. I know, I know, that is not a proper phrase for a perpetually dieting kind of gal to use, but you all know me: if it pops into the ol' brain it's going out the mouth or onto the screen.

Now, down to business because I know you are wondering what nincompoops I'm referrin' to in that title. Some of you are wondering, but I believe my minty sisters will know exactly to whom I am referencing. Was that proper English? Oh well, just call it Missfayenglish and move on if it's not.

Nincompoops. Dummies. Stoooopid. Those idiots in Washington D.C. who are busily tearing down everything that is good about our America. Are they all drinking some special brand of kool-aid? Does our new President have some sort of hypnotic powers or is the media brainwashing every last one of them boys and girls up there?

Even miss-I-can't-balance-a-check-book-to-save-my-life knows you can't just keep reaching into the till to grab money, or in their case print money. There are just so many heads of lettuce that will grow in a patch before they become puny and worthless. You have to fertilize the soil and take some care with the basics.

These dummies are telling us we can have all the lettuce we want and they are forgetting you have to water the darned stuff and fertilize it and weed it and you know all the stuff you have to do to make things grow.

They are ignoring all our small businesses. They are fixing to tax us to shreds. Ya'll don't think that if they tax those people at the top that they're just going to sit back and take it do you? Don't you think that they'll just up their prices or fire a few folks or not build some new factory they were going to build? What's next? Is the government going to force people to stay in their jobs? Will they stop them from raising their prices?

We are getting ready to be just like Venezooayla or Cuba.

All you people with your hands out better take those hands and start using them to earn some money. You want me to pay your way you have another thing coming cause I'll just stop working and stick my hands out right along side yours. Then who's going to pay for your food?

You remember that book by Ayn Rand where all the people who work hard and are self sufficient just pick up themselves and go away? You don't think it can happen in this country? Take a look at history and you'll see that every time government gets too big for its britches and starts expecting people with brains and self respect to pay for those who like coasting along on coat tails, those smart people move somewhere else. Or they just quit.

I am so angry I could just spit nails except I know that pretty soon there won't be anyone who can make good nails and if I spit 'em out they'll tax 'em.

Wake up America before you lose what you keep saying you love about this country. Get off that couch, turn off the stupid television and do something to take care of your kids future.

Whew, that felt good. I have been wanting to have a rant rage for so, so long. If you think I'd done though, you are very wrong. I'm just getting started. Next time they have one of those tea parties, I'm going to be the one throwing big juicy wet teabags.

Miss Faye

Inquiring Mind on the Loose

2009-03-03T16:38:00.001-05:00

My mama always warned me about people who talk out of both sides of
their mouth, and now we appear to have one living in the White House.
Did y'all hear him today, girls? In the midst of all his
bafoodletrigagillionmilzzilion stimulus/bailout/let's-save-America-by-
throwing-money-at-it plan - on the heel (it was just yesterday so I
don't consider that long enough to be plural heels) of AIG holding out
their tin cup again, shaking it in the direction of Washington, Mr.
Obama says that he doesn't pay any attention to Wall Street daily
gyrations, the implication being that business and government are
separate entities.

I'm so confused.

For months now, he's been jawing about how much money he's gonna'
throw at this big business and that big business, how much money he's
gonna' pass out to create jobs (none of it "pork", of course) and yet
he wants us to believe that he pays no attention to what Wall Street
does because that's business and he does government?

Government that already enjoys partial ownership in banks (which makes
me wonder if we, the taxpayers, are gonna' get dividend checks - what
do you think?). Government that will soon own equity in AIG.
Government that will soon be designing and rolling cars off the
assembly line.

The line's become blurred - more blurred than ever before - and I'm
wearing my new glasses, so it's not me.

And while I'm on a roll, I've got one more thing I want to get off my
chest (yes, Misses Etta and Faye, you're right: I have a lot more
things, but I'm running kinda' tight on time, so I'm only going for 2
today):

The Democrats habitually employ class envy to gain votes. A page right
out of the ole divide-and-conquer playbook. Mr. Obama rides into
Washington wanting to/promising to level the playing field by taking
from those who have and giving to those who need (or in many cases
want), a page right out of the socialist playbook. Then what does he
do just as soon as he lands and gets his bags unpacked and his
pictures hung? He starts throwing parties like nobody's business.
Serving steaks as big as Texas and as expensive as California business
taxes. Hiring bands to stand right in front of the television and
entertain. Puttin' on the ritz, my mama called it, and I just want to
know why he couldn't take that money and dole it out to folks in need.
(Or want.)

This inquiring mind just wants to know.

And now back to my julep, already in progress . . .

Miz Vul

Honestly Naive?

2009-03-02T10:07:00.002-05:00

What a fun day we had in our little area of heaven yesterday. Didcha see all those big snowflakes? Didcha go out and play in the snow?

It's way too cold for me to risk getting frostbite on my delicate little fingers and toes whilst I wait for my gossip group to show up on the front porch this morning. So, I've been watching some mindless television.

One of the topics I keep seeing is on the Octo-mom. You know, the young woman in California who had eight babies recently? Her attitude about having the babies kinda reminds me of the general spending views up in Washington right now.

This young woman keeps saying, "I get it." Guess she doesn't understand what is involved in adding eight children to her already big brood. Her reality doesn't appear to exist.

Just like the government. Sure, they get it. They know money is tight. They know times are tough. Their solution is just like the octo-mom's.

Just go on and spend taxpayer money to take care of all of our problems.

Goodness me. I've gotta go sip on my hard earned, non government provided, non taxpayer supported julep juice. At least I can honestly see and am not naive about what the future holds for all of us if Big Brother is the only way out.

Georgie

First Down, Fumbled Hail Mary, and A Flag On The . . . Oh, Whatever

2009-02-28T09:27:00.001-05:00

Well, shoot. I missed the tea party.

Shoot.

Yes, Miss Etta, I used to go to the Rich's Tea Room, too, even though
I don't drink tea cause just the smell of it gives me a raging
headache. Raging, I tell you. Instead, I always had me a Co-Cola.
This, however, this is one tea party I fully intended to attend. I
knew about it, but somehow didn't pay close enough attention to the
date. How I missed that is beyond me. Too much going on around here, I
guess.

Or maybe one too many juleps.

No, too many juleps is simply not possible. Perish the thought.

Do you suppose they'll have another one any time soon? My first
protest march. I sure did want it to be themed. Oh well. I'm certain
there'll be another opportunity. There has to be because we cannot
stand for these plans that will lead us straight down the path to
bankrupt socialism. If we follow the plans I've been reading about,
we'll plow right through socialism much faster than we went through a
republic.

I've been wanting to conjure up a football analogy so the vast
majority of people would "get it", wake up and smell the stark,
dismal, empty-pocketed future. But as I googled football and watched
snippets of games on you tube, i realized that it didn't matter
because the vast majority of people are so completely, totally,
gobsmacked in love with Obama, not even a football analogy could get
through. Plus, let's face it: there are way too many people here today
who vote for a living and love nothing better than availing themselves
of class envy. So who am I kidding and why do I waste any more of my
time?

Won't be long before I'll be stocking up on ingredients for juleps.
For now, though, I'll just imbibe what I already have on hand. I need
it after talking about this. I sure do.

Miz Vul

P.S. Did y'all see that bumper sticker that says "OBAMA: One Bad Ass
Mistake, America"? Though I think it's downright funny, I wouldn't
DARE put one on my car (and I've cautioned my junior juleps the same)
for fear of coming out to find that my car looking like one of those
fundraiser we used to have where you pay 50-cents for a chance to beat
up a car with a seriously big hammer. It's unfortunate, but it's just
the way it is today. And that, my dears, is what I'm gonna' talk about
that next time . . .

Tea in Downtown Atlanta Ain't What It Used to Be

2009-02-27T19:00:00.003-05:00

Whoooeee, what a day! All the rain couldn't keep me down today. Nope. I had to rush right on up to Atlanta and wave my precious Luzianne tea bags for the Atlanta Tea Party. I am sick and tired of all the changes in Washington that are doing nothing but bankrupting my beloved country and my bank account.

Ya'll remember what going to tea used to mean in Atlanta? Why, we would take the bus downtown with our fancy dresses, shoes, hats and sparkling white gloves just to have tea at the downtown Rich's store.

Yep, times have changed. Everytime the President opens his mouth, I have to go get a big glass of julep juice. Heck, if he keeps tanking the market each and every time his mouth opens, I'm gonna run out of juleps!

Toodles.

Here's a link to one of the many stories just in case you didn't get to go your own selves.

http://novus2.com/wordpress/?p=3324

Miss Etta

Flunking Math

2009-02-24T21:51:00.001-05:00

Miss Etta,

I have been thinking a lot of late about that famous (much-needed and
successful) historical Tea Party. Glad to hear there's a move afoot to
stage a sequel. Count me in. I'll wear my angry/fed-up/disgusted
American citizen clothes. Just need enough notice to be sure I have
time to wash them.

Girls, I'm gonna' tell you what: math is just not my favorite subject.
Therefore, I don't practice much. Therefore, I'm not especially good
at it. So maybe that's why I am totally confused and perplexed when I
hear Mr. Obama talk about this trimabajillion so-called stimulus
package in all its glorious wonderality then, in the same paragraph,
he assures us that by the end of his first term in office, he will
have reduced the nation's deficit by half. Huh? Can one of you
girlfriends explain that to me? Only thing I can figure is that he's
counting on jacking-up the taxes like nobody's business.

That or he can't remember that his first term is only 4 years.

Gonna' go fix me up a glass of julep and play a little bingo. With the
right size glass, I think I can manage all 4 cards quite nicely.

Till next time,

Miz Vul

You Have Your Tea, I'll Play Obama Bingo Tonight

2009-02-24T17:01:00.003-05:00

Miss Etta,

You go on and enjoy that cup of nice hot steaming tea. I'm getting my playcards ready for Obama Bingo tonight. In case you haven't heard, you get a bingo card and get to try and fill in as many of his catch phrases you hear in the stump speechin' tonight.

Here's the link just in case you have a hankering to try it out your own self. Remember, this is for tonight only!!

Obama Bingo Night

Ms. Georgie

Tea, Anyone?

2009-02-24T15:27:00.003-05:00

My, oh my. Have you seen the grassroots project that is all the rage right now? I saw just the other day on one of the Fayette Front Page columns that Rick Santelli stood up and said we should have a taxpayers' tea party? Well, in checking around today, his suggestion has now become a movement.

According to the sources I found today, there are Tea Parties already events planned in Chicago, Washington, DC, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Fort Myers, Orlando, Greenville, SC and cities across North Carolina.

Everyone of us learned about the Boston Tea Party while in school. Doncha remember the reason? The Tea Act was passed by the English Parliament which, in everyday terms, allowed the favored treatment of one company to sell their tea. Colonists were taxed heavily for this drink of choice and, in 1773, had just about had enough of Britain and its heavy taxation.

Last time, the angry American colonists dressed as Indians. Wonder who they will dress like this time? Angry American citizens?

Enjoy your day, my sweets. I'm off to have a nice hot cup of tea.

Miss Etta

Susan B Anthony Turned 189 This Week, Her Ideas Still Young

2009-02-18T10:07:00.003-05:00

Ladies, ladies. Hold the applause. Can you believe that it was 189 years ago this week that Susan B. Anthony was born? Wow. We have come a long way.

She was just so instrumental in her fight for women's rights. Yep, now we can vote while we wash the clothes. Yep, now we can work while we clean up after the kids.

Just in case you needed a daily dose of "thinker juice", here are a couple of quotes from that lady who was so ahead of her time.

"Guilty? Yes. No matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; but oh, thrice guilty is he who...drove her to the desperation which impelled her to the crime!"

-Susan B. Anthony, The Revolution, 1869 (on abortion)

"I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand."

"I shall earnestly and persistently continue to urge all women to the practical recognition of the old Revolutionary maxim. Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God."

Miss Etta

Ah, Now I Know What Government Wants to Stimulate

2009-02-12T15:26:00.002-05:00

Don't get all excited. Well, maybe you should go get a big ole glass of julep juice first. Cause guess what the folks up in Washington want to stimulate with their big ole fat juicy pork spending bill?

Are you ready? Are you sitting down Miz Vul and Georgie?

Reports are floating about that a Line Item contains $335 MILLION for adult sex workshops.

Combine that with the rumor today that Krispy Kreme may be having some severe financial issues.

Oh my goodness. Not only am I blushing terribly but now I have a craving for a nice hot Krispy Kreme donut. Anyone know where one is?

Miss Etta

Finally, I See the Plan for a Master

2009-02-12T13:06:00.002-05:00

It just hit me, and hit me hard it did. You know I've been sitting and watching all the high powered folks in Washington that are only "yessir men" fawn all over themselves and their great ability to really put one over on the American public.

Well, ok, so I did make a few phone calls and sent some emails with my thoughts clearly stated to my representatives. Anyway--

With the alleged healthcare plan, or rather lack of any healthcare for the older or sick population, in the final bill (if it stays as is) comes the perfect way to end the housing shortage. After all, all those good Americans over the age of 50 (or wahtever age is determined to be old) will be deemed elderly and therefore, of no use to the new government. They get sick and wham-o, they can't be treated. So they die and there's all this nice housing available for anyone to poach, cause after all, we'll have redistributed all of the over 50 crowd wealth to everyone else.

Just wonder if all those high powered Washington types realize that they, too, are on that list to be euthanized by their own votes in the last week or so? Will the age have to be raised to 55 since the new pres is almost 50?

I wonder what will happen when the young healthy crowd who has so embraced the new regime realize that they, too, will have yearly birthdays and their chances of illness go up.

Me? I suspect I'll be given a nice green pill when I go to the doctor. And then... silence.

With that said, I'll go enjoy the sun today and plant some mint. After all, today I have my health and my freedom.

Georgie gal

Depressing Times, uh, Depressing Events

2009-02-10T10:07:00.003-05:00

Uh, did you listen to the President, uh, last night? Uh, did you hear him talk of uh, the depressing times, and, uh, depressing events for baseball? Uh, what happened to the confident man? Uh, the world ends in two minutes. Uh, uh, uh.

Friends of mine, I just couldn't believe my ears. Obama exuded confidence and was so eloquent when he campaigned. Last night, he sounded lame and spoke as well as a 6th grader who got caught smoking in the boys room. Unbelievable.

Now, this am, both sides of the aisle don't know how the mandated government decisions for your and my healthcare got in the bill? Excuse me? Why not? How is it that they don't know? How is it that they think the government should tell the doctors who and how to treat? Did the government go to medical school? Do they keep up with all advances? I just heard a Democratic Senator say that patients should not be treated for multiple problems. Unbelievable.

Obama was so right last night. These are depressing times. I best go refill my julep juice and get myself a bigger glass. I think I'm going to need it today.

You know, my ice cubes are about gone from last summer. I can't wait for the sun and some fresh mint to spring up in the garden.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

2009-02-07T14:44:00.000-05:00

Tee hee. Tee hee.

My little baby just came in with some schoolwork and I just have to share with you.

Question: A culprit is _____.
Answer: My baby said charming.

Guess my baby has been seeing too many politicians speaking lately.

Charming, isn't it?

Georgie

Donations Accepted Right Here

2009-02-07T10:32:00.001-05:00

Miss Etta, I think you have conjured-up a fine idea: let's all just
tell the government (or, as you more appropriately call them "those
high powered money spending fools") to go ahead and write us a check.
You're right: we can surely qualify for our fair share of that pork,
and do it at a reasonable enough price that we've got enough to spend
on barbecue sauce to boot.

And, as if that isn't enough, WE OURSELVES can take the tax write-off
for charitable donation.

I remember getting a letter from Coweta-Fayette, the local electric
duopoly, offering me the glorious opportunity to pay my bill each
month AND send in a little extra, too. They'd take that extra, add it
up with everybody else's extra, and dole it out to various charities
and whatnot. I wrote them a letter right back and told them I'd be
making my own selections about what and who to support. Why do I want
some electric company deciding who I help/support with my money? That
was several years ago. Well, this month didn't I get a bill for the
electric at our new house, and there it was: "round up" and an extra
charge. Though there wasn't any kind of sign next to it denoting an
explanation anywhere on the bill, I still combed through the words and
numbers carefully, finding not one single word of explanation. Just
the words and the charge. No cover letter, no explanation on the bill.
Well, don't you know that I called them right away and asked if that
was their sneaky little charge they collect then divvy up to those
they deem most in need, and the woman said "It's not sneaky, but yes,
we do collect that money then donate it to those in need" to which I
said, "When you add it to the bill as a lime item without any
explanation whatsoever, that is, too, sneaky, and I am perfectly
willing and capable to decide for myself who my money will help." She
said she took it off my bill, and I told her I wasn't paying this
month either and she said fine then.

When somebody I have no choice but to deal with tries to collect money
in such a sneaky way, I flatout blow a fuse. So yes, Miss Etta, let's
call 'em up and volunteer to take on the burden of policing and
tending to the world. I'm sick and tired of handing off my money to
high powered money spending fools who think I'm too stupid to (a)
decide where to spend my own money and (b) know that they're insulting
me.

That's the way I see it. After a steady diet of mint juleps to help me
think about it, it's still the way I see it.

Till next time,
Miz Vul

Just Go On and Write Me a Check

2009-02-06T13:53:00.002-05:00

I've been sitting here thinking while I have my daily dose of julep juice. Now I know you all will say that is a scary combination, but have no fear.

I've decided to get in touch with those high powered money spending fools up in the capital and tell them to go on and write me my check.

After all, I can go out and check the canals for all the contraceptives that the new sidewalk builders will be using. I bet you, too, can qualify for some of that porky money.

What was those song lyrics again? "I can bring home the bacon and put it in the pan."

Cheers.

Miss Etta

Continually in a dither...

2009-02-06T11:43:00.003-05:00

Ever since I started realizin' that our beloved country was headed in a wrong, wrong, wrong direction I have been in a constant state of dither. I just do not know what to do these days.

It seems every time I turn on that old nasty television I hear things that scare me plum to death. Do these people not know what they are doing to us? They act like a billion dollars is what we used to call chump change.

As I typed the phrase "chump change" it came to me that I really did not know where the term came from or whether it was appropriate in the context I just used. For those who like to unravel mysteries and love little bits of trivia, here is what "The Word Detective" had to say about it:

"Chump" first appeared in English in the early 1700s meaning "lump of wood" (possibly from a melding of "chunk" and "lump"), and by the late 1880s had acquired its modern derogatory meaning of "blockhead" or "fool." The term "chump change" seems to have first appeared in the African-American community in the late 1960s with the meaning of "small change, a negligible amount of money." The sense of the term is "an amount of money only a chump would value; a trivial amount," as opposed to larger amounts of "real money."

Now, back to my dither tantrums.

A little over half of the people who bothered to vote last year voted for Mr. Obama. I won't quibble about whether the voting was honest and above-board, it is done and we're dealing with the spilt milk at this time.

Now, all those people who didn't vote and just under half of those who could, don't believe in change as defined by Mr. Obama. In fact, I would bet a brand new parasol that quite a few of those who DID happen to vote for Mr. Obama did not have the slightest little clue what he actually stood for.

So, when you put all those numbers into a hat and stir them up, he can not say that most Americans want his brand of change. I certainly do believe that if you took his personality and the surrounding hype away and had all voters take a test as to what they would like for our country, Mr. Obama's brand of change would lose.

For the first time in my life I am utterly scared about the future that is on the near horizon.

I am trying to do my every lovin' best to fire people up and get them to yell loud, but I am not even sure if anyone in Washington is listening or really cares these days. I think they are set on a path and have blinders stuck on both sides of their eyeballs and cotton balls in their ears.

Well, my ancestors, may they rest in solid peace and thank goodness they are not seeing this day, fought hard and long for our country. They risked their lives to fight for the freedoms we seem hell-bent on throwing away.

I will fight with the pen and with my words to preserve our country. I can only hope that there are enough of us out there with backbone and strength to do battle. I don't know if we will succeed, but I know I will go down fighting.

- Miss Faye

Hit the Road, Not the Pool

2009-02-06T11:15:00.003-05:00

Goodness sakes alive. I don't know which has me more upset these days. Is it the weather? Is it the economy and the alleged rescue plan? Or is it the Michael Phelps fall from the pedestal?

I was shocked, yes, just plain out shocked when the photo appeared in which Phelps appears to be bonging it in South Carolina. I think he should be punished and I guess some others agree with me on that point.

I wonder if the law in South Carolina will try him on drug charges, or if that is just too much to ask. The Mr. tells me that Phelps could have been photoshopped in to the picture and that he could always say he had no "intention" of inhaling whatever was in that bong. (Seems like that argument is in vogue in Washington these days.) The Mr. thinks it's a no win situation for the law enforcers there.

On the other hand, I am so glad to hear this morning that Kellogg's has decided Phelps needs to come right of off of that cereal box. And I also hear that USA Swimming has banned him from even jumping up on the pedestal at the pool for three months. Personally, I think it should have been a minimum of 6 months.

At least, someone will try to get the message out to him that he made a BAD choice. That's right, Michael, come on off that pedestal for awhile. You're a champ when swimming but recent events make you less than desirable at our local pool.

Yall go on in now and warm up some.

Georgie

Off to an Interesting Start

2009-01-24T14:02:00.001-05:00

Hey Misses Faye and Etta,

Did y'all know that on Obama's first day in office, only the White
House photographer was allowed to take pictures of Obama behind that
big ole desk of his? And later in the day, when he and whatzhisname
from the Supreme Court (the one who didn't bother to write the oath
down, the one who forgot that cockiness goes before embarrassment in
front of millions of people) redid the oath, they allowed only the
White House photographers to record it? The press was presented with a
single photo of each event and told that was all they were allowed to
use. Doesn't that just send chills up your back? Smacks of government-
owned/controlled media to me. Oh, they're as mad as a wet hen, those
media types. After all, they're the ones who played a major part in
getting Obama into that office in the first place, and now here he is
refusing to dance with the ones that brung him.

But then I read about how earlier this week the Obama folk sent a
pretty strong message via missile, so that gave me a whisper of hope
that he and his folk are not going to completely sell-out America to
all the highest bidder. Guess we'll just have to wait and see about
that, though, won't we girls? We sure are gonna' have a lot to talk
about.

Gotta' scoot. Gonna' try to get me some of that TARP.

Till next time,
Miz Vul

What They Tryin' to Stimulate Again?

2009-01-23T16:01:00.002-05:00

Did I hear it right? I was thunderstruck when I saw the video which says part of the Obama Administration Stimulation plan includes millions and millions of dollars for contraceptives.

Excuse me? I thought we were supposed to try and stimulate the economy. Did I hear it wrong?

Went back and checked. Nope, I heard it right.

Stimulate the economy with contraceptives. Yet again, I'm having a hard time understanding it all and I don't think it's the julep juice. Nope, I think the problem is with those who know what's better for me and my family than I do.

See ya later,

Miss Etta

Gimme Me Some TARP

2009-01-23T09:21:00.004-05:00

Grab your juice and your sides, sit right on down and listen to this song. When it's done, you'll be humming along with the rest of us as we say "I Want Some TARP."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGfQk9XXm24

Inaugural Thought

2009-01-20T12:58:00.002-05:00

Did you watch the inauguration on TV today? It seems like it was well seen everywhere. I do have a question that is causing my little ole pea brain some concern.

Is there a difference between "executing the office" and "faithfully executing the office"? Seems like the new President will be "executing the office (pause) faithfully."

Guess I'll grab a glass of julep juice and ponder on this some more.

Huge Bird in My Yard

2009-01-15T10:41:00.005-05:00

My, oh my. Have you seen them? They are huge. And I mean, huge.

Let me catch my breath, take a sip of julep juice, and fan myself whilst I tell you of a true story.

I was out filling my bird feeder the other day, when all of a sudden, I thought I was under attack. There was a loud swish and several, huge, and I mean, huge birds up over my head. What were they? My first thought is they were overgrown hawks as I have several hawks back behind my house. My second thought is they were mutant hawks as they were just way too big.

I sat right down on the ground. watched and listened to the flapping of those huge (did I mention how big they were?) wings. Too big to be hawks, not the right size or shape to be my neighborhood blue heron.

My, goodness, they were Bald Eagles. That is the first time I have ever seen a bald eagle, and there it was in my own backyard.

I ran inside to get the camera, but by the time I got back outside, the majestic wonders were circling back behind my neighbor's house. I couldn't get a shot of those beauties, but I could still hear their wings just a flapping.

Just imagine, bald eagles spotted in Fayette County. I hope they will come back. I promise I won't shriek. And I'll try to get my very own picture of them.

Till later, my friends.

Georgie

Don't You Be Talking About Me

2009-01-12T20:40:00.002-05:00

Ever feel like you've been out of touch? Time has just zooming by and I've just realized I haven't had a good ole sit down and gossip session with my friends. I haven't meant to ignore you. I've just been preoccupied.

Preoccupied with being sick and preoccupied with moaning about the loss of my love. Yep, his birthday was just the other day and I know he would have fallen all over his blue suede shoes in love with me if he had just ever had the chance.

Been way too cold to sit on the porch and rock, so I guess we'll have to come back inside and make a special effort to stay in touch, and not just holler down the road.

Gotta go, my love is crooning "Are you lonesome tonight...."

Miss Etta P

ho, ho, ho

2008-12-26T01:09:00.001-05:00

hey girls. hope y'all have had a fine christmas. splashed a bit of red
food coloring in my julep, wrapped a green napkin around the bottom of
the glass and got through the day just fine. gonna' be an interesting
new year, eh?

till next time,
miz vul

Guess We'll See if We Get What We Asked For

2008-11-05T10:24:00.002-05:00

My friends,

I watched the election process and even stayed up last night to see the results. This is the only time in my aging years that I have felt so strongly about the outcome. Note, I didn't say candidates.

I guess we'll all see over the next couple of years if what the American public asked for is really the best for America. My grandma used to say, "Careful what you ask for. You just may get it. And it may come at a high price." In grandma's life, she asked to live on the water full time. She ended up getting her wish, but it was after the death of her husband. It was also when her children were forced to place her in a nursing home. She told my mama that she would have picked grandpa over the water front view any day.

So, we'll see. We'll see.

Miss Etta

Benefits of Wall Street Crash Found

2008-10-22T11:30:00.002-04:00

I just figured out how the failure of the banks and Wall Street are helping the environment!

Yep, it truly is. How, you say?

Just check your mailbox and see how light all of the junk mail is these days. Why, it used to be I needed a crane to lift all the offers of credit cards and gotta-refinance-now envelopes. It was just all too much for my arms.

Now, all that junk mail has stopped. So, guess what? Those useless papers aren't going into the trash and filling up our local landfills. But then again, I'm not getting my daily bicep workout either.

Yep, there was a silver lining in that crisis.

Ms. Georgia Gal

Noise and American Pride, All Rolled into One Show

2008-10-13T12:06:00.003-04:00

Front Porch Friends,

I'm sorry I was not on my porch this weekend. I was inside hovering, waiting for the bombs to land. Did you hear all the noise from the Air Show? Why, my poor fish were shivering from all the vibrations of those gigantic planes bellowing overhead.

Can you imagine what it must have been like for the poor people during World War II when those bombers were flying overhead? Why, they must have thought the world was coming to an end. I guess it did for some of them.

The Air Show is really a fun thing to do in Peachtree City. Seeing all those men in uniform and listening to them as their pride spills over and out about their flying machines and our country just brings tear glistens to my eyes. I also like to see all the stunts and the cheers from the folks on the ground.

Now, if I could just stop the noise.

Have a good day, my friends. It's gotta get better-- I hear the stock market is feeling a bit better today after it tried its suicide run last week.

Miss Etta

Casting My Vote

2008-10-09T11:24:00.001-04:00

Well, girlfriends, I went to vote yesterday. First time I've done
anything early in a long, long time. They were kinda' busy there, and
when I commented to one of the gals who works there about the brisk
business they were doing, she said it wasn't nearly as busy as usual.
It was raining yesterday, and I guess hubbie and I are 2 people who
know with absolute certainty that we aren't going to melt. Plus it
actually makes my hair look better when I'm out in the rain.

Let me tell you: they had the cutest pens there - you know, writing
pens - ready for us to fill out the form. Somebody (perhaps in the
days before they got so busy) had taped colorful fall leaves to the
pens. Not only will the pens likely stay there, saving us taxpayers
some money, but they were just adorable. So much more fun to write
with than plain ole' unadorned stick pens. You should've seen it: all
those leaves blowing in the wind as people wrote.

Anyway, we went from that room to the room with the voting booths, and
once again, we were greeted in a friendly, smiling manner and we
didn't have to wait in line. Walked right up to a booth, popped that
yellow card in, and voted. Quick and easy. Felt good to have it done.

The only thing that frustrated me about the whole process is that at
the end of the ballot where there are all those long, indecipherable
questions, there were only options for "yes" and "no". Me, I wanted to
be able to vote "HELL NO".

Have y'all voted yet?

Miz Vul

Houses, Houses Everywhere Today

2008-10-05T23:53:00.001-04:00

Today, at the Barack Obama concert/rally/voter registration drive held
on the campus of Ohio State University, Bruce Springsteen told the
crowd: "Despite the terrible erosion to our standing in the world, we
remain for many people a house of dreams, and 1,000 George Bushes and
1,000 Dick Cheneys will never be able to tear that house down."

Quite interesting to read that tired, old, rearview mirror statement
while watching an Extreme Home Makeover show in which an entire
community - also in Ohio - came together to rebuild a house for the
Jason Thomas family. Before the show, the Thomas house was in such a
dismal condition that it barely provided shelter for the family. After
this show, it was a house of strength, just like its owners and
inhabitants.

And why this particular family? Because on 9/11/2001, Jason Thomas was
a Marine who worked long and hard (and has the melted boots to prove
it) to extract people who landed beneath tons and tons of building
that had once been the Twin Towers. Two of the men who were extracted
by Thomas were interviewed on the show. As best I remember, one man
was trapped for 13 hours, the other for 22 hours. Both men thanked
Thomas and all the other heroes who were ordinary citizens before that
day.

Jason Thomas is a man who keeps his love of country no secret. The man
flat out loves this country. He does.

The show brought many tears. The family cried, of course, when they
first saw the house. Crew members cried when local Marine recruiters
presented them with flags (one American, one Marine) to fly at the
remodeled house. The Marine Sergeant teared-up as he explained to
Jason Thomas why the Marines were honored to be part of this project.
Ed, one of the carpenters on the Extreme Home Makeover crew, cried
openly as he spoke of his love of America and said, in his heavy
foreign accent, how he could not wait to become an American citizen.

Ed also cried when he cut his hand badly while carving an American
flag to decorate the Thomas' new home. When Jason Thomas saw the flag
and was told about Ed's injury that occurred while carving the flag,
he quietly commented that people bleed for the American flag every
day, and to know that Ed bled for this flag would make it the
centerpiece of the house. Forever.

Two stories of houses. Two stories of people coming together in Ohio.

Just goes to show, doesn't it girls? Just goes to show.

Miz Vul

No Trash, Just the Gas Please

2008-09-29T12:15:00.002-04:00

My, My, missy, you've gone and gotten yourself all worked up. Be careful it doesn't mess with your delicate constitution and all. I just worry about your health and all. Don't get yourself all riled up because of the trashy people. And I'm here to tell ya, I haven't seen them yet.

My friends, I had to leave the porch with its delightful cool morning breeze to go for gasoline. Gotta tell ya, I just love Kroger. Not only did they have gasoline in Peachtree City this morning, I waited all of 2 minutes, maybe, to get my gas. The guys are out there directing traffic, and they are pleasant, and they've got gas. The gentleman I spoke with told me that Kroger wasn't going to try and raise the prices to the higher level of the others in town. He also said that gas wasn't such an issue in northern suburbs of Atlanta. He also said he would run out soon, but he has been pretty lucky about getting it in on a fairly regular basis. Now, don't that beat all?

I don't know what this man's title was, but in my book, his customer service skills and those of all the guys working at the fuel center today, were exceptional.

Oh, and on my way out, I passed one of those other places who have been keeping their gas prices high, and guess what. They had gas, but no customers. Guess the paying public only goes there when they have to get gas or suffer the consequences. Go figure.

Miss Etta

Give Me a Break, Foreign Policy Experience??

2008-09-26T11:06:00.002-04:00

It's been such a delightfully cool series of early mornings that I've had to put off sitting on the front porch while I wait for my julep sisters to show up. So, I've been sitting inside watching some TV. I know, it's something I rarely do, but I've become interested in the upcoming elections.

Just now, while I was ironing-- two things happened which made me say, "Give me a break."

First of all, my iron decided that smoke was a good thing. It must have thought so as it started beeping at me, and smoking like there was no tomorrow. Of course, it also decided to burn the white shirt I was trying to smooth out. Arrgg! Guess I'm gonna run out to the local stores now to look at new wrinkle reducing appliances.

The second main event of the morning is where one of the ladies on a morning talk show said that Obama has foreign policy experience as he just met some of the foreign officials this week. Give me a break! And then she said that since Sarah Palin didn't meet them, she has none! Give me a break!

Who is running for the President's spot? I guess I should since I, too, have foreign policy experience. It appears I have as much or more than Obama, according to the talk show host definition this morning. Yep, I've been to several countries for high tech meetings and been wined and dined. And I'm here to tell ya, they didn't serve me any juleps. Give me a break! Meeting a foreign person or leader does not qualify one as having "foreign policy experience."

Gotta fix another cup of morning juice. Perhaps that will settle my tummy down. Oh, the nerve of it all. Give me a break. Sounds like another feeble attempt to make one candidate look better than someone he is not running against, at least head to head. Are his supporters that scared?

The now smokin' Missy Georgia

Whose Money Pays for Trash in Peachtree City?

2008-09-25T11:35:00.002-04:00

Miz Vul,

After your last outburst on trashy talk in Peachtree City, I decided I had to get my little ole fingers on the document you discussed. I'm a mite riled up now, too.

Whose money are they talking about here? Who is going to have to pay more for mandatory recycling and the privilege of having no choice? Umm, let's see. Umm. The author of the letter suggests he knows we have a choice and we would like to keep our choices. Ummm. Best that he remember that come election time here in these parts.

I'm so upset, I've got to take some time now and fan myself while I look for all those kindly neighbors who supposedly have their trash everywhere. Hmmmm. Don't see any on my daily treks through town. Hmmm. Actually, what I DO see are ordinary citizens who are runners picking up trash on the golf cart paths. Yep, I see volunteers take on that task. Yep, I think those guys are great.

And nope, I don't think we need our local elected folk telling me who I can pay my hard earned money to in order to pay for the city's wants and its proposed fee structure. Oh, and by the way, I do recycle and it's not going into our local landfill. And guess what--- my trash company doesn't know that. How much more are they missing?

Best go walk on our alleged trashy streets some more before I forget I am a southern lady. You've succeeded in getting me off of my own front porch in this mission.

trash talk

2008-09-22T12:36:00.001-04:00

Hey Girls,

Have been without internet service for more than 2 weeks, and am just
now digging out from under a bunch 'a stuff which is when i discovered
the Peachtree City newsletter and what the mayor has to say about
garbage service in Peachtree City. No matter how hard I try to find it
funny, I just can't help but find it all pretty insulting. And scary.
And infuriating. Does he really believe this? Does he really think
others will believe this? Do others really believe this or are my
critical thinking skills better than I thought?

Seems the City Council is leaning towards creating a monopoly (i mean,
selecting ONE company) to do ALL the garbage pickups in PTC. His-ness
says that the council has thought long and hard about this difficult
decision, and here's what they've come up with in all that long, hard
pondering:

Cost: He seems to think that having a monopoly (i mean, one company)
will reduce prices. Guess he never heard of competition. Me, I've
always found that when there's a monopoly, prices go UP, not down.

Streets: Having a monoploy (i mean, one company) will not tear up the
streets so bad. Un huh. Sure.

Recycling: PTC will lose their recycling center, his-ness says, when
the road is widened. What to do? Oh, what to do? His-ness suggests
that the city will force the monopoly (i mean, the one garbage
company) to provide the recycling center. Though his wording sure
sounds like the PTC gestapo (i mean, code enforcement patrol) will add
going-through-your-garbage-to-make-sure-that-you-are-recycling to
their list of powers (i mean, duties), his-ness assures us that will
not be the case. His calculator seems to convince him that having a
monopoly (i mean, one) garbage company and forcing them to provide the
recycling center will actually REDUCE what we are currently paying for
garbage pick up. (I want me one of those calculators. I really do.)

Public Health: His-ness says - and I quote - "The current multiple
provider system gives us no way to ensure everyone has service. With
one company, they can report anyone whose service is discontinued for
non-payment, and the City can ensure that proper garbage service is
maintained at the residence." Now, Girls, the way I read that is that
every resident will be REQUIRED to pay for garbage pickup. Period.
Before this quote I mentioned, his-ness writes about how the law
enforcement folk have seen trash piled up in and out of local houses.
There's just so much here, I hardly know where to start, so I'll start
small: did you notice how his-ness CAPITALIZES the word "City"? I
think that's enough said about that, and actually, I think that pretty
much sums up my problem with this whole issue. But I'm gonna' continue
anyway. I'm what's commonly known as a neatnik, but I've got some
cousins who aren't nearly so interested in keeping a neat, orderly
house to which I say: SO WHAT? Now we're going to let city (notice NO
capitalization) authorities determine what is neat and what is not or
what is trash and what is not?

Litter: Apparently, having a monopoly (i mean, one) garbage company is
going to ensure that we never see litter on the streets of PTC again.

Choice: Seems that some folks share my desire for personal choice, BUT
while his-ness admits to understanding that desire, he "would like to
point out that there is still an element of choice in this process."
Then his-ness goes on to point out that the current "City Council and
I were chosen to serve you." He considers THAT as our personal choice?
We elected them, therefore we've exercised our personal choice. And he
apparently is under the cockamamie idea that we elected them to save
us from ourselves.

Customer Service: His-ness actually wants us to believe that having a
monopoly (i mean, one) garbage company will give us better customer
service. Again, I say "Un huh. Sure."

Girlfriends, didn't they actually try this monopoly (i mean, one)
garbage company idea a while back? And here we are with multiple
companies now. Hhhmmmmmm. What's that they say about history repeating
itself?

This whole thing scares me, girls. It really does. But then I've never
heard anybody ever refer to PTC as Galt's Gulch.

Oh, I can't go on. I just can't. My blood is boiling. I'm just gonna'
have to go fix me a julep (or three) (maybe more) . . . and I have a
damn good idea what to do with my glass when it's empty.

Till next time,
Miz Vul

Such a Pretty "Bulldog" with Lipstick

2008-09-04T10:27:00.003-04:00

Oh my. I watched Sarah Palin last night and boy,oh boy, is she a great speaker! I loved her speech, and that's saying a lot since I am not into politics. I thought she nailed everything down and starting driving those nails into the other party's candidates.

Speaking of the Dems, I guess Senator Biden didn't receive his briefing before he spoke. This morning, he praised Palin for raising her three children. Hmm. Guess he couldn't count the five children on stage with her?

Yesterday, while you mint gals of mine were off, some other friends dropped in to share a jar of juice with me. As you can imagine, all talk was on Sarah Palin. Why, one friend thought she shouldn't run since she had children! Can you believe that? My goodness, the woman ran a whole state while pregnant. And you know how the hormones are when you've got a bun in the oven. Over the top and she still did a superb job by all accounts. So sitting in Washington doing vice presidential duties should be a piece of cake for her.

I guess I should shut up or you gals are gonna think you've converted me to political talk. Nope. Well, maybe for a couple of months while I watch the show unfold.

Miss Etta

On Democrats, Protesters, Sarah Palin, Fred Thompson and Joe Lieberman

2008-09-03T12:25:00.003-04:00

Miz Vul and Miss Etta, have you girls been payin' attention to what those horrible, low-down, nasty demonstrators have been doing at the Republican Convention? Now you didn't see anybody destroying property and throwing chemicals on people at the Democratic Convention, did you?

Republicans have class. Democrats seem to have thrown principles down the drain if you're looking at those demonstrators as indicators of their nature. I have heard from reliable sources that these hooligans are paid operators and they have no earthly idea why they are out there being criminals.

What in the world makes people so stupid as to think that breaking glass windows of stores and hurting people is going to make anyone want to be part of their cause? I have no problem at all with protesting in a manner that gets your message across. After all, we are a nation built on protests to some degree. And who could ever forget all the tea being thrown in the Boston harbor? Well, I suppose that was destroying personal property so maybe that is not the best example to consider.

And, I do suppose much of what happened in our early days was violent. Oh my, I seem to have talked myself into a corner, haven't I?

Well, no matter, this is not the beginning of a country. We have a wonderful country which allows freedom of speech. But we have rules and we have evolved beyond the animal state of throwing tantrums in order to make a point.

Did you hear they threw bleach on some poor 85-year old woman? What in the world did that woman ever do to them? I hope these low-lifes are put in jail for a long time, although with these liberal judges we have these days they will probably get off with less than a slap on the wrist.

And Sarah Palin? Oh, they are being so cruel. How ever, it seems that their nastiness is backfiring on them if I am reading the tea leaves correctly. I talked with an ardent Obama supporter this morning who told me she was going to vote for the Sarah Palin ticket! She did NOT like what was being done to Sarah and she was so proud a woman was on the ticket. We had ourselves a nice long conversation.

I am excited about Sarah Palin and what she will bring to the table. I have read many of the nasty blogs and they are so scared of her it is not even funny. Well, nothing they are doing in regards to her is funny in the least bit. I can't remember ever seeing the left side running around in such a dither in my years on this earth! Hooo boy is this ever going to be fun tonight watching Sarah Palin giving them what for!

Oh, and I can not leave this blog without mentioning the talk by Fred Thompson and Lieberman last night. If Fred Thompson had ever been able to talk like that during his campaign for President there would be a different ticket today I think! I wasn't "for" him when he ran, but I do think he's a decent man.

What do you think about having another Democrat talking to the Republican Convention? If you'll remember our very own Miller was the first I do believe. I can not ever remember another Democrat talking at a Republican Convention but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened before! Have you ever heard of a Republican crossing over and talking at a Democratic Convention? I think he or she would be booed off the stage.

Well ladies, I have to get back to doing what I do when I'm doing it so I will leave you and get back to it. Have a delightful day and I hope to talk with you soon about all the goings on in Fayette County and beyond our little world!

Your friend,
Miss Faye

Me Thinks Too Much

2008-09-03T09:37:00.003-04:00

Correct me if I'm wrong (yeah, like that's gonna happen)-- but you two porch sitters seem to be right happy with the choice of Palin to join McCain for the road to the White House party. Gotta admit that I've never heard of her before, but I guess if you can eat mooseburgers and shoot a big gun and look pretty while doing both of them, well, then I guess it's ok. I'm sure that you will keep us all informed on this super lady. Course I haven't heard yet if she has accepted our invitation to join us on the porch for a batch of our specialty mint julep juice.

Speaking of mint juleps, (yeah, like I could ever forget them)-- do you remember my recent educational lesson on September being Bourban Heritage Month? Well guess what else happens in the month where we lose the summer sun and fall into autumn?

Can you believe it? Are you ready? Yes, it's also National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month! Guess I'm missing something. On one hand, we are all supposed to celebrate the heritage of bourban, including my own family's heritage and special recipe, and then they tell us we're supposed to be recovering from the deadly booze. What's up with that? Guess I should be glad that I'm not a recovering addict. But wait a minute, didn't Miss Faye have to go to the land of the free and the dry lately? Guess she'll have a real hard time this month. Which party will she attend? Mine, to celebrate my family's heritage, or hers where she is free and dry?

Too much to ponder on right now. Guess I should go sit on the porch and wait for one of my friends to show up with the mason jar. Maybe we should call it the masonette jar in honor of Sarah?

Miss Etta

Miz Vul, You ever watch them talking heads?

2008-08-31T16:31:00.002-04:00

I've been listening to those so-called talking heads yakking on television about Sarah Palin. They need to get their heads out from where the sun don't shine! They're scurrying around trying to find some trash to talk about her just hoping to dampen the enthusiasm. Wooo boy are they having a hard time! They're runnin' scared and it is so clear that's what they're doing. I know they're supposed to be impartial, but did you hear how they were yelling and whooping it up when ol' Obama was talking at his coming out party? So much for journalistic integrity, huh?

You can tell they're in a dither! Can't you just see them with their heads together yelling at each other, saying "that's not going to work", "you can't do that", "do you know what would happen if we did THAT?".

Oh, I'm loving it. Sooner or later they'll get their act together and come up with some tidbit they can blow all out of proportion but lordy, they are a panicking right now!

McCain set them right on their little tails and got 'em spinning. Ya gotta love it and ya gotta love Sarah Palin. I don't know what a mooseburger tastes like and likely I never will, but any woman who can shoot a moose to make one can sure handle whatever this old world might toss at her.

Who can take down super woman? Not old man Biden, that's for sure.

Miss Faye

You call this change?

2008-08-30T21:51:00.001-04:00

Will the real Democratic response please speak up? First Obama and
Hillary say the anticipated snide remarks - which played even nastier
coming on the heels of Palin's gracious mention of them and Ferraro in
her speech. (I tell you, when I heard Palin's respectful mention of
Hillary and Ferraro, I teared-up. I did.) Then comes a revised
response that was supposed to play as friendly and nice and classy.

Well, it didn't.

Obama says the first outburst was from some of his aides who have a
"hair trigger." Hair brain is more like it.

And while we're at it, can somebody explain to me how the Obama camp
can keep talking about sweeping change - much-needed change -
unspecific change and then pick BIDEN as the VP candidate? Shoot,
girlfriends, Biden was working in Washington, D.C. when they broke
ground for the White House. Biden is an entrenched, experienced
Washington bureaucrat. How does Biden represent change? Shoot, does
anybody remember how Biden was caught plagiarising? Biden was so
caught-up in politics-as-usual that he used somebody else's words,
claiming them as his own. I suppose he just figured that it worked for
them, so it would work for him. Plagiarism is stealing intellectual
property that already exists. It is most definitely not change. Change
= something NEW, at least in my dictionary.

Which is it, Obama: status quo or change?

Here we are 24 hours later, and I'm still so excited I can hardly
stand it. My Junior Julep and I are ready to get to work for Palin,
and yes, definitely: let's invite the girl down for some juleps. If
she can handle a gun, 5 children, and Alaska's winters, she can handle
a mint julep.

Till next time . . .

Miz Vul

Wonder how Sarah Palin feels about Mint Juleps?

2008-08-29T14:00:00.002-04:00

My goodness, that woman has done everything hasn't she? Eats mooseburgers, shoots guns, hunts, has five kiddos, has governed a state and been mayor of a city. She was a beauty contestant, winning something or other, and has that kick-butt spirit wrapped in syrup that so reminds me of a Southern gal.

Now she's the first woman on a Republican Presidential ticket... Way to go gal!

I am just so EXCITED to have this accomplished woman running for office. A hockey-mom much less, which is a bit stronger I'd think than our local soccer-mom types? Although I wouldn't want to tangle with either of them if their cubs were being maligned.

Have you heard ol' Obama's folks scramblin' to come up with some way to mitigate the exuberance men and women across the country are feeling right now? It just sounds so petty. I mean, I may not be a Hillary supporter, but the way these so-called-love-everyone-support the down-trodden, the women, the poor, Democrats treated that woman is shameful. And the way they went after Geraldine for saying something innocent.

They better watch out with their little nit-pickin' digs at Palin. They ain't never tangled with the riled-up bunch of women they'll be tanglin' with if they keep that kind of garbage going. They look like a bunch of sniveling bullies who've just been bested by a girl. Whine, whine, whine.

I bet they were all scrambling and still are trying to come up with a way to look Democratic and all-inclusive as they attack a woman. Ya gotta love the moment.

On that note, have you noticed how many women there are on tickets and in office across the country? Compare the number of women and minorities in positions of power in the Bush White House to those who were in the Clinton White House. Ha.

Talk about moxy! Have you heard that sharp gal who handles the press for President Bush? I was listening just a minute ago to her talking to the press and she was telling them what the President was going to talk about at the Convention on Monday night. The last thing she said was that Bush wouldn't be attacking Obama and some reporter shouted out, "Why not?". Her quick answer? "Because he has class."

Love it. Thrilled to have Sarah Palin on the ticket and these boys on the Democratic side better watch out. She has more experience than Obama so they better stop attacking her on that one!

Wonder if she'd be willin' to join us on the front porch and sip a few juleps sometime? Guess she's going to be mighty busy for a good while.

What a Way to Celebrate Women's Suffrage

2008-08-29T13:18:00.001-04:00

Hey Girls,

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: those Republicans sure do
know how to celebrate and commemorate. I just heard McCain announce
his running mate, and I heard Sarah Palin's acceptance speech. You
know, Michelle Obama said a while back that for the first time in her
life she's proud of her country, and I tell you what: for the first
time in a long time, I am hopeful about our country.

So hopeful that I feel a burst of energy (at least I guess that's what
it is - been so long), and I'm going to clean my house.

After a bit of mint julep fortification, of course.

More on this later (the Republican VP candidate, not cleaning my house).

Miz Vul

Little Bits

2008-08-27T12:07:00.001-04:00

Hey girls,

Miss Etta, count me in: wipe off my chair and get my mason jar ready.
I'll be there soon cause I tell you what - watching this Democratic
whoopteedoo is enough to drive me to drink. Okay if we start September
early this year?

I bet the O'Bamas are already stockpiling bottled water - probably
buying it off the shelves in New Orleans first - so they can upstage
the Republican whoopteedoo when Gus (I can't remember his full name)
hits New Orleans. And you know good and well that the entire press
corps would pull out and leave the Republicans to cover the O'Bama
gang in the role of Good Samaritans. In a heartbeat they would.

I could go on forever, but I just don't have enough energy to pursue
that one this morning.

Wonder if all this rain got here in time to affect the leaf color. You
know, I seem to remember leaves turning in September, but now it seems
like that color doesn't pop out till November. And one thing I've
always wondered about: when the leaves fall, what makes some of them
hold on and stick it out through the winter? It's not something I've
lost sleep over, mind you, but I do wonder about it every now 'n then.

I'm enjoying this overcast day. It's like one of the Steel Magnolias
said: When God doesn't try so hard, I don't feel like I have to either.

Something like that.

I saw some Mint Julep something-or-other in the beauty section of the
drugstore the other day. Foot cream. Or maybe it was face cream. I
don't know, but when I get a minute, I think I'll run on back over and
pick up some to take with me to Miss Etta's upcoming Bourbon
Blasterbration.

Till next time.

Miz Vul

Get Ready to Party on My Porch

2008-08-26T12:34:00.000-04:00

Whooppppppeeeeeee. Finally, someone in an official capacity is honoring my spirit.

The governor of Kentucky has declared September as "Bourbon Heritage Month." He's even recognizing Bourban as “America’s Native Spirit” thus honoring the family heritage and deep-rooted legacy of the Bourbon industry in Kentucky. Well, good for him.

That got me to thinking. Why doesn't the federal government also celebrate this spirit of American culture? Well, to my surprise, just last year the U.S. Senate declared September as "National Bourbon Heritage Month."

So come on over gals, this calls for a toast with my special julep juice!

Miss Etta

Gotta Make It While the Sun is Shining

2008-08-07T13:00:00.002-04:00

Gals,

Glad to finally hear from ya'll. I'm much too busy right now to set a spell. The sun is shining, and with all the recent rain--- guess what I'm doing?

Of course-- making julep juice. Gotta make it while the mint is fresh off the vine. Why, the mint has been overtaking everything so much that the mister told me to make something out of it or he was gonna cut it down!!

Well, after I finished having my stroke and an attack of the vapors, I glared mightily at the ole coot. I got busy making my juice, but it's been hard with all the stomping of feet and huffing. Why, the very nerve of even a hint of throwing out my mint!

Here's the recipe I'm using right now for the juice:

1 c. sugar
1 c. water
Bring to a boil. Add 12 fresh mint sprigs. Cool and discard leaves.

Pack a glass with ice. Add 1 tablespoon of the sugar-mint juice and throw in an equal amount of bourban. Add water to fill the glass. Sprinkle with powdered sugar.

Thought that I would try and make up a BIG batch of the starter juice and freeze it in ice cube containers. That way, all I have to do is grab an ice cube, add the special B and water.

Whatcha think about that? You with me?

Miss Etta

My turn to be alone?

2008-08-06T22:58:00.002-04:00

I know I most likely expect way to much given how sporatic I have been about setting on the porch over the summer time, but it would be so nice to have company now that I'm back.

I have had such a delightful time this summer! I won't bore you with all the many things I've done though as they kept my little pea-brain occupied but would most likely force my Julep sisters to hide their yawns behind a large glass of cold ice tea (or something with a bit more bite perhaps?).

I am home to stay for a while and hope we can all resume our chats. I will have to say that I am not too very happy with some of the changes that have occured in our fair county while I have been gone! Lest you chasten me unneccesarily, I will tell you that I did my duty and voted absentee in both elections. I was not overjoyed with the outcome of the elections, however I have been in this world long enough to know that life goes in cycles, not all of them to my liking.

Well, come sit, come share and lets talk about this great big beautiful world together!

Depression is all in the mind...

2008-07-30T21:26:00.002-04:00

I think we have just moved way too far up Maslow's Heirarchy and have way, way too much time on our hands. All of a sudden we get to lookin' round and we're sitting up there on that pinnacle and we're bored. Or we have more stuff than we need and we've reached those goals or just quit bothering to set them and we get to thinking we're depressed. Some of us are brung up thinking we've got to have more, more, more and we can never live up to those expectations that are slammed in our face every time we open a magazine or turn on the boob-tube. We get depressed 'cause we're never going to get there.

It's all just a bunch of hullabaloo. I think the drug companies like to make us think we just gotta be happy all the time. Well durn it, life has ups and downs. We can't always walk around with a big ol' smile plastered on our face and be happy. It just ain't life.

These people in this country want to know what's depressing they oughta go live in Africa or some other country for a while and they'll figure out real quick what depression is all about.

We get depressed if we don't have two tv's and three cars.

I figured out a long long time ago that I could walk through life feeling poor me-like or I could decide to be happy. Being depressed is darned addictive. It's great to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Especially if you get in one of those groups that helps you, or so they say. You sit around telling each other how bad you feel and pretty soon you get to enjoyin' feeling that bad and you don't even realize it.

When I was young and I'd start getting down in the mouth and feeling bored and pitiful my Mama would hand me a broom and tell me to go sweep the back porch. I think we need to get these depressed people to find something to do to help somebody else and they'll start to feeling pretty good about their own situation. Go down to the homeless shelter and help feed people once a week for about six months and you'll find out just how happy you can be.

Guess what gals? I'm back! I've missed you all but I sure haven't been depressed for one single day.

Miss Faye

D is for

2008-07-28T12:26:00.000-04:00

Hey Girls,

I've been taking a little Vulcation (like my newly-minted word?) this
morning: been cruising the internet reading blogs written by other
gals (so much so I have a cramp in my right elbow), and I notice 2
things:

1. These gals are GOOD wordslingers.
2. These gals are depressed.

Now let me just stop right here and say for the record: it's not just
females who are depressed. There seems to be a veritable epidemic of
depression these days. Seems like everybody I know or am related to or
both is at least a little on the D side of things. Used to be that
being depressed was something you and yours kept quiet, like it was
something to be embarrassed about, something to be ashamed of. That's
not the case now - THANK GOODNESS - and maybe that openness, that
willingness to talk about it will help answer me this: why is it
depression seems to be running absolutely rampant these days? I, being
who I am, want to know WHY. Why so many wonderful, talented, creative,
intelligent, genuinely good people are depressed - not just blue or
sad or down but flat-out depressed.

Is it something physical like we're not getting enough exercise?

Or is it something psychological like we don't have effective coping
skills or maybe we have unreasonable expectations?

Or is it something physiological like our bodies are squirting out too
much of one juice (hormones, neuropeptides, etc.) and/or not enough of
another?

Or (and you both KNEW I'd get to this, didn't you? Go ahead: admit
it.) is it something They put in our parents' drinking water? Or
something They loaded into those free cigarettes? Or something They
put on the fruit pieces used to mess up perfectly good lunchroom Jell-o?

Girlfriends, if we don't do something about whatever causes
depression, pretty soon those who are not depressed (be that of
natural causes or sheer, unadulterated determination) will be the ones
getting the diagnosis and subsequent pills.

I'm just saying.

Miz Vul

Buried and Forgotten??

2008-07-20T11:08:00.003-04:00

Lawdy Miss Etta,

Remember me? Why, I used to come and sit on your porch for our daily talks. I just loved them so. And, I do remember the fine punch you would serve.

Guess you thought I was dead. Dead and buried. Well, I am still kicking, but I have been buried. I'm spending most of my mornings try to dig my way out of all the mail that my good neighbor has been sending. How many good neighbors are there around here? Way too many, I think. And don't they know that filling my mailbox with the same letter from several of them a day is the best way to make sure I don't spend any of my precious coins at their doorstep?

Of course, I have to wonder if you have been getting all those letters?

Hope to hear from you soon,
Georgia gal

Days of Celebration

2008-06-20T08:02:00.002-04:00

My. oh my, Miss Faye. You really had me going there. I was convinced something bad had happened to you, otherwise you would never, ever leave me sitting here all alone on the porch. Yep, and rehab sure enough would do it. Who could ever take away my special julep juice? Who would ever try?

It's the first day of summer and I'm in love. Yep, you heard me. I'm in love with the cool morning air that's been my companion for the last couple of mornings. Summer is here, let the celebrations begin!

Did you know that yesterday was National Martini Day? Now, I've never ascribed to martinis, although I did like to hear Dean sing while holding his martini. Somebody recently told me he was from some small town in Pennsylvania and they remembered seeing him perform-- before he got famous and all.

Martini Day? What about Julep Day? Don't we need to start campaigning for one?

You gals been following all the campaign news lately? Fascinating, I say. And as soon as I remember what I was gonna say, I will. In the meantime, best go refill my juice glass.

Enjoy the summer sun, my friends.

Miss Etta

Finally out of rehab...

2008-06-19T06:34:00.002-04:00

Well, one too many mint juleps and they toss you in the loony bin and try to dry a bodies bourbon soaked body right out. I promise it had nothing to do with my actions sans julep. Can you believe they actually thought my crazy antics had something to do with all the juleps I'd been sipping? Ha. Little did they know. The only thing that keeps me sane is the time on the porch with you ladies. I am SO glad to be out and in the land of the ladies. I absolutely could not wait to get back out here on the porch with you lovely ladies to commiserate and, of course, have another darned mint julep.

Not really. Just thought I'd come up with a creative reason for not writing for so long. You should know me well enough by now to know that I am always restrained and lady-like and would never let me mint julep sipping get out of hand. Yes, I am pulling your leg again. A little imp has taken hold of my nature of late and I just can't seem to settle down and be proper.

I read a book a long time ago that I believe was titled "When I am old I shall wear purple". I have to confess all I did was skim though it but I loved the idea in the poem of the same title. It's all about doing whatever you want when you get older. You can be a batty old woman and wear purple and red (I suppose the red-hat ladies are somehow connected with that poem now that I think about the colors). I've lived that philosophy all of my life. As I get older mayhaps I'll start to wear sober colors just to be different.

The Red Hat ladies (I do believe it should be capitalized) have so much fun. It has really taken off as a club or organization, I'm not sure what category it should fall into. I think we should form our own mint-julep group. It seems everyone is banding together in some sort of fellowship these days. I wonder if the need to be part of a group has something to do with the way society has changed and is continuing to change? It used to be that everyone knew everyone. People grew up being part of a group in most cases. As time has gone on and we have families scattered all over the country, people moving and losing connections, cultures intermingling, the north and the south co-mixing to the point where it's hard to find a good southern accent any more and I could go on and on with examples of how we are losing those old ties that bind. Now we create groups and bind.

It's hard to say whether the changes that are happening in our society are good or bad. There is a mix I think of good, bad and potentially bad. We seem to be able to adapt to the changes, hence the need to join a group to replace those bonds that seem to be part of human nature. I suppose I could go on speculating about what is going on in our world for eons. Only time will tell whether it's good or bad. Jimmy Buffet has a line in one of his songs that is somewhat similar to that last line.

I had to take a short break and go find the song I just referred to by Mr. Buffet. I will leave you with the lyrics and I will leave you wondering where I have been for so many long days. I have run out of time to write and will have to leave you in suspense.

Scales and clocks just can't be trusted
Keys and locks are destined to be busted
Metaphors were never made for keeping score
And I'm feeling for the sound of time

hoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo hoo hoo

Is it the answer or just a suggestion
Is love what we truly want or merely a protection
Is this music made to last or crumble like a shell
Is there heaven here on earth or is this really hell

Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong
Only time will tell is there a message in this song
Will it ever make sense will it ever ring a bell
Only time will tell

hoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo hoo hoo

Are we destined to be ruled by a bunch of old white men
Who compare the world to football and are programmed to defend
I'd like to try a princess or a non-terrestrial
Who is neither boast nor bashful is there really such a girl

Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong
Only time will tell is there a message in this song
Will it ever make sense will it ever ring a bell
Only time will tell

I woke up this morning feeling absolutely grand
For nearly half a century I've been singing in a band
I'd like to think I'll make it to two thousand and one
Will the party be at my house God I wonder who will come

Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong
Only time will tell is there a message in this song
Will it ever make sense will it ever ring a bell
Only time will tell

Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong
Only time will tell is there a message in this song
Will it ever make sense on this crazy carousel
Only time will tell

(I left out the last bunch of hoo hoo's. Hoo cares unless you're going to sing the song, then you can figure it out yourself that more hoo hoos are needed).

Miss Faye
ta da!

Red, White and Blue Fits

2008-05-27T08:04:00.002-04:00

Didcha enjoy the big holiday yesterday? Didcha remember to honor our fallen soldiers? Didcha shed a few tears? I certainly did.

Why, that ceremony in Peachtree City alone was enough to set me bawling for the whole day. I had to use up all of my white tissues in the hopes my cries were stifled somewhat. I just always seem to find my heart up in my throat in these affairs. I guess it's because I mourn the loss of them all. I guess I just love America so darn much.

Well, that started off the day. I ended up by having some "blue with my red." Yep, nothing finer on a gorgeous day than a nice thick juicy red slab of meat done up on the grill. Add some homemade blue cheese butter and, yummy! The blue cheese just makes the beef taste explode into a mouthful of savory delights.

And, of course, what would a celebration be without my own julep juice? I spent hours getting my julep syrup prepared with just the right amount of sugar. It was pretty good, even if I do say so myself.

Now that the summer is officially here, I expect to hear from my friends. Kinda odd isn't it? Memorial Day starts the summer season even though the calendar doesn't start it until later in June. I think I'll take the Memorial Day start and then end it when the calendar does in late September. I'd much rather have a long summer!

Miss Etta

Off To The Races

2008-05-23T14:10:00.003-04:00

Hey friends,

Sorry I've been quiet. I've been off to the races.

Races for time. Races to leisure. Just racing around in circles....

Ya'll have a great Memorial Day Weekend. I saw on the Fayette Front Page the prayer offered by President Bush for this very special day in history. You should check it out.

Look for me on Monday while I'm honoring my family heroes and those of America!

Miss Etta

Life Will Go On, My Friend

2008-05-11T09:49:00.001-04:00

Oh Miz Vul,

I am so deeply saddened to hear a friend was a victim of pain. It is
horrible and it just breaks my heart.

I remember a young girl who was also attacked about 40 years ago.
Some said it was because she wore white go-go boots. Some said it
was because she strayed too far from home. Some tried to ignore it.
Some thought she'd just forget about it. Don't think so.

Well, I am here to tell you that it wasn't because of the white go-go
boots. It wasn't because she strayed too far from home. Nope, the
reality was she was riding her bicycle on a hot summer day. The
reality was she was the victim of some young tough's need to
dominate. The reality was she survived. The reality was the young
tough was caught. The reality was it WAS NOT HER FAULT!

I still don't know what happened to the young tough. The last I saw
him was in the back seat of the police car. 'Nuff said.

Surround your friend with love and understanding. Surround her with
hope for the future.

Packing Claxtons

2008-05-09T17:55:00.001-04:00

Miss Etta, I HAVE been having a thoughtful day. Been having a string
of them, actually . . .

Somebody I love deeply was recently the victim of a crime. Let's be
real clear about this: a crime was committed against HER. And while
she struggles still to move forward and eventually leave it behind
her, there are these two local women who insist on, as my Daddy used
to say, kicking her while she's down.

Can somebody please explain to me why that is? Why is it that when a
woman is the victim of a crime, some folks insist on making her the
CRIMINAL, too?

I was talking to Janet Dunn the other day, you know, the editor of
FayetteFrontPage.com, and she said that more people subscribe to the
helping hands blog than any other blog. Now that's good: people are
wanting to help other people, and lord knows there are plenty of folks
needing help these days.

It's good to share food and clothes and household items with those in
need. It's fantastic to help folks put together a resume and find a
good job. But what about helping individual people you run into while
you're out and about? What about folks you know who might be in need
of something as seemingly simple as kindness - maybe a hug the next
time you see them, maybe a quick email to say thinking about you,
maybe just a genuine heartfelt smile? Random acts of kindness are
fantastic, and I encourage them, but let's don't ever, ever, ever lose
sight of DELIBERATE acts of kindness Let's never forget that some
folks, maybe even most folks we see on any given day are carrying
around some kind of emotional need.

I tell you what: I think when a woman is the victim of a crime, we
ought to hold hands, form a large circle around her and say to no-
gooders "How DARE you." and "Don't even think about bothering her
right now." and to her: "Sugar, is there anything I can do?" and "Can
I get you anything?" Maybe even take her to get her hair and nails
done 'cause we all know that makes a girl feel so much better.

Yes, I think we ought to do things like that, NOT take potshots at HER
and throw rocks at HER. So what if an attractive young woman was in a
restaurant/bar? So what if she was wearing a sun dress (not a halter
dress, a sundress)? So what if she was wearing black patent leather
pumps? So what if she has long blonde hair? So what if she is drop
dead gorgeous? Does that make the crime HER fault? Don't women (and
men, too, but I'm talking about women right now) have the right to be
safe when they go out? Don't they have the right to go to a public
place to socialize with friends? Don't they have a right to wear black
patent leather pumps and lipstick?

Woman's inhumanity to woman . . . where does that come from?

If I live to be 1128-and-a-half years old, I will NEVER understand
this, fellow julep-sippers. It's a language I have never and will
never, by golly, become fluent in, this women spitting and slapping
and backbiting and hissing at other women.

What ever happened to EMPATHY?

I have tried to be philosophical about this, girls. Really I have. I
understand that people like to find meaning in everything (though I
surely can't see how re-victimizing the victim finds meaning in a damn
thing), and I know that thinking is a dying art (don't even get me
started - another subject for another day, girls). I know that black
and white type stuff is preferable cause it's so much easier to think
about and move on, but really: how much of life is that simple? Gray
is a color near and dear to my Southern, Confederate heart, and let's
face it: most of life is lived in the gray. Gray is, in my never-to-be-
persuaded-otherwise opinion, a wonderful, delicious, rich color that's
filled with possibilities and room to think and be individuals.

You know, my mother had this sister who gave Claxton fruitcakes as
Christmas gifts every single year. She'd drive on down to Claxton and
fill up the back of her car during the After-Christmas Claxton
Fruitcake Sale. Then she'd bring them babies home and load up her
freezer with them. In her mind, it was perfect: she saved money,
finished her shopping way early, and she never once forgot where she
stashed the bought-early gifts. (Personally, I always wondered if her
husband - the DENTIST - didn't pay for them out of his marketing
account, thereby saving/making even more money. Did you ever bite into
a year-old frozen Claxton fruicake???)

Now, Miss Etta, I know you mentioned Claxton fruitcakes a week or so
ago, and I mean no disrespect when I tell you that over the past
several weeks, I have fantasized more times than I can count about
hurling some of those year-old, frozen Claxton fruitcakes at a couple
of local womenfolk in hopes of knocking some sense in their heads.

If only I were licensed to carry Claxtons.

But I'm not, so I'm going on back to the front porch to swing and sip
something a wee bit (okay, a pretty good bit) (okay, a LOT) stronger
than a julep. Helps me think.

Miz Vul

Morning Reflections and Observations

2008-05-08T09:43:00.002-04:00

It's been real quiet on my porch lately. Guess I'm alright with the solitude as it has given me time to reflect and observe. This morning while I was sitting on the porch drinking my daily dose of caffeine and wondering about what to do for the day, my eyes were suddenly drawn to a duel.

It's the kind of duel where we mothers shudder our shoulders when we see it. A little baby was abducted. Now, before you go running to the phone to put out an all points bulletin-- wait to see what I have to say.

The commotion all started when the young mother took off for her morning work-- providing breakfast for her babies. They were all squalling up a storm, when all of a sudden-- a big swoop dove in. Yep, a red tailed hawk who lives back behind my house was also looking for his breakfast and spotted it.

He swooped right in and started tugging the little baby bird right out of the nest. He was pulling and the other babies were really crying at this point. It got the mama's attention. She comes flying in a very quick speed. Why, it was probably faster than Superman could have done it.

The hawk, with his breakfast secured in his claws, takes off. The mama bird chases him. She is yelling and saying all kinds of bad things about that intruder. Alas, she returned back to her nest empty clawed. No baby rescued.

Will she mourn the little tyke who had not had time to spread his little wings and fly? Will she stay closer to home to protect the others who are still in her nest? Now, I ponder while I finish the morning coffee.

Nature is fascinating to observe. Guess that is what I'll do today. What else will I see while I wait for my friends to show up?

Have a thoughtful day.

Miss Etta

Official Mint Julep Day

2008-05-03T21:32:00.001-04:00

It's Mint Julep Day! This is the weekend in history that made mint
juleps famous! Did you hear? They made $1000 mint juleps today at
the Derby. Outrageous!

It was for a great cause-- something to do with retired race horses.

Bet it would have been a treat. Bet it would have been extra
special. Oh well, I guess I just have to enjoy my own recipe today.

Hey Miss Faye- I saw your mint patch the other day. Can't wait for
it to come in. Maybe we can come up with a worthy cause for our mint
juleps!

Miss Etta

Here Snakey, Snakey

2008-05-01T10:10:00.001-04:00

Sitting on my front porch watching life is one of my favorite things
to do. I really enjoy my old creaky rocker, especially when I have a
tall icy glass of mint julep to sip. I sit and relax and well, just
observe. Today, I watched as my kitty observed his prey, and watched
as kitty played with his prey.

Kitty's prey was a slithery thing. You know, one of those things
that makes me go "yuk". So there was absolutely no way I was gonna
interfere with that game!

Kinda reminds me of several memories which are stuck way back in the
nether regions of my head. It gets really hard to pull out these
memories as they are stuck in the "yuk" category. However, since it
is May Day and I have nothing to do but enjoy it, I will take a
deeper look-see in there and see what pops up.

You gals ever go to a Rattlesnake Roundup? Now I don't mean the kind
nowadays where they have crafts, dances and who-knows-what-going-on.
I mean the kind they used to have 30 years ago. The kind where the
brave hunters showcased their dead prey on their mailboxes. What?
You never ever saw rattlesnakes hanging on the mailbox?

Way back when, down in south Georgia down around the Claxton area,
that was a common sight in the spring. You would just be driving
along minding your own beeswax when you would start passing all those
houses with rattlesnakes hanging on the mailbox. Guess it was so
everyone could see how many you killed and how big they were. Before
you go running off the porch in sheer terror, remember that those bad
boys could really be a menace to a farmer.

Yeah, I know. Claxton is also famous for those fruitcakes. Wonder
what they put in them?

You gals have a great day now. Oh, and by the way, kitty's new
friend was a small copperhead. Yep, kitty can play that game any ole
time he wants.

Miss Etta

No gator tails, uh, tales...

2008-04-27T16:32:00.003-04:00

No gater tales or tails, no gator-ade tales either. I wracked my little pea-brain trying to come up with something to contribute but nary a gator of any sort rose to the surface. If things go as they normally will, once we've exhausted gators I'll remember some outrageous tale from the nether regions of my mind.

Ah well.

As wet as it is this day I can easily envision gators wandering around yards, although this is more akin to salamander weather I think.

Do you remember those little tiny frogs that used to come out in the rain? There was a name for those little buggers but I'll be darned if I can remember. If the sun came out too fast we'd find them all dried up on the driveway. Seemed like there would be thousands of them hopping in the puddles sometimes. Now that I've remembered them, I'd surely like to know what they were called. I know we called them rain frogs, but there is another name of some sort. I will hop on over to Google and see if I can dredge it up.

What have ya'll been up to recently? I've been here and there enjoying life. Don't we live in such a beautiful world? Have you ever wondered if it's really that beautiful or if it's just something that we SEE as beautiful because we're accustomed to it? The old beauty is in the eye of the beholder thing. If we were raised on the moon would all these trees and water be ugly to us?

That reminded me of people's tastes in music. From country to country music is so completely different. What sounds like high-pitched screaming to me is beautiful to some in Asian cultures. I don't particularly care for much of the Hip Hop music that is so popular with some, but others love it.

Remember when you were growing up and "our" music was horrible to our parents? The music they listened to as youngsters was abhorrent to their parents.

As usual, my mind is skipping from one subject to another. It's like little firing pins just pinging away, sparking thoughts that may or may not be worth sharing! I used to drive my poor mama crazy yapping away about all kinds of nonsense. I have grown up just a bit and now I keep my mouth shut most days. For some reason when I start writing to my two Mint Julep friends in here some of the flitting, yammering, wide-spread thoughts come a tumbling.

Which reminds me of the time I bought a rock tumbler for my children. It lasted all of one day before I stuck it in a closet never to be pulled out. We were living in a small enough place that there was nowhere to put the noise-maker where we couldn't hear it. We did one batch and that was it. The kids didn't even complain. I mean, how could they after listening to the thing for so long?

We did make a few trips to pan for gold up in Dahlonega, Georgia. Rather easy to see through what they were doing, planting gems in piles of sand. But it entertained the kiddos and thrilled them to no end when they "found" a beauty.

Well, enough rambling for today, I think I might just take a stroll in the rain. I may just be a mite naughty and fix myself a bit of something interesting to drink. I know it may shock you, but I am not in the mood for a mint julep at this moment, I think something a bit more along the lines of a White Russian fits the mood, or maybe just a thimble of Bailey's.

I always enjoy sharing with you gals!
Miss Faye

In-house Sightings

2008-04-27T13:51:00.001-04:00

Good grief, Miss Etta. That alligator story - the one in the lake in
north Georgia. Do you ever again swim in a body of water where you
couldn't see the bottom? Just gave me shivers thinking about how close
you've come to alligators who are supposed to be able to move
surprisingly fast when chasing food. Best to run serpentine, I've
always heard, when trying to escape a hungry gator.

My husband's parents had a house down Florida-way where lizards are
known to hang out in droves. When some of his daddy's people from
Pennsylvania spent a week down at that house in Florida, they left a
note on the table saying how much they'd enjoyed their stay and
apologizing for letting the "alligator bug" get inside for a short
while. Alligator bug. Lizard. Get it?

Funny you mentioned this woman who spotted the alligator in her
kitchen. Can you imagine? I sure do hope she was wearing some kind of
shoes. Shoes with good traction for running away.

My grandmother was TERRIFIED of lizards. Living in the country, it
wasn't at all unusual for one of them to come right on in her house,
and when they did, they were treated to pans of hot, boiling water
being tossed in their direction. I have no idea how she came up with
this idea of The Only Sensible Way To Get Rid Of Lizards, but let me
tell you: that woman would drench everything - and i do mean
EVERYTHING - without regard for ruin or cleanup. Drapes, bedspreads,
clothes, furniture, television - nothing was scared when a lizard came
to call. I can still see her standing in the middle of the bed, the
room around her looking like a steam-tornado had come through there.

And I never felt closer to my grandmother than I did last week when I
went to hang up some clothes after taking them out of the dryer. As I
hung them on the clothes rack, out skipped a lizard. I dropped those
clothes and bolted, instinctively heading for the kitchen where I had
every intention of boiling water to toss around. Fortunately, our
laundry room is upstairs, and by the time I got downstairs to the
kitchen, good sense took over. (That and the realization that I'd just
have created a mess that I'd have to clean up once the aforementioned
trespasser was gone.) I opted to just avoid the laundry room the rest
of the day. That night, when I went in to finish fetching the laundry,
I made LOTS of noise to alert the little trespasser of my arrival. I
looked at the hanger-upper rack: no lizard, and I was greatly relieved.

Now why on earth I thought the trespasser would stay in one place is
beyond me, but, as they say, hindsight (or in this case, hindthink) is
20/20. When I went to fetch a clothes hanger, I ALMOST TOUCHED THE
TRESPASSER who was hanging out on the clothes hangers. Makes me shiver
just to think about how close I came to making contact. Sheesh. Called
hubbie, who came up promptly and caught the unwanted visitor then
relocated him to his native territory - outdoors - where I imagine he
is regaling other alligator bugs with tales of this crazy womankind
who he spooked so mightily.

Yep, I just don't have a thing for reptiles, be they at the zoo, live
and in person, or on jewelry, boots, or pocketbooks.

Sheesh.

Later girlfriends,
Miz Vul

Gator Moments

2008-04-23T08:59:00.001-04:00

I bet the lady who strolled into her kitchen just the other day to
get a fresh cup of coffee will entertain her family and friends for a
a long time as she recounts the 6 foot, 230 pound gator lounging on
the floor. I guess it was just hungry and decided the smell was just
right for breakfast. I wonder how he got in? It's not like they can
slide under the door. If I was that lady, I'd be sure to gator proof
the doors. Can you imagine the shock and horror, not to mention the
FEAR, when she saw that huge ancient reptilian animal in her
kitchen? What does one say in that situation? "Hey, wanna cup of
joe?" or "If I had known you were coming, I would have gotten you
some chicken?"

What I found really side splitting is the question by the 911
operator. "Are you sure it's not a big lizard?" Big lizard, indeed.
Most people who live in gator country don't have a problem telling a
lizard from a gator. I know I never had any problems with that when
I was down in gator country or at Georgia's Swampland in the south
part of the state.

I've got two personal gator encounters on the tip of my tongue. One
was down in south GA at the Okeefeenokee Swamp about 30 years ago.
We had gone to visit the swamp and learn more of nature. Well, you
know they've got these big gators down there that just kind of roam
around on their own. Roaming around with those beady eyes staring
intently on you. We watched some brain dead parents allow their two
young gator sized meal youngins taunt a big boy. And by big boy, I
don't mean one with two feet. No sir, it was about a 12 or 13 ft
menacing looking gator who was intent on watching the kids. Watching
and slowly stalking the kids. The kids were taunting, the gator was
slowing stalking, and the park rangers were standing there with their
guns on their hips. Well, daddy and my brother's wife were watching
this free show while the rest of us were in the snake house learning
about how dangerous those slithery critters can be.

Meanwhile, the park rangers were trying to get the gator's attention
off of the youngins. Daddy decided it might be best if he and sister-
by-marriage crossed over the bridge to the side where the gator
wasn't. He thought it might be a little safer over there. After
they crossed the bridge, the mightily relieved sweating sister-by-
marriage said she was glad to put some distance between them and the
gator. Daddy, of course, said, "I already did that." When she
looked confused, he continued, "Didn't you notice that I put you
between the gator and me?"

What happened to that gator on that particular day? The park finally
convinced the brain dead parents that the ignoramus youngins had to
leave the area and then the rangers successfully got the gator back
to where they wanted him. We did hear later that the big boy had to
be put down since he was becoming too aggressive with the paying
customers to the swamp. Guess, that would be bad for business and all.

Another gator story that happened a little further north in
Georgia--- still about 30 years ago. There was a state park where
we used to go camping. That was in the days when daddy could
actually get away from the phone. No cell phones, doncha know. We
were camping and had our canoe with us. Daddy and I had taken our
poodle, the one named Killer, on the canoe for a ride and. later, a
swim. The park rangers came upon us on the water. They suggested we
leave the water immediately. Why? Clear blue skies. We weren't
breaking any laws.

It seems as if the original owner of the lake had gone down to
Florida and bought some baby gators back. He stocked his lake with
gators as an effort to keep the locals from trespassing on his land
and fishing in the lake. Now, I don't know when the state acquired
the lake and surrounding area for a state park, however, i do know
the state couldn't touch those gators. Something about endangered
species and all. So, there were these gators between 8-14 feet just
patrolling the lake. Since small dogs are known to be gator bait,
the rangers had us leave the lake. They just didn't want us to
attract the gators and have us end up being their dinner.

We did leave the water, and we did see the gators on shore as we were
heading back to land. I was so upset that we ended up leaving the
waterfront campsite we had. Something about gators visiting us for
dinner, guests or otherwise, made us all a little nervous. The
rangers came by later to tell us they had herded the gators back up
to the north end of the lake.

Now, I wonder HOW did they do that? How does one herd a gator? How
does one get a gator's attention off his intended meal?

I still think they look their best when I'm carrying them on my arm
stuffed with my personal stuff. I think that's a better stuffing for
them.

Enjoy this beautiful weather! I haven't heard of gator hunting
around these parts, have you?

Till later,
Miss Etta

What a glorious day... for an apology, a real apology

2008-04-18T13:38:00.002-04:00

Oh, it is such a gloriously beautiful day today! All I want to do is bask in the sunshine, play in the garden or walk in the woods. However, I have decided to be a good girl and write to my Mint Julep sisters! Yes, I know, it is about darn time isn't it?

Well, I have been off gallivanting. I suppose someday I'll break down and get one of those contraptions that allows you to communicate with anyone at any time, but that time is not yet here.

I was struck by Miz Vul's comments on apologies. I have a very big pet peeve when it comes to apologies. Don't you hate it when someone apologizes by saying "I deeply regret if anything I have done offended anyone" or "I apologize if my statements caused anyone harm" or some variation? They neglect to apologize for what they did, they're just saying they're sorry that you are so dumb that it bothered you.

They obviously feel not the first bit of regret for their actions. They take no responsibility for what they've done.

What really steams me is that people buy it. How many politicians apologize in that manner? Most of them.

We seem to be living in a society that does not believe in consequences for inappropriate actions. It is as though the word "sorry" rolling off the tongue absolves a person. How many times have you heard someone say "well, he / she apologized"? If someone acts sincere enough in their so-called apology the world is willing to give them a pass. Ha!

Oh, and what about those who include an excuse in their apology? My hair fell flat and the hem raveled on my dress, so when I trashed your reputation, I was just having a bad day? I am so sorry I was nasty, my dog dies three years ago and I'm still in mourning? I came from a single parent home and it scarred me for life, thus I continue to do and say horrible things, but I am just as sorry as I can be each time I slip?

I don't know about you gals, but if you are truly contrite you change your ways, you make sincere amends and you eat a bit of crow.

You will note that I have not apologized for not writing for the past while. I have every intention of changing my ways, but I am not sure enough of the fact to offer an apology.

You all have a wonderful weekend and go out and enjoy the sunshine while it is here! Not only does it feel good, it is good for you.

Miss Faye
(now don't go having a heart attack just because I am actually writing)

From My Recipe Book

2008-04-17T09:50:00.001-04:00

This morning, girls, I've got recipes on my mind. Here's what we're
having for supper:

l. Take an onion, peel the sucker, and cut it in half. Place the 2
halves in the bottom of that crockpot you finally washed.
2. Go post yet another sticky note to yourself to buy one of those
newer crockpots that can be washed in the dishwasher. Sigh and get
over the fact that lucky you just happened to get the one well-built
crockpot that, like some rumors, is just never gonna' die.
3. Place a pork roast on top of the onion halves, add a little bit of
water, put the lid on the crockpot, plug it in, turn it on low, and go
about your business.
4. When you're ready to eat, take the roast out and pull it apart with
a coupla forks, kinda' like you're shredding it, dontcha know. Serve
with your favorite barbecue sauce and a side of waldorf salad.

Preparation time: 4.12 minutes - and that includes the sticky note step.

~~~

I've also been thinking of late about a recipe for apologies:

1. Say what you're sorry for, then hush. Zip it. Be quiet.
2. Make sure your apology does NOT contain the word "but". "But" is an
eraser that eliminates everything before it, and once you stick that
little ole' bitty word into an apology, you go from apologizing to
defending your position. Not the same thing. Not at all.
3. When eating crow, remember that it goes down better with a heapin'
helpin' of sincerity. Apologize sincerely then get on with it and try
your deadlevel best to not have to repeat that particular apology.

That's what I'm thinking about this morning, girlfriends. Hope y'all
are doing swell and not sneezing too much.

Miz Vul

Pollen Clouds and Yalla Cars

2008-04-06T10:19:00.001-04:00

O Friends of mine,

Been enjoying the scenery? Riding around under all the Cherry Trees
and Dogwood Trees while they are in full bloom just makes me bloom.
Why, I sometimes just have to stop the car and cast adoring looks to
the trees. I love it. I praise God evvveeeerrrry time I see the
splendor of the blossoms. It's beautiful, it's... ahhhhh choooooo.

When I was growing up, my mama always insisted to having a light or
yalla car. I found the color boring until the spring time. At that
time, when the pollen was out and about in all its glory, we had a
car that looked clean. Yep, the pollen didn't even bother the color
of the car. We used to just laugh and laugh at all the people who
had those screaming yalla embossed cars.

Of course, having a white or yalla car is a good thing when you
happen to live in kaolin country. All that white chalk dust blowing
around. Gets on everything. Kaolin or "white gold" settles on
everything all year around. Dark cars and kaolin mines just don't go
hand in hand. You gals know much about white gold? I have some in my
garage from the last time I went down to kaolin country and took the
kids to see a bonafide kaolin mine. We went right on down into one of
them and had the owner of the land tell us about the operation.

Speaking of swirling clouds, when I was driving home on Friday, I got
caught up in a pollen cloud. It was downright eerie. Everything was
yalla and swirling around. We rolled up the windows to the car cause
I didn't want it in the car. It was like we had on yalla
sunglasses. And then the rains came. Thank you!!! I can't wait to
get back out today and see how all the blossoms look today. I bet
they are holding their little petals up high now that they had a
really good bath. You know, after it rains, I swear I can see the
trees, flowers and all things green stand up tall and thank the
Creator. How 'bout you?

Till later,
Miss Etta

Shades of Green

2008-04-03T20:59:00.000-04:00

Hey girls,

Are y'all feeling the effects of the POLLEN? I declare: on the rare
occasion I have to venture out, there's so much pollen in the air, it
looks like somebody's cutting their dirt. I'm relatively new to
allergies, and this is no fun. No fun at all. While all around me I
see signs of life budding, hear about people who are clearing out and
feeling all rejuvenated, it's all I can do to drag my own self from
the bed to the sofa and back to the bed. And every time I swallow, my
right ear sounds like somebody's taking a plunger to it.

I haven't even had the t.v. on while laying around in my pollen-
infested state, so I don't know anything I can comment on. Hubbie did
send me an email the other day about some fella who says Hillary has
been a liar for a long time.

Like that's big news.

How you girls faring out there in our yellowish-green world?

Miz Vul

Knee Slapping Times

2008-03-18T11:30:00.001-04:00

Do tell! Do tell!

I'm right there with ya on the press conference scene if that had
been my Mister. Why, I'm not even sure I would have said he was even
in the hospital. Nope. I got big brothers. And I've got a slew of
'em. Nuff said.

Oh, the sheer madness and insanity of it all. How is that people
think they are above the law? How is that politicians seem not to
understand the law and what happens WHEN they get caught with THEIR
hands in the cookie jar? How is that a candidate can have 20 year
ties with someone as a mentor and not agree with them? Come on.
Hey, I've got some land for sale. And, I know widows in East Bumble.

Oh, better watch out for those noses-- they're gonna grow by miles,
not just inches.

Didcha enjoy St. Paddy's Day? We had to have our traditional meal
yesterday. What, with me being Irish and all. My mouth was just
salivating and I was having to lick my chops as I prepared the
standard corn beef, coddles and soda bread. I could have eaten it
all day. Wait-- maybe I did.

Although, I have to tell ya that I draw the line at green eggs. I
tried to eat them once when I was in Savannah for the big day. Just
couldn't do it. No sir. Just couldn't put molded eggs in my mouth.
Green grits? As long as they are the right shade of green, I'll
gobble them down. Just gotta watch out for when they are kinda black
and green.

You ladies ever go to Savannah for the big day? Ah, I used to love
it there. All the excitement. All the people. All the green beer.
All the waiting in line for bladder relief. Guess they should have
had those senior adult type unmentionables. Bet they would sell
right well down there. Better than finding a secluded spot. Not
that I'm saying I ever did....

All this talk of green is making my mouth water. Better go find some
fresh mint for my juice. Aren't you glad the weather is warming up
now? Soon, my little plot of mint will be prospering and ready to
pop into my juice. Do you prefer the spearmint or the peppermint for
your julep juice?

Whatcha making for Easter? Think I'll have some Sunday Bourban
Taters on my menu. And maybe a triple strawberry cake. Some fresh
soda bread with blue cheese butter. A little julep juice..... Ah--

Miss Etta

Spitzer, Democrats and Obama

2008-03-14T07:28:00.003-04:00

Oh.

My.

Goodness.

What a mess of trouble the Democrats seem to be having.

First, I have to tell you how the press conference would have gone if I were married to New York Governor Spitzer.

"I'm not sorry to tell you that my SOB lying cheating husband is currently in the hospital and unable to stand on his own two feet to be here. It seems he accidentally walked into a door then fell down the stairs. If you need to contact him it's going to be difficult because he doesn't have a home at the moment, in fact, all that stuff surrounding me out here on the lawn happens to be his belongings.

"Feel free to paw through everything, like that now unlocked desk over there, to see if there are any more dark secrets that we'd ALL like to know about.

"Be sure not to knock over that "House for Sale" sign over near the curb.

Now, let me tell you what it's been like living with the arrogant, self-serving, pompous jerk who obviously doesn't give a damn about the children he fathered, after which I'll be more than happy to answer any and every question you might have."

It would go downhill from there 'cause I'd tell 'em whatever they wanted to know and I'd do it with a smile on my face.

First, before I did anything, yours truly would have the locks changed and move every penny of money I could into my own private account cause I'd be smart enough to figure out that my nice lifestyle just went down the proverbial toilet.

Now I could talk on and on about Spitzer (talk about what's in a name!), but all this mess with Obama is bordering on insane and I just have to throw in my few cents worth.

Tell me ladies, if your preacher started spouting stuff like Obama's preacher, just how long would you keep your pretty little tale ends sitting in the pew? I for one wouldn't be a member of a church where the preacher cursed, talked so hateful about people he didn't like and said America was damned by God. If the man or women talking from the pulpit is saying things that have to be bleeped on the radio and the news then I am not in church and I am not listening to a preacher.

My goodness, Obama CHOSE to listen to that hate mongering week after week. I was SHOCKED when I saw the video of that man in the pulpit. I heard Obama telling folks at some meeting that they'd be right at home in his church. I beg to differ Mr. Obama. I'm not adverse to a little fire and brimstone preaching at times, but that man wouldn't be MY minister. I'd be all about finding a different church if my fellow parishioners didn't band together to wash the minister's mouth out with soap and send him back for some more training, or better yet, send him packing.

You don't go sit in a church Sunday after Sunday if you don't agree with what the minister is saying. There are just too many choices these days, why there's a church on every corner and a flavor for everyone. Mr. Obama keeps talking about Hillary Clinton's judgement on the war. Humph. What about his judgement in choosing the church and minister he affiliates with? I think that is much more important than a one-time vote any day as it speaks of core values and the heart. It speaks to his outlook on life, the basis of his decision making process and what has shaped his values.

The press pussy foots around when they're talking about things to do with Obama, too. Everyone is SO delicate about how they talk about issues when it involves someone with a different color skin. What a bunch of hooey. I could care less whether someone is black, yellow, white or green for that matter. Actions are what count, and your heart, your concern, your core.

I want a President who LOVES our country and wants it to be better. I don't want a President who isn't proud of this great country. I want a President who would walk out of a church where the minister said the United States was DAMNED by GOD. And I want a President who's spouse is PROUD to live in our country, someone who sees the positive instead of the negative.

Talk is cheap. Well, it's cheap unless you're being paid as much as former President Bill Clinton! I'd take one speaking engagement at his prices a year and be happy.

But I digress. I am going to stop talking about Obama's preacher and the issue of race before I step over that imaginary line that turns me into a target if I haven't already done so. It's just a shame that we can't talk freely any more.

I do find it ironic that the Democrats are having such a difficult time with the race issue. Enough said about that, too.

Miss Etta, loved the name game and the books! Do you remember that song that took names and rhymed them? Something with bananas in it I think? It's lurking right on the edge of my memory but I can't quite pull it out of the murky depths.

Time to get started on my busy, busy day. I've probably stirred up a hornets nest with something I've written here. Oh well, it won't be the first time.

Miss Faye

What's in your name?

2008-03-13T10:34:00.001-04:00

Do tell, Miss Faye, do tell! I plumb forgot about Mr. Swindal and
his she-nan-i-gans. I had a friend who worked real hard for him when
he was campaigning. I always thought she got dreamy eyed when she
talked about him and all. I just wasn't sure if it was the man or
the fact he looked like a better version of her husband. Oh well--
as I remember now, she didn't have much to say when Swindal lived up
to his name.

What's in a name? Ever think about that? Back in my younger days
when I worked in a local hospital, we used to collect odd names.
Hey, we had to do something to take our minds off all the blood and
guts we used to see. The blood, the guts, the gunshots, the broken
bones, the sick, the dying, and the birthing. It was fun, but it got
to me after a while. Glad I got out of that business before the
newest virus of the 80's reared its self into mainstream life.

Anyway, as I was saying, we used to collect names and then imagine
books these people could have authored. So grab a cup of julep juice
and listen up.

College Life by Betty E Screws
Auto Maintenance by Aaron D Tire
Sensible Eating by Ima Hogg
Doll Collecting by Barb E. Dahl
Flying Lessons by Y. Drive
Tickle the Ivories by Dee Major
Beating the System by G I Mann-Slaughter
Between the Lines by Jay Walker
Paris on a Budget by Eileen N Towers
Parachuting by G. Ron Amo
Solar Flares by Mary Ray

Here I sit with just a plain name. No fun in Etta. Yesirreee, no
fun that I've ever seen.

Yall have a good day-- and remember to read those current
bestsellers "The Art of Prodding" by Al Rodham, and "War Strategy"
by Obama Run.

Miss Etta

Steamin and Stewin

2008-03-12T10:55:00.001-04:00

Miss Etta, is East Brumbles by chance in Nicaragua? I hear getting
Americans to help widows and exiles get their money is a pretty good
business over there.

Listen, girls, I am just steaming - steaming, I tell you. This New
York governor. WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS, ANYWAY? Isn't it absolutely
amazing how arrogant people can get? Arrogance knows no bounds,
that's for dang sure.

Remember that now ex-Congressman from Georgia with the unfortunate
name of Swindal? Nobody thought he could win the election, but bless
goodness he did. Then he got up there and got caught in some scheming
to get the money to pay for his big ole' house. (He needed a big
house cause his wife was ALWAYS pregnant At least she was every time
he had to go to court.) I mean, really. Did he think he was entitled
to it cause he sat on a chair in Congress?

Entitled is a word I detest. I absolutely, absolutely detest that
word. Makes my fingers quiver with revulsion just to type it.

Then we get to this fella from New York who allegedly dropped a right
nice chunk of change on a prostitute. (Miss Etta, maybe he helped
another widow woman get her money.) Him the self-appointed Mr. Moral
Conscience of the Universe Carrying A Great Ole Big Stick. Pride does
goeth, you know. Every time it goeth.

I don't even know where to start with this whole tangled mess, but
the 2 things that just aggravate me to no end are: 1) his wife
standing there beside him while he says "Yes, I was a bad boy" (no
apology, though. That's something i'm gonna' write about another
time, how we've become a land devoid of personal accountability. Stay
tuned.) and 2) what I think might just be behind this whole thing.

Why on earth would a man ask his wife to stand beside him (actually
she was standing behind him in the clip I saw) as he addressed the
world about how he unzipped his britches with another woman-for-hire?
And why on earth would she do it? Can somebody explain that to me,
please? I mean it's bad enough that he was sleeping-around on her,
but to ask her to stand there on stage with him as he tells the
universe that he did???? Even if it was his wife's idea to be there,
any man with a shred of compassion and decency (which probably rules
him out right there) would say "No, honey. You've been through
enough. I will not allow you to be further humiliated in such a way-
public fashion. Let me go get this press conference over with, then
I'll take you out to a nice, quiet dinner."

But I tell you, I wonder if our gal Hillary isn't behind this. Not
the rendezvous with the prostitute, but the big unveiling of the
rendezvous. Wonder if Mr. Big Time New York - who also just happens
to be a super-delegate - was planning to vote for Hillary or not.
Think about it. It's just the kind of thing Hillary would do. That's
all I'm sayin'.

Another thing that's got my panties in a wad this morning is the
letter the IRS is reportedly planning to send out to the tune of $42
MILLION DOLLARS telling folks to watch their mailbox this summer
cause a check's on its way. The IRS turned Publishers Clearinghouse.
Don't you girls think that the vast majority of us will KNOW when a
check lands in our mailbox beside all the bills and special offers?
$42 MILLION DOLLARS. And just before tax time, too. Guess we all
better check, check, and double check our returns cause they've gotta
pay for that postage from somewhere, and my bet is they'll be looking
at the tax returns with a magnifying glass this year.

Till next time,
Miz Vul

I'm Rich, I Tell YA

2008-03-04T09:08:00.000-05:00

Why, there it was in my mailbox. Not one, but two emails telling me
I'm rich!! Yep, I'm the lucky fool who has been selected at random
from, not one but two, recent widows somewhere over in East Bumble,
to help them get their husband's money! Isn't it wonderful?

What? Doncha think it's true? Surely no self respecting widow would
send out an erroneous message like that, would they?

I figure since they were so bright to find me, and only me, that I
will let them find the way to get me the money without hearing from
me. Shouldn't they be that suave, that savvy, that .........

You gals are on your high horses with your conspiracy theory stuff.
You gals make a lot of sense on this weighing in of the children. I
think the elected folks should be the first to jump on it on those
scales. Will we have to take them to the state line so the scales
that weigh all those really big trucks can attempt to find out their
weight? Might be kinda hard since so many of them are so full of
smoke, hot air, and gigantic egos. Hey, how much do those egos
weigh? Don't know if their brains weigh more or less?

I'm gittin real worn out listening to all the people running for
office tell me how much they are gonna do for me. Somehow it all
sounds the same. And I figure the same means more taxes and less
privacy. Soon, they'll be telling us what we can talk about on our
own front porch!

While everyone else is running around, you'll spot me. I'll be the
one who has all those rich widows' money from East Bumble. When the
check arrives, I'll even treat ya'll to dinner.

Miss Etta

Still Trying to Find My Way Around the Weighing

2008-03-03T21:00:00.001-05:00

Woo hoo, Miss Faye. You tell it, girlfriend. I LOVE your idea about
weighing in the esteemed legislators and posting THAT information on
the internet.

The "aggregate", of course.

Talk about some big ole' numbers. 'Course the numbers from the scales
wouldn't hold a candle to the numbers we'd get if we could measure
how much weight some of those elected officials throw around.

I tell you what I'd like to see weighed and that's the brains of the
members of the Clayton County Board of Education. Have you ever heard
of such a mess? I see on the Georgia Front Page where Governor Sonny
has Ronnie Chance trotting around some legislation that would
automatically, I assume, put out a referendum if the school system
loses accreditation. It'd go like this: school board members fart
around and lose accreditation for their system. Then, while they're
hiding out in their homes that may or may not actually be in the
geographical school system area they allegedly represent, an election
is held for voters to say "keep 'em" or "get rid of the dang fools."
Should voters choose door #2, Secretary of State would appoint
replacement board members - which is a good way to do it, in the
sense that holding elections is not cheap.

I just hope when and if they set up the scales they'll come up with
some high falutin' formula or sliding scale specially for those
school kids in Clayton County cause we three know that those kids are
gonna' be downing the junk food like never before. Specially high
school students wondering about getting into a college. Stress
increases appetites, it just does.

Miss Faye, Sugar, I am with you: it's the government intrusion that
just steams my broccoli. Like we need the government to save us from
ourselves. They just WISH we were half as stupid as they treat us.

I don't even think I can go much further down this road for fear
it'll make my Little Miss Debbie Double Chocolate Wafer Bar come back
up.

Y'all take care now.

Till next time,

Miz Vul